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And We’re Out On Demi Lovato’s Butt

Demi Lovato’s butt will declare our Independence Day. More »


Demi & Wilmer Had A ‘Big Brother Little Sister’ Relationship? Uh…

The power dynamics of Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama’s relationship sound about right. More »


Demi Lovato Handled A Giant Boner Like A Pro

Demi Lovato knows her way around an erection. More »



Demi Lovato Is Naked

Naked Demi Lovato hopes you like butt crack. More »


A Moment For Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato wore this. You’re welcome. More »


Sorry, Fez, Demi Lovato’s All Grown Up Now

Demi Lovato looks like an adult woman in her new video. Fez is not going to like this. More »



Demi Lovato Flashed Her Panties To Wilmer Valderrama

Demi Lovato flashed her panties in Wilmer Valderrama’s car as they left Nick Jonas’ CD release party, so imagine the worst night of your life, then multiply it by dick cancer. More »


And Now Back To Sexy Celebrities In Bikinis, Or Just Demi Lovato

Now that I wrote a short novel about corporal punishment, here’s Demi Lovato lounging poolside in a bikini which is about as non-controversial as it gets until you find yourself wondering where Wilmer Valderrama is and start Googling local high schools to see if they had Homecoming dances this weekend. That’s where he feeds.
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The Rest of The Goddamn #VMAs

Because our server is like the TARDIS if the TARDIS had Down syndrome, we’re falling apart at the seams over here, so here’s the rest of The 2014 VMAs before the whole thing explodes. And if you’re wondering why I’m not posting about Beyonce’s feminist tour de force or Miley Cyrus using all of her… More »



The 2014 Teen Choice Awards

Someone just spotted Kim Kardashian.

I’ve grown old enough where I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager and now hate them for their youthful vigor and freedom to make stupid choices with abandon. Case in point: I once drove an hour to the nearest Best Buy to buy Limp Bizkit’s SignificantMore »


Demi Lovato Made Naked Pictures

Like my contemporaries God and his hippie bastard of a son, I don’t work on Sundays. Except today’s a special Sunday because Demi Lovato’s naked pictures just leaked and I’ll be horse-damned if I’m going to renege on my sacred journalistic oath to put boobies on the Internet. Also, if I’m being frank, this is… More »


Joe Jonas Admits He Had Sex With Girls, Smoked The Marijuana Like A Cigarette

“Come along, pussy cat. We’re going to buy reefer from the Negroes. Yeah, see, yeah.”

In a surprisingly candid interview with Vulture, a now mustachioed Joe Jonas talks about his experience with the Jonas Brothers and all the Disney insanity that came with it. He also opens up about all the insanity over… More »



Wear A Condom, Wilmer Valderrama, Wear A Condom Now!

Because if you put a cap and gown on her, she can still pass for 17, Demi Lovato is having sex again with Wilmer Valderrama who should probably read her latest interview in Latina magazine before the next time they play, “Rickety Van’s Candy Promise.”

“I’m a Texas girl, so my instinct is… More »


There Are Demi Lovato Nude Photos. Yay?

Someone is reportedly trying to sell over 20 nude photos of Demi Lovato in “compromising positions,” according to Radar who apparently talks like Downtown Abbey now:

Radar has been unable to verify the breast-baring images are authentic, however the woman in the images has some tell-tale signs suggesting it is indeed the ex-Sonny… More »


Britney Spears Will Save Amanda Bynes

I feel good about this already.

Britney Spears doesn’t know what day of the week it is, but she is under a conservatorship for being crazy, so that’s enough to come up with a story about her trying to help Amanda Bynes which I’m going to repeat for the sole purpose of making… More »



Here’s Every Single Crazy Face Bertney Made At The ‘X Factor’ Premiere

Fun Fact: Shortly after Britney Spears just walked right off set during her first episode of X Factor, Simon Cowell secretly suffered a nervous breakdown that forced him to disappear for three weeks. Now imagine being in those shoes and coming back to see each and every one of these faces you paid $15 million… More »


Bertney’s Gon’ Be On TV, Y’All! And She Done Brought Her Britches

Proving his voluminous man-boobs possess a dark bitch-tit magic that can bend men’s minds to his will, Simon Cowell successfully talked Britney Spears’ dad and her fiance into accepting $15 million that she’ll never see a dime of to be a judge on the second season of X-Factor along with Demi Lovato because who doesn’t… More »


Demi Lovato Wore A Bikini, Too

“Eww. Why you posting granny porn?” – Fez

It’s been an unusually awesome week for bikinis thanks to Leighton Meester’s butt, Rihanna’s Facebook and Kelly Brook’s new Tumblr, so here’s Demi Lovato in Brazil which really isn’t anywhere near the same category as those other three but people seem to get really excited… More »



Demi Lovato & Vanessa Hudgens Won The People’s Choice Awards

The People’s Choice Awards are held on a Wednesday so right off the bat that tells you how little anyone cares about it. So keeping with that spirit, I’m going to ignore who won what for who gives a shit and focus on the people who made me want to hang out outside of high… More »


Wilmer Valderrama Dumped Demi Lovato

“Stop looking at me, Chris Hansen.”

With her 20th birthday looming this year, underage face-mauler extraordinaire Wilmer Valderrama really didn’t have a choice when it came to dumping Demi Lovato over the weekend. The heart wants what the heart wants, and his just happens to want teenagers. You can’t fight nature! People reports:… More »


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