Nick Carter tried to fight a bouncer, yet somehow ended up getting his ass beat and arrested. It’s a mystery.
Wait, Shia LaBeouf lied out of his ass while getting arrested? NO!
I’m just not seeing it.
Was Jessica Simpson drunk on the Home Shopping Network, or is she just naturally incapable of talking like people? It’s a mystery.
Jenelle Evans is wanted for an alleged assault that happened a week after she got arrested for driving without a license, so things are going great.
Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn have called it quits. So far no hookers have come forward, but give it time. Give it time.
It’s Papa Joe’s turn to make an ass out of himself. Let’s see how he does.
“Her dad is her boyfriend!” – Actual quote, you’re going to want to get in here.
Justin Bieber personally threw David Arquette out of his 21st birthday party. With his own big boy arms and everything!
Emile Hirsch has been charged with felony assault after allegedly attacking a woman at Sundance, and choking her, while drunk off his ass. Fortunately, he’s a rich, white celebrity, so all he has to do is check into rehab (done) and it’s like the whole thing never even happened!
Bobby Brown refuses to pull the plug on Bobbi Kristina because miracles.
Eyewitness accounts claim Emile Hirsch not only drunkenly assaulted a female studio executive but also put her in a headlock, so nice guy. Really cool person.
Now that one of your most prominent childhood memories has been accused of anal rape for the 14th (15th?) time, let’s get back to celebrities embarrassing themselves in public. Here’s Johnny Depp presenting at the Hollywood Film Awards where he was either drunk or pretending to be drunk because he has a hot, young fiance…
In a now-deleted tweet, Lindsay Lohan endorsed Brazilian presidential candidate Aécio Neves yesterday because if there’s one person the people of South America look to for political advice, it’s Roja Diabla de la Whitenose, Holy Mother of DongBongs. And now for the part about coke because of course this is about coke and probably the…