Chuck Lorre


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Charlie Sheen Weighs In On Angus T. Jones, Blames Chuck Lorre, Of Course

“I wonder who created the universe…”
“I wonder who’s going to bury that hooker I hit with a mace…”

In a surprising display of restraint, Charlie Sheen waited almost 24 hours before inevitably weighing in on his former Two And A Half Men co-star Angus T. Jones finding Jesus and shitting allMore »

Charlie Sheen Didn’t Even Know What The Word ‘Warlock’ Meant

“You losers can’t touch me. I’M A CUISINART!”

If I haven’t made it smugly clear by now, one of my greatest pleasures is watching Charlie Sheen admit he was completely out of his mind last year during the whole #WINNING/goddesses fiasco that everyone thought was some grand performance piece and/or a legitimate act… More »

Ashton Kutcher Got a Haircut and Other News

Posted by Photo Boy

- Blue Ivy joins this prestigious list of celebrity offspring saddled with the passive-aggressive hatred their parents feel as a result of the burden of child-rearing. [theCHIVE]

– And here’s where the blessed miracle of Beyonce giving birth happened. [TMZ]

- Katy Perry is turning… More »

Charlie Sheen Responds to Ashton Kutcher Casting

“In coke-filled day, in hooker-less night, nothing shall escape my Warlock sight.”

Clearly, Charlie Sheen has only just now lodged his head out of a goddess’s catcher’s mitt of a vagina because it’s taken him over 18 hours to issue a crazy reaction to Ashton Kutcher replacing him on Two and a HalfMore »

Ashton Kutcher is Getting Paid Way Less Than Charlie Sheen

Presumably because of all the scarf-wearing, Ashton Kutcher will reportedly make considerably less than Charlie Sheen’s salary on Two and a Half Men, according to TMZ:

Sources tell TMZ, Charlie’s base pay on the show was $1.25 million an episode. We’ve learned Ashton will get more than half — more than $625,000 –… More »

Ashton Kutcher Replacing Charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’

“Remember, Desmond Hume is your constant.” Wait, wrong bearded guy.

If you’re like me, you just assumed Charlie Sheen appearing on Entourage would be the most douche-filled casting news you’d hear all week and got to work engraving the trophy. Well, put down that chisel, mon frere, for au contraire, according to TheMore »

Charlie Sheen Writes Open Letter About ‘Two and a Half Men.’ Surprise, It’s Crazy.

“Mm.. eh.. licking your lips is winning.”

With reports coming in that Two and a Half Men is most likely going to be canceled completely, Charlie Sheen felt this would be a great time to send an open letter to Chuck Lorre via TMZ gloating that’s his absence caused the show’s demise:
More »

Warner Bros: ‘Charlie Sheen is a Lying Junkie’

Speaking of delusional coke-addicts who think just saying shit makes it real, Charlie Sheen has made it a habit lately to say he’s “in discussions” to come back to Two and a Half Men. Probably because people keep walking out of his stage show, and yesterday he got greedy and asked for two blowjobs, setting… More »

Charlie Sheen Has ‘No Chance’ of Returning to ‘Two and a Half Men’

Earlier in the week, a story began circulating that CBS was looking to rehire Charlie Sheen and resume production on Two and a Half Men. The source was RadarOnline, who’s been Charlie’s PR machine since this whole ordeal began, so naturally it turned out to be bullshit. TMZ reports:

Fact is … Charlie… More »

Charlie Sheen Went On Top of a Building With a Machete

“And this, my peoples, is what I shall use to cut your childrens throats- Wait. Wrong speech. This, my peoples, is what I will use to cut the whores. There, much better.”

After being fired from Two and a Half Men yesterday, Charlie Sheen decided to go on top of the Live Nation… More »

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