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Brie Larson Definitely Wants Casey Affleck To Go F*ck Himself

Brie Larson is a goddamn boss (and our children are going to be adorable). What? I didn’t say anything. More »


The Warren Beatty Old Man Troll Bonanza A.K.A. The Oscars

In which I cover the two things you need to know about the Oscars, and no, that isn’t a joke about Salma Hayek’s boobs. (Or is it? I don’t even know anymore.) More »


Casey Affleck Snubbed Sylvester Stallone? Life On Earth Has Ended

Something happened between Sylvester Stallone and Casey Affleck at the Golden Globes. That is the only fact you will find in here. More »


Joaquin Phoenix Was Faking It

With scathing reviews flying in based on the retarded assumption that I’m Still Here is a real documentary about Joaquin Phoenix losing his goddamned mind, Casey Affleck decided to admit to the New York Times what anyone with any intelligence knew a year ago when, oh I dunno, Gwyneth Paltrow and Joaquin Phoenix himself both… More »


Joaquin Phoenix not crazy or good at keeping secrets

So Joaquin Phoenix might not be one voice inside his head away from crapping on the red carpet at the Oscars. Damn. Turns out his “rap career” could just be an elaborate ruse he cooked up with Casey Affleck, according to Entertainment Weekly:

Either Phoenix is perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax (with an… More »