David Hasselhoff


More David Hasselhoff stories

This Post Is About David Hasselhoff’s Insatiable Erection

David Hasselhoff is promoting two new projects, but all you’re going to read about here is his boner. The Internet! More »

David Hasselhoff’s New Music Video Demands Your Attention

David Hasselhoff’s new video will rekindle your love affair with the 80s or make no fucking sense because half of you were born after 1991. Get off my lawn! More »

Rich People Pretending To Be Groovy Hippies, Man

Now that we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio dancing, the continued effects of lupus on the mind, and British on Dutch foreplay, here’s the rest of the rich people pretending to be earth spirits or some stupid shit they told themselves on the jet ride over. In their defense, they only get 30-40 weeks a year to… More »

We’re Experiencing Technical Difficulties

For those of you living in the northeast, we just got buttslammed with an ice storm that’s left Photo Boy without power along with diverting the Susquehanna River into his basement. The whole river. On top of that, I’m locked out of our largest photo agency while our parent company’s in the middle of hashing… More »

I’m Sorry, David Hasselhoff, But Today Is The Day You Have To Kill Yourself

I’ll always carry this picture. In my heart…

David Hasselhoff recently found himself the target of an unsavory rumor that he once posed naked while surrounded by cheese. A rumor that probably definitely happened because the man is 86% scotch. (I hear his nude oil paintings as Ronald McDonald are the rage in… More »

David Hasselhoff Tried To Slide Across KITT While Dressed As Captain Hook. It Didn’t Work.

“Have you tried thinking about cheeseburgers, Michael?”

Because Armageddon is upon us and because we can, here’s David Hasselhoff in character as Captain Hook mounting KITT in London yesterday. Which is really all I should have to say to sell this post, but fine, you forced it out of me: These faces. Just… More »

David Hasselhoff is The Gay Matrix Now

Posted by Photo Boy

Here’s David Hasselhoff performing at something called G-A-Y London which I naturally assume is some sort of club where they hold Fantasy Football draft parties. I guess I could use someone else’s computer to actually look up this place and find out what it really is, but that would… More »

The Hoff Will Seduce You and Other News

“Cheeseburger? M’lady…”

- Selena Gomez could face the wrath of tween angst. [Popeater]

– The reasoning behind Gwyneth Paltrow’s kids’ names finally revealed. [Dlisted]

- Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz don’t trust Spanish hospitals either. [Lainey Gossip]

- Salma Hayek is still in a bikini. [Hollywood Tuna]… More »

Captain Hook Doesn’t Drive KITT…
and Other News

(Yes, that’s David Hasselhoff, and this is literally what I have to work with today.)

- Reese Witherspoon might get married again. [Popeater]

- Aretha Franklin is gonna make it. [Dlisted]

- Everyone Loves Matt Damon [Lainey Gossip]

- Denise Richards still has it. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is… More »

Kate Gosselin’s vagina is lonely

Kate Gosselin reportedly hasn’t been penetrated in almost 15 months and, even worse, it was by Jon Gosselin, according to Life & Style:

According to Stephanie Santoro — the family’s former nanny, who hooked up with Jon after his June 2009 split with Kate — Jon and Kate hadn’t gotten physical since the… More »

David Hasselhoff’s entire family has a drinking problem

Depending on where you got your gossip in my absence, David Hasselhoff was either hospitalized for a seizure or put on psychological hold for the weekend. Regardless it’s pretty much a given he drank an entire replica of KITT filled with bourbon then lost consciousness. On top of that, his ex-wife Pamela Bach managed… More »

David Hasselhoff adds pants-pissing, doctor-punching to his drunken resume

David Hasselhoff managed to drink himself into the hospital again. This time in London which is an almost superhuman feat considering those people drink 20 pints of ale for breakfast. The Sun reports:

The bender began at the weekend when the US actor joined about 400 A-listers at X Factor supremo Simon… More »

David Hasselhoff takes teenage daughter to sex shop

Apparently it’s Fucked Up Fathers Week on The Superficial because here’s David Hasselhoff taking his 17 year old daughter Hayley to an erotic sex shop for a lingerie show last night. I’m assuming this is some sort of psychological revenge for her calling 911 the other day for his “ear infection” which had to… More »

UPDATE: David Hasselhoff vs. Alcohol Poisoning: Round 587!

As legitimate actors with careers attended the Emmy Awards, David Hasselhoff kept it real by sitting at home chugging vodka like it was the goddamn antidote. Unfortunately for him, it ended up being the antidote to not going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning for the 35th time. RadarOnline reports:

Hasselhoff was home… More »

David Hasselhoff knows what the ladies want

Apparently this is my morning to kick around stars of the 80s. David Hasselhoff thinks he’s got the magic key to any woman’s pants: Autographed pictures of himself. Damn, Hoff, try to leave some ladies behind for the rest of us. NY Daily News reports:

“Last week, a group of three came… More »

David Hasselhoff gets alcohol poisoning


David Hasselhoff had a relapse in his battle with alcoholism and was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Hospital yesterday where he was treated for alcohol poisoning. David is currently in a custody battle with his ex, Pamela Bach. TMZ reports:

No word on how the latest lapse will affect… More »

David Hasselhoff gets primary custody

David Hasselhoff drunk video

This is video of David Hasselhoff completely drunk and slurring his words at his Las Vegas home. It was taken by his 16-year-old daughter Taylor three months ago, and in it you can hear her begging him not to drink anymore or he’ll be fired from his show. David released this statement in… More »

The Hoff goes drag

I was tempted to put this picture up of David Hasselhoff dressed in drag without an explanation but I figured that’d be unfair. He’s currently appearing in a Las Vegas run of The Producers. Which explains why The Hoff is wearing a dress, but not why he has a lifesize cardboard cutout of… More »

David Hasselhoff “Secret Agent Man” music video

Time for your daily dose of the Hoff. The things this man does with his face are epic. … More »

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