Posts tagged "Cheryl Cole"

Cheryl Cole: ‘America Should Forgive Chris Brown’

Cheryl Cole is a British pop singer who’s barely relevant in America unless, like me, you’re in the tit and boob business and recognize her solely for showing up on red carpets for strange foreign movies with her tit and boobs. So naturally she’s just the person to tell us we all need to forgive…

The Superficial | May 22, 2012 - 11:06 am

Cheryl Cole’s Accent Frightens and Confuses Us

Despite appearing at the FOX Upfronts, Cheryl Cole was unceremoniously dropped from the American version of X Factor yesterday and replaced by Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls. While no official reason was given, it’s being hinted that her British accent was too thick which, of course, is a cover up for how big of…

The Superficial | May 26, 2011 - 11:03 am

Cheryl Cole: ‘Hey. Are my breasts hanging out?’

Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud celebrated her 26th birthday last night wearing a dress that apparently exists for the sole purpose of making me go “Aw, c’mon!” Seriously, if I had an archnemesis, one day he’d have me strapped to a bomb only to reveal he designed this dress. And also invented DUI laws. —…

The Superficial | July 2, 2009 - 3:11 pm