Posts tagged "Dakota Johnson"

Dakota Johnson’s ‘SNL’ ISIS Sketch: Just Calm The Hell Down

Dakota Johnson starred in an 'SNL' parody commercial about ISIS. The Internet didn't like it.
By: The Superficial / March 2, 2015

The 87th Annual Academy Awards

Full Disclosure: Emma Stone and Jennifer Aniston are making this gallery look way more exciting than it really is. I genuinely feel bad tricking you with it.
By: The Superficial / February 23, 2015

Dakota Johnson Stepped It Up And Other News

Amy Pascal talks Angelina Jolie and the Sony hack, LeAnn Rimes is desperate for attention, Elizabeth Warren dick punches Rand Paul, Diplo is a douche, and Keri Russel's butt is naked. Your morning links.
By: The Superficial / February 13, 2015

‘I’ve Made A Huge Mistake’ – These Two

Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are raw sexuality if raw sexuality bores you to tears and makes you wonder if two people are secretly Amish.
By: The Superficial / February 6, 2015

Dakota Johnson’s In A Bikini

Everything about the Emma Watson situation makes me want to rub magnets all over the Internet before pissing in its open ports (Wow, that was oddly specific.), so here's Dakota Johnson in a bikini which is great for you because now you can tell people you saw her butt…
By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Has A Trailer

Here's the first official trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey which is interesting only in the sense that Hollywood has officially lowered itself to making a movie that's based on a book that was originally Twilight fan-fiction until the character's names were changed and Mormon abstinence was replaced with high-business pubes-pulling…
By: The Superficial / July 24, 2014

Dakota Johnson Wants To Quit ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ Too, Now

Now that Charlie Hunnam's bailed, current Anastasia Steele Dakota Johnson, who's kind of got a young Gillian Anderson thing going on - *holds hand back from writing 'I Want To Believe' on penis* - is also thinking of jumping ship on Fifty Shades of Grey. Or "pulling tamp," as I'm now…
By: The Superficial / October 16, 2013

Charlie Hunnam Pulled Out (Get It? Like A Penis About To Ejaculate!) Of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

In case you haven't clicked on the 800 pulling out pun headlines this morning, Charlie Hunnam has dropped out of Fifty Shades of Grey which I'm sure had nothing to do with the insane online shit-fest over his casting and everything to do with the fact that he was about to…
By: The Superficial / October 14, 2013

Whoa, Dakota Johnson, We Only Met Two Days Ago, Put Your Pants Back On (I’m Kidding, Don’t)

Before Monday night, I had never heard of Dakota Johnson before. But now I know she's the actress who'll be getting her pubes pulled by Jax Teller in the Fifty Shades of Grey movie which makes this post topical and not at all a voyeuristic journey into the heart of celebrity noonerholes. I…
By: The Superficial / September 5, 2013

Here’s Your Live-Action Christian Grey, Ladies

Oh, good, he's already read the book. It seems like every week for at least the past two years, some famous movie star has been rumored to be one of the leads in Fifty Shades of Grey, the Twilight fan fiction turned erotic bestseller because your mom's into some freaky shit. But now, finally, the…
By: The Superficial / September 3, 2013