Posts tagged "Charlie Sheen"

Charlie Sheen Hospitalized For The Most Charlie Sheen of Reasons

Charlie Sheen was recently hospitalized for something he ate, and, well, I don’t want to ruin the surprise.

By: The Superficial / June 10, 2015

Charlie Sheen Is A Birther, Of Course

Charlie Sheen attacks Obama for filling out his NCAA bracket because cocaine affects the mind.

By: The Superficial / March 20, 2015

Charlie Sheen Defends Brian Williams, Isn’t Helping

Charlie Sheen wrote an open letter defending Brian Williams who’s apparently the victim of a “vile, transparent witch hunt,” according to a being of pure coke energy, so you know it’s legit.

By: The Superficial / February 12, 2015

Charlie Sheen Unloads On Kim Kardashian’s Butt

Posted by Photo Boy

I honestly don’t even want to know what type of SEO that headline satisfies. Charlie Sheen is an insane person and Kim Kardashian is a humanoid ass creature from the planet Whoranus, so they’re inexorably bound to seek and destroy one another. The battleground: Twitter. The weapons: Rants including…

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015

Charlie Sheen Has Decided Not To Marry A Porn Star

The last time I posted about Charlie Sheen he’d “allegedly” tried to stab a dentist with a knife (and maybe grabbed a hygienist’s breasts), but clearly he’s sobered up since then because he finally realized you’re not supposed to marry porn stars. Pay them for sex essentially making them hookers, but never marry them. E!

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2014

Wait. Back It Up. Charlie Sheen Goes To The Dentist?

When we last left Charlie Sheen he was drunkenly approaching random strangers in a Taco Bell drive-thru and showing them his tattoos, and now comes word that he allegedly pulled a knife on his dentist after taking nitrous oxide while high on cocaine. And, yes, I know that the real news is that Charlie Shee…

By: The Superficial / October 2, 2014

Here’s Charlie Sheen Drunk Off His Ass In A Taco Bell Drive-Thru

Charlie Sheen’s currently in the middle of a custody spat with Denise Richards which seems odd because who wouldn’t want this guy near their children? Look at how politely he stumbles over to random strangers in a Taco Bell drive thru and starts showing them his tattoos. You can’t just teach something like that out…

By: The Superficial / July 16, 2014

Lindsay Lohan Made It To 28

This right here. This is what I’m talking about. No one could survive that.

Because God looked down upon the cockroach and said, “Lo, shall you persevere against insurmountable odds and spread blowjays across the earth for all eternity as penance for your bespeckled form which is a blight upon my eyes,” Lindsay

By: The Superficial / July 2, 2014

Charlie Sheen Just Evicted Denise Richards And His Own Daughters From Their Home

When we last left Charlie Sheen, he was throwing a hissy fit over Rihanna refusing to meet him, Charlie Sheen, a man who deserves what he wants and that mentality never ends horribly for anybody. And now comes word that he’s made good on his threats to evict Denise Richards from her home after Brett

By: The Superficial / May 28, 2014

Rihanna Wouldn’t Meet Charlie Sheen’s Porn Star Fiancee, He Took It Well

Last night was Charlie Sheen’s fiance Brett Rossi’s – I’m sorry, Scottine’s. – birthday, so he took her out for a nice fancy dinner at Giorgio Baldi where Rihanna also happened to be eating. Turns out Scottine is a huge fan, so according to TMZ, Charlie sent along a request for a meet-and-greet which Rihanna…

By: The Superficial / May 22, 2014

Charlie Sheen’s Porn Star Fiancee Won’t Let Him Pay Denise Richards Child Support

A few weeks back I posted about Charlie Sheen being two months behind on Denise Richard’s child support because he just decided to stop paying it. Well, now he’s three months behind, and it turns out the reason why is because his porn star fiancee Brett Rossi is in charge of his finances now because…

By: The Superficial / April 3, 2014

Charlie Sheen Wants To Make Denise Richards Homeless Now

When we last left Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, he was thanking her for the Herculean task of caring for the two crack-babies he had with Brooke Mueller by tweeting a knife at her and calling her #Duhneese. Except now he’s moved on to not paying his court-ordered child support and kicking her out of…

By: The Superficial / March 19, 2014

Charlie Sheen Wants Everyone To Stop Calling His Porn Star Fiancee A Porn Star

This fiancee right here. (Adding… Haha! The sink’s like a dick.)

Charlie Sheen got engaged to Brett Rossi last weekend which was widely reported along with the fact that she’s a porn star. Except not anymore because Charlie Sheen’s making an honest woman out of her, and everyone knows that makes some sort…

By: The Superficial / February 25, 2014

Charlie Sheen Is Engaged To This

Because coke and money are a currency unto themselves (wait), TMZ reports Charlie Sheen is engaged to Brett Rossi, a “former” porn star if such a thing ever existed which it doesn’t. This will be Charlie’s fourth marriage, and Brett’s 800th penis to go into her for money, so I don’t need to tell you…

By: The Superficial / February 18, 2014

Charlie Sheen Responded To Ashton Kutcher

While filming Jimmy Kimmel Live! this week, Ashton Kutcher finally got tired of Charlie Sheen talking shit about him and told him to shut the fuck up on live television. A move that Charlie has surprisingly responded to with humility and class:

Ashton message received. so sorry u sounded like me! well done!

By: The Superficial / February 7, 2014

Charlie Sheen Tweeted A Knife At Denise Richards

Denise Richards brought Charlie Sheen’s twin sons from Brooke Mueller into her home and cared for them as if they were here own until Brooke made it legally impossible to get them the help they needed while Charlie pretended to give a shit by threatening the judge from inside a hooker’s vagina. Now a kind…

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2013

Charlie Sheen Accuses ‘Goddesses’ Of Taking His Money Which I Thought Was The Deal?

In an open letter to TMZ, of course, Charlie Sheen accuses two of his former “goddesses” of racking up his American Express bill behind his back. Which is amazing because I could’ve sworn these porn stars were sleeping with Charlie Sheen because of his looks, charms, and manic depressive bouts of violence. But all they…

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2013

Dear Charlie Sheen, You’re Charlie Sheen

When we last left the debacle over Charlie Sheen’s twins that Denise Richards has been raising because their mother Brooke Mueller is a crack addict and their father is Charlie Sheen, Denise was refusing to continue temporary custody of the boys unless Brooke agreed to let them receive psychiatric counseling. A fair request considering they…

By: The Superficial / November 11, 2013

Denise Richards Is Done Taking Care of Charlie Sheen & Brooke Mueller’s Demon Twins

While Brooke Mueller’s been bouncing in and out of rehab and/or jail, Denise Richards stepped up and assumed temporary care of her twins Bob and Max because Charlie Sheen fills his mansion with porn stars. Except she’s quitting this bitch because they’re dead-eyed, shit-throwing zombies who tried to murder her dogs which seems odd for…

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2013

Charlie Sheen Called Farrah Abraham A ‘Stagnant Guzzler of Douche Agua’ With ‘Tranny-Boobs’

Before I get to my Man of Steel review, here’s an open letter Charlie Sheen sent Farrah Abraham after she decided to share text messages between the two of them to the tabloids because she has a porno that was never a sex tape to sell. Anyway, this thing is literally a testament to how…

By: The Superficial / June 14, 2013
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