Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris’ Thoughts On Syria Brought To You By Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts

In the spirit of the day, I provided these cleavagey photos of Scarlett Johansson so you can ignore everything that’s happening here and learn not a goddamn thing from it. Just like 9/11!

Whenever Chuck Norris sits down to a keyboard and meticulously maneuvers whatever faggot alphabet it’s made of – “It starts… More »

Chuck Norris: ‘Obama Is Making The Boy Scouts Gay To Let The Russians In’

“Faggot put that hole in my head back in ’72. Keep fightin’ the good fight.”

When we last left Chuck Norris, he was busy making sure The Expendables 2 is a profanity-free film about mercenaries exploding each others dicks off with shotguns that you can take the whole family to. But now he’s… More »

When Chuck Norris Says ‘Jump,’ Sylvester Stallone Says.. Well, It’s Mostly A Lot of Mumbling

“You heard me, Stallone. A trailer full of quality thermals AND plaid button-ups… or I walk.

Yesterday, The Huffington Post linked a report where Chuck Norris claimed to have roundhouse kicked The Expendables 2 down to a PG-13 rating because apparently profanity goes against the grain of his beard though I hesitate to… More »

Chuck Norris hates people thinking he’s badass

Chuck Norris sued the publishers of a book that collects all the “mythical facts” about him from the Internet. The book The Truth about Chuck Norris was compiled by Ian Spector who started the popular website about Chuck Norris. He’s also named in the suit which was filed on Friday. The Associated PressMore »