David Hasselhoff


More David Hasselhoff stories

This Post Is About David Hasselhoff’s Insatiable Erection

David Hasselhoff is promoting two new projects, but all you’re going to read about here is his boner. The Internet! More »

David Hasselhoff’s New Music Video Demands Your Attention

David Hasselhoff’s new video will rekindle your love affair with the 80s or make no fucking sense because half of you were born after 1991. Get off my lawn! More »

Rich People Pretending To Be Groovy Hippies, Man

Now that we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio dancing, the continued effects of lupus on the mind, and British on Dutch foreplay, here’s the rest of the rich people pretending to be earth spirits or some stupid shit they told themselves on the jet ride over. In their defense, they only get 30-40 weeks a year to… More »

We’re Experiencing Technical Difficulties

For those of you living in the northeast, we just got buttslammed with an ice storm that’s left Photo Boy without power along with diverting the Susquehanna River into his basement. The whole river. On top of that, I’m locked out of our largest photo agency while our parent company’s in the middle of hashing… More »

I’m Sorry, David Hasselhoff, But Today Is The Day You Have To Kill Yourself

I’ll always carry this picture. In my heart…

David Hasselhoff recently found himself the target of an unsavory rumor that he once posed naked while surrounded by cheese. A rumor that probably definitely happened because the man is 86% scotch. (I hear his nude oil paintings as Ronald McDonald are the rage in… More »

David Hasselhoff Tried To Slide Across KITT While Dressed As Captain Hook. It Didn’t Work.

“Have you tried thinking about cheeseburgers, Michael?”

Because Armageddon is upon us and because we can, here’s David Hasselhoff in character as Captain Hook mounting KITT in London yesterday. Which is really all I should have to say to sell this post, but fine, you forced it out of me: These faces. Just… More »

David Hasselhoff is The Gay Matrix Now

Posted by Photo Boy

Here’s David Hasselhoff performing at something called G-A-Y London which I naturally assume is some sort of club where they hold Fantasy Football draft parties. I guess I could use someone else’s computer to actually look up this place and find out what it really is, but that would… More »

The Hoff Will Seduce You and Other News

“Cheeseburger? M’lady…”

- Selena Gomez could face the wrath of tween angst. [Popeater]

– The reasoning behind Gwyneth Paltrow’s kids’ names finally revealed. [Dlisted]

- Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz don’t trust Spanish hospitals either. [Lainey Gossip]

- Salma Hayek is still in a bikini. [Hollywood Tuna]… More »

Captain Hook Doesn’t Drive KITT…
and Other News

(Yes, that’s David Hasselhoff, and this is literally what I have to work with today.)

- Reese Witherspoon might get married again. [Popeater]

- Aretha Franklin is gonna make it. [Dlisted]

- Everyone Loves Matt Damon [Lainey Gossip]

- Denise Richards still has it. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is… More »

Kate Gosselin’s vagina is lonely

Kate Gosselin reportedly hasn’t been penetrated in almost 15 months and, even worse, it was by Jon Gosselin, according to Life & Style:

According to Stephanie Santoro — the family’s former nanny, who hooked up with Jon after his June 2009 split with Kate — Jon and Kate hadn’t gotten physical since the… More »

David Hasselhoff’s entire family has a drinking problem

Depending on where you got your gossip in my absence, David Hasselhoff was either hospitalized for a seizure or put on psychological hold for the weekend. Regardless it’s pretty much a given he drank an entire replica of KITT filled with bourbon then lost consciousness. On top of that, his ex-wife Pamela Bach managed… More »

David Hasselhoff adds pants-pissing, doctor-punching to his drunken resume

David Hasselhoff managed to drink himself into the hospital again. This time in London which is an almost superhuman feat considering those people drink 20 pints of ale for breakfast. The Sun reports:

The bender began at the weekend when the US actor joined about 400 A-listers at X Factor supremo Simon… More »

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