Doutzen Kroes


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Doutzen Kroes’ Butt Isn’t A Boring-Ass Country Music Divorce

Doutzen Kroes’ butt won’t bore you to tears. More »

A Moment For Doutzen Kroes

Doutzen Kroes’ spectacular ass poses for a photo shoot in Miami and isn’t a depressing post about violence against women or Chelsea Handler’s nipples. You’re welcome. More »

The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Now that we’ve seen Taylor Swift serenading a woman’s butt and Chris Hansen’s greatest sting yet, here’s the rest of The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring models I didn’t have time to label, so it’s on you to remember what their names are. They have feelings, you bastard!


Two Mornings of Doutzen Kroes? I’ll Allow It And Other News

- A Woman’s Abs Are Something Like Magic [theCHIVE]

- Brandi Glanville has a chance with Michael Fassbender. That’s how I read this. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Sweeting tattooted “Kaley” on his arm. That should end well. [Dlisted]

- Kellan Lutz dumped Miley Cyrus after his movie came out. More »

Good Morning, Doutzen Kroes, And Other News

- “Pose for Terry Richardson, and I’ll be your boyfriend.” – Exactly what’s happening here [Lainey Gossip]

– When you bang a new Victoria’s Secret model everyday, what’s the point of coke? [Dlisted]

- In Life There’s Underboob, And Then There’s Everything Else [theCHIVE]

- Madonna will master our… More »

The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Because we’re serious, comprehensive journalists, here’s the rest of The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring everyone who’s not Candice Swanepoel or that chick who won’t shut up about her ex because they already got their own posts. Not that that means the rest of these models should commit suicide, but they probably shouldn’t look… More »

Taylor Swift Performed At The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? The Taylor Swift?

If I had to choose the prudest person in the world to perform at The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it’d be Taylor Swift followed by a nun in a chastity belt at a distant second. That said, Taylor does have an incredible body that I’ll never have sex with in a thousand years which was… More »

Good Morning, Doutzen Kroes, And Other News

- Everybody seems to be freaking out about this Mumford & Sons video, so enjoy. [Lainey Gossip]

- Britney Spears knows how to dress for Jesus. [Dlisted]

– Tugging on clothes is the best form of exercise. [theCHIVE]

- Miley Cyrus says she’s not ratchet. Riiiiight. [tooFab]

More »

Good Morning, Doutzen Kroes in a Bikini, And Other News

- Of course Chris Martin was photographed with “cupping” marks on his back. [Lainey Gossip]

– This Kim K look-a-like in Ray J’s ‘I Hit It First’ video is missing about 48 pounds of buttmeat. [Dlisted]

- College: There’s a good chance someone from one of these pics is actually dead… More »

It’s Doutzen Kroes In A Bikini And Other News

- Viggo Mortensen reaffirms his awesomeness by not giving a fuck about the new pope. [Lainey Gossip]

– Shirtless Zack Morris, anyone? [Dlisted]

– In case Doutzen Kroes’ monumental ass wasn’t enough. [theCHIVE]

- Kim Kardashian knows Amanda Bynes is a popular search term. Whores that shit. [TooFab]
More »

Lindsay Lohan Somehow Invited To amfAR Gala

Last night’s amfAR Gala included such famous, beautiful faces as Heidi Klum, Doutzen Kroes and Ashley Greene (Sarah Jessica Parker was also there, but I’m pretty sure I was only listing beautiful people so shut your mouth.), yet somehow Lindsay Lohan was invited despite everyone else in attendance being working professionals who’ve earned the respect… More »

The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

“Aw, no Tinker Toys?” – Justin Bieber

Imagine you’re a little kid who somehow completely forgot it was Christmas and woke up one day to find your living room stuffed to the gills with presents and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what my morning’s been like minus a full hour crying… More »

More Doutzen Kroes In A Bikini And Other News

- Chad Kroeger is presenting Avril Lavigne now. [Lainey Gossip]

– Bad girls bend at the waist apparently. [theCHIVE]

- Sally Struthers got a DUI. [Dlisted]

– Proof art is dead. Or at least has chlamydia. [BuzzFeed]

- Heather Graham’s cleavage is still awesome. [Popoholic]

More »

Doutzen Kroes & Candice Swanepoel Wore Bikinis. Doutzen Won.

Because Victoria’s Secret shoots the ones Leonardo DiCaprio’s banging first so they can send them right back to him for more banging, here are Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel’s shoots in Miami yesterday where apparently their respective themes were “Explode Every Wiener” and “I Caught This One Eating Again, Make Her Look Boring.” God, photography’s… More »

Doutzen Kroes Wore Another Bikini And Other News

- Newly Single Chivettes, but I can’t seem to find the field where you enter your credit card information… [theCHIVE]

– Apparently no one can criticize Girls unless it’s James Franco. [Lainey Gossip]

- Adorable The Avengers Fan Art (Spoiler Alert: Loki’s gay in almost of them. But adorably gay!) [BuzzFeed]… More »

Doutzen Kroes In A Bikini And Other News

- The Hottest Cosplay Girls of 2012… So Far [theCHIVE]

- Stacy Keibler might be pulling off the impossible. [Lainey Gossip]

- Christian Fight Club is a real thing. [BuzzFeed]

– 11-year-old Ryan Gosling dancing to C&C Music Factory is about to make every woman online experience strange and… More »

Chris Brown’s New Pickup Line Presented By Doutzen Kroes In A Bikini

Full Disclosure: The only way this could even be remotely true is if a.) God exists and b.) he’s funny as shit. Via Us Weekly:

Chris Brown — who pleaded guilty in 2009 for felony assault for hitting then-girlfriend Rihanna — confidently approached an attractive brunette Feb. 10 at the Lasio Professional Hair… More »

Doutzen Kroes is Leggy and Other News

Posted by Photo Boy

– Here’s Kate Upton dancing in a bikini. Tell your boss I apologize for your lack of effort today. [theCHIVE]

– And here she is modeling lingerie. [DrunkenStepfather: NSFW]

- Kate Upton owns the goddamn Internet today. Just accept it. [Heavy]

- JohnMore »

Kanye West Wants World Leaders At His Funeral

Let me just preface this by saying, if you thought you knew how egotistical Kanye West is, you’ve clearly never asked him who he wants to be at his funeral because you’re not running around screaming, “Oh, God, Jesus, his head! His head is pushing us all off the Earth! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” Via… More »

Doutzen Kroes & Lindsay Ellingson in Bikinis and Other News

- Sean Penn brought Scarlett Johansson to Reese Witherspoon’s wedding. [Popeater]

- Teen Mom Jenelle Evans arrested for white trash brawlin’. [Celebslam]

- Kingston Rossdale is dressing himself now. [Dlisted]

- Jessica Biel wanted to be Lois Lane. [Lainey Gossip]

- Fergie actually looking like a woman. More »

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