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Jean-Claude Van Damme: The Illuminati Won’t Let Trump Be President

Jean-Claude Van Damme is the political mind America needs right now. No, the world.

The Superficial | May 2, 2016 - 2:13 pm

Donald Trump Says Caitlyn Jenner Can Pee Wherever She Wants

Donald Trump is suddenly very pro-transgender. I’m scared.

The Superficial | April 21, 2016 - 1:00 pm

Kirstie Alley Hands Donald Trump The Batshit Xenu Vote

Kristie Alley is voting for Trump because she’s a woman. Okay.

The Superficial | April 11, 2016 - 2:15 pm

Aaron Carter’s Secret Political Intelligence Has Led Him Back To Trump

Aaron Carter is back on the Trump train, so you can stop agonizing over casting your ballot now.

Photo Boy | April 6, 2016 - 2:30 pm

Let’s Try This, Which Daughters Does Donald Trump *Not* Want To Fuck?

Donald Trump is obsessed with his daugther Tiffany’s breasts, too. Oh, good.

The Superficial | April 6, 2016 - 11:19 am

Chelsea Handler’s Butt Hole Is Campaigning Against Trump, Great

Chelsea Handler’s butt hole would like to say a few words about Donald Trump who you should apparently vote for or Sarah Palin will kill again. This is our country now. …

The Superficial | April 5, 2016 - 10:45 am

Kendra Wilkinson Supports Trump Because She’s A ‘Conspiracy Theorist’

Kendra Wilkinson is voting for Donald Trump because she thinks being conservative means you live in a house.

The Superficial | April 1, 2016 - 2:00 pm

Susan Sarandon Wants People To Go Bernie Or Bust, Goddammit

Susan Sarandon’s boobs have some dangerous shit to propose.

The Superficial | March 29, 2016 - 12:42 pm

Now Caitlyn Jenner’s Voting For Trump, I Don’t Even Know

Caitlyn Jenner will vote whoever the Republican candidate is because paying less taxes is more important than “trans issues.” Cute.

The Superficial | March 24, 2016 - 1:15 pm

Trump Loses Crucial Aaron Carter Vote

Donald Trump just lost his invitation to Aaron’s Party, but don’t worry, for off in the distance, a Chachi waits.

The Superficial | March 22, 2016 - 11:00 am

John Oliver Just Shit All Over Donald Trump’s Stupid Wall

John Oliver went after Donald Trump’s bullshit wall around Mexico.

The Superficial | March 21, 2016 - 9:30 am

Tiffany Trump Seems Fun. Also, There’s A Tiffany Trump?

So were you guys going to tell me about Tiffany Trump before or after the election? I thought we were friends.

The Superficial | March 17, 2016 - 12:10 pm

Bella Thorne & Samantha Bee Are Something For Everybody

A hot, redhead former Disney star who’s not Lindsay Lohan, and Trump supporters looking like giant fucking idiots. You have to like at least one of those things.

The Superficial | March 15, 2016 - 1:30 pm

Goddammit, Now I Have To Vote For Trump, Sonofabitch

Just… sonofabitch.

The Superficial | March 11, 2016 - 2:00 pm

John Oliver’s Donald Trump Takedown Is A Goddamn Work of Art

Donald Trump gets his orange balls handed to him by John Oliver, but not before cinching the ever-crucial Aaron Carter endorsement.

The Superficial | February 29, 2016 - 9:52 pm

Donald Trump Is Gonna Play This Stinkin’ Country Like A Harp From Hell

Donald Trump told his supporters, to their faces, that he could shoot somebody in the middle of Fifth Avenue, and they’d still vote for him like lemmings.

The Superficial | January 25, 2016 - 11:10 am

Donald Trump Loves The Muslims

Donald Trump would put a Muslim in his cabinet, or even on his ticket, because he loves them so much now. They’re “great” people.

The Superficial | September 21, 2015 - 2:40 pm

Tom Brady Is A Donald Trump Supporter

Tom Brady has a Donald Trump hat in his locker. We’re all fucked.

The Superficial | September 8, 2015 - 12:55 pm
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