Ryan Sweeting is allegedly addicted to painkillers. He should talk to Chet Haze. (That was a joke. Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that.)…
Kaley Cuoco is getting a divorce. Yay?
No one ever stops and thinks about the butts.
Our long national musical nightmare is over.
Tom Brady’s suspension was overturned just as Gisele Bundchen is getting ready to leave him. So two wins in a row?
Brian Austin Green gets to live off of TMNT money forever. You really are a bastard, God.
Jared Fogle’s wife isn’t fucking around.
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green broke up. Voodoo works!
Christine Ouzounian is trying to ride Ben Affleck’s dick into a reality TV deal.
Lamar Odom surprised Khloe Kardashian at the gym because could you imagine the ratings if he killed her? Kris Jenner has.
Ben Affleck brought the nanny on a private jet with Tom Brady. How did he think that would play out?
Ben Affleck’s straying dick just got thrown under the bus.
Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are getting a divorce, too.
Ben Affleck, you stupid devil you.
Ben Affleck is denying tabloid reports that he stuck his penis in the nanny. Batman prefers butlers.
Miranda Lambert claims Blake Shelton is the cheater. Yee-haw?
Blake Shelton believes Miranda Lambert cheated on him and kicked her off his ranch. Pure country! It’s coming back.
Ben Affleck is a sad, middle-aged dude. Just like you!
Kanye West is furious about Scott Disick abandoning his family. Kanye is performing in Ottawa tonight.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are going to keep living in the same house together. Okay.