Doutzen Kroes


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Doutzen Kroes’ Butt Isn’t A Boring-Ass Country Music Divorce

Doutzen Kroes’ butt won’t bore you to tears. More »

A Moment For Doutzen Kroes

Doutzen Kroes’ spectacular ass poses for a photo shoot in Miami and isn’t a depressing post about violence against women or Chelsea Handler’s nipples. You’re welcome. More »

The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Now that we’ve seen Taylor Swift serenading a woman’s butt and Chris Hansen’s greatest sting yet, here’s the rest of The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring models I didn’t have time to label, so it’s on you to remember what their names are. They have feelings, you bastard!


Two Mornings of Doutzen Kroes? I’ll Allow It And Other News

- A Woman’s Abs Are Something Like Magic [theCHIVE]

- Brandi Glanville has a chance with Michael Fassbender. That’s how I read this. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Sweeting tattooted “Kaley” on his arm. That should end well. [Dlisted]

- Kellan Lutz dumped Miley Cyrus after his movie came out. More »

Good Morning, Doutzen Kroes, And Other News

- “Pose for Terry Richardson, and I’ll be your boyfriend.” – Exactly what’s happening here [Lainey Gossip]

– When you bang a new Victoria’s Secret model everyday, what’s the point of coke? [Dlisted]

- In Life There’s Underboob, And Then There’s Everything Else [theCHIVE]

- Madonna will master our… More »

The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Because we’re serious, comprehensive journalists, here’s the rest of The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring everyone who’s not Candice Swanepoel or that chick who won’t shut up about her ex because they already got their own posts. Not that that means the rest of these models should commit suicide, but they probably shouldn’t look… More »

Taylor Swift Performed At The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? The Taylor Swift?

If I had to choose the prudest person in the world to perform at The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it’d be Taylor Swift followed by a nun in a chastity belt at a distant second. That said, Taylor does have an incredible body that I’ll never have sex with in a thousand years which was… More »

Good Morning, Doutzen Kroes, And Other News

- Everybody seems to be freaking out about this Mumford & Sons video, so enjoy. [Lainey Gossip]

- Britney Spears knows how to dress for Jesus. [Dlisted]

– Tugging on clothes is the best form of exercise. [theCHIVE]

- Miley Cyrus says she’s not ratchet. Riiiiight. [tooFab]

More »

Good Morning, Doutzen Kroes in a Bikini, And Other News

- Of course Chris Martin was photographed with “cupping” marks on his back. [Lainey Gossip]

– This Kim K look-a-like in Ray J’s ‘I Hit It First’ video is missing about 48 pounds of buttmeat. [Dlisted]

- College: There’s a good chance someone from one of these pics is actually dead… More »

It’s Doutzen Kroes In A Bikini And Other News

- Viggo Mortensen reaffirms his awesomeness by not giving a fuck about the new pope. [Lainey Gossip]

– Shirtless Zack Morris, anyone? [Dlisted]

– In case Doutzen Kroes’ monumental ass wasn’t enough. [theCHIVE]

- Kim Kardashian knows Amanda Bynes is a popular search term. Whores that shit. [TooFab]
More »

Lindsay Lohan Somehow Invited To amfAR Gala

Last night’s amfAR Gala included such famous, beautiful faces as Heidi Klum, Doutzen Kroes and Ashley Greene (Sarah Jessica Parker was also there, but I’m pretty sure I was only listing beautiful people so shut your mouth.), yet somehow Lindsay Lohan was invited despite everyone else in attendance being working professionals who’ve earned the respect… More »

The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

“Aw, no Tinker Toys?” – Justin Bieber

Imagine you’re a little kid who somehow completely forgot it was Christmas and woke up one day to find your living room stuffed to the gills with presents and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what my morning’s been like minus a full hour crying… More »

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