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This Post Is About David Hasselhoff’s Insatiable Erection

David Hasselhoff is promoting two new projects, but all you’re going to read about here is his boner. The Internet! More »


David Hasselhoff’s New Music Video Demands Your Attention

David Hasselhoff’s new video will rekindle your love affair with the 80s or make no fucking sense because half of you were born after 1991. Get off my lawn! More »


Rich People Pretending To Be Groovy Hippies, Man

Now that we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio dancing, the continued effects of lupus on the mind, and British on Dutch foreplay, here’s the rest of the rich people pretending to be earth spirits or some stupid shit they told themselves on the jet ride over. In their defense, they only get 30-40 weeks a year to… More »



We’re Experiencing Technical Difficulties

For those of you living in the northeast, we just got buttslammed with an ice storm that’s left Photo Boy without power along with diverting the Susquehanna River into his basement. The whole river. On top of that, I’m locked out of our largest photo agency while our parent company’s in the middle of hashing… More »


I’m Sorry, David Hasselhoff, But Today Is The Day You Have To Kill Yourself

I’ll always carry this picture. In my heart…

David Hasselhoff recently found himself the target of an unsavory rumor that he once posed naked while surrounded by cheese. A rumor that probably definitely happened because the man is 86% scotch. (I hear his nude oil paintings as Ronald McDonald are the rage in… More »


David Hasselhoff Tried To Slide Across KITT While Dressed As Captain Hook. It Didn’t Work.

“Have you tried thinking about cheeseburgers, Michael?”

Because Armageddon is upon us and because we can, here’s David Hasselhoff in character as Captain Hook mounting KITT in London yesterday. Which is really all I should have to say to sell this post, but fine, you forced it out of me: These faces. Just… More »


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