Posts tagged "Drunk"

Jenelle Evans Is Wanted For Assaulting Her Ex-Fiance

Jenelle Evans is wanted for an alleged assault that happened a week after she got arrested for driving without a license, so things are going great.

By: Photo Boy / May 27, 2015

Tiger Woods & Lindsey Vonn Broke Up

Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn have called it quits. So far no hookers have come forward, but give it time. Give it time.

By: The Superficial / May 4, 2015

Now Joe Simpson Is Wasted

It’s Papa Joe’s turn to make an ass out of himself. Let’s see how he does.

By: The Superficial / March 23, 2015

And Now A Sh*t-Faced Jessica Simpson Talking About Her Kids

“Her dad is her boyfriend!” – Actual quote, you’re going to want to get in here.

By: Photo Boy / March 19, 2015

David Arquette Got His Ass Kicked By Justin Bieber. The Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber personally threw David Arquette out of his 21st birthday party. With his own big boy arms and everything!

By: The Superficial / March 18, 2015

Emile Hirsch Charged With Felony Assault, Checks Into Rehab

Emile Hirsch has been charged with felony assault after allegedly attacking a woman at Sundance, and choking her, while drunk off his ass. Fortunately, he’s a rich, white celebrity, so all he has to do is check into rehab (done) and it’s like the whole thing never even happened!

By: The Superficial / February 13, 2015

Bobby Brown Won’t Pull The Plug

Bobby Brown refuses to pull the plug on Bobbi Kristina because miracles.

By: The Superficial / February 6, 2015

Emile Hirsch Allegedly Put A Female Studio Exec Into A Headlock

Eyewitness accounts claim Emile Hirsch not only drunkenly assaulted a female studio executive but also put her in a headlock, so nice guy. Really cool person.

By: The Superficial / January 28, 2015

Johnny Depp’s Drunk Or Something

Now that one of your most prominent childhood memories has been accused of anal rape for the 14th (15th?) time, let’s get back to celebrities embarrassing themselves in public. Here’s Johnny Depp presenting at the Hollywood Film Awards where he was either drunk or pretending to be drunk because he has a hot, young fiance

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014

Lindsay Lohan Endorses Brazilian Politician With Chopper Full of Coke

In a now-deleted tweet, Lindsay Lohan endorsed Brazilian presidential candidate AĆ©cio Neves yesterday because if there’s one person the people of South America look to for political advice, it’s Roja Diabla de la Whitenose, Holy Mother of DongBongs. And now for the part about coke because of course this is about coke and probably the…

By: The Superficial / October 22, 2014

Shia LaBeouf’s Drunk Butt-Touching Days Are Over

Posted by Photo Boy

Remember last week when the artist formerly known as the actor Shia LaBeouf went on Ellen to thoughtfully reflect on society’s shared existential void, which lead him to act out, in turn leading meanie meanheads to say mean things about him on the Internet? It could have been all…

By: Photo Boy / October 14, 2014

Jennifer Lopez & Leah Remini Hit By Drunk Driver

According to Jennifer Lopez‘s Instagram, she has a butt. And while that seems as good a place as any to wrap this post up because its work here is done, she also apparently got hit by a drunk driver on Saturday while sitting at a red light with Leah Remini and their kids in the…

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014

The Palins Beat The Shit Out of An Entire Party

“I’ll goshdarn say it again, Moose Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.”

In Matthew 5:5 Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Later, in that same chapter, he expands on his message in verse 39: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them…

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014

Ray Rice Found Jesus And Stopped Drinking, Everybody, Hallelujah!

While the NFL finds itself in even more shit after a law enforcement official confirmed to the AP that execs had a copy of the Ray Rice elevator video since April, Ray Rice’s handlers are staying focused on making sure they’ve done enough spin before he inevitably plays professional football again next season if not…

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014

BREAKING: Ryan Seacrest Got Drunk Enough To Touch A Vagina

“You! Yeah… you, right there. Black dress, stupid strap thingy. You get Cowell on the line and you tell that bastard a bet’s a FUCKING bet. He didn’t think I could do it, well, you tell him I fucking did it. I fucking did it all by myself with my hands on the slimy thing…

By: The Superficial / August 22, 2014

Lindsay Lohan Demanded To Do The Ice Bucket Challenge In The Middle of A Club

Lindsay Lohan‘s production of Speed-the-Plow opens in a month, so naturally she’s terrorizing clubs in New York by trying to pay with a maxed out credit card and demanding to do the Ice Bucket Challenge in the middle of the floor. Page Six reports:

She appeared at Up & Down on Monday, where…

By: The Superficial / August 21, 2014

Katy Perry’s Breasts Went To A Water Park

Taylor Swift aside, the past 12 hours have been a pretty amazing time for breasts. So below is Katy Perry at Schlitterbahn Water Park in Kansas which is nowhere near as awesome as the time her ass fell out at Raging Waters, but at the end of the video, the camera practically smacks into one…

By: The Superficial / August 19, 2014

Chrissy Teigen Got Drunk At A Dodgers Game, Still Pitched Better Than 50 Cent

Here’s a drunk – by her own admissionChrissy Teigen at last night’s Dodgers game where she still managed to throw a better first pitch than 50 Cent did. And by better I mean it sort of went over the plate before she rolled around in the grass with Bonnie Cook then took picture…

By: The Superficial / August 6, 2014

Patrick Stewart Will Insult Any Belly He Wants, You Jonas Brother Loving… Belly

James Corden is about to be named Craig Ferguson‘s replacement on The Late Late Show, but nobody gives a shit about that, so here’s a better story that’s emerged from it because the Internet runs on Patrick Stewart almost as much as it runs on porn. I’ve done studies. Anyway, here’s the time Captain Picard…

By: The Superficial / August 6, 2014

Jack Bauer Unprofessional? I Won’t Believe It

“But there’s a.. there’s a bomb in that whiskey. Someone has to drink it.”
“Sir, that’s a parking meter.”
Then how did it know my name?!”

Because voicing a character on a Star Wars cartoon has filled him with unbridled hubris, Freddie Prinze Jr. went off on Kiefer Sutherland during a…

By: The Superficial / July 29, 2014
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