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Julie Andrews Didn’t Watch NBC’s ‘The Sound of Music,’ Pray For Her

Presumably because she’s a powerful witch who can see terrible events in the future – I once saw her pull a whole lamp out of a purse. A purse! – Julie Andrews did not watch NBC’s live production of The Sound of Music starring Carrie Underwood because she had a, uh, speaking engagement. Yes, speaking… More »


If You Didn’t Like Carrie Underwood In ‘The Sound of Music,’ You Need Jesus

“But, captain, I don’t understand. If your wife claims to be a bisexual, yet wedded herself to you, then what was the purpose of even mentioning said information after the fact if not for attention itself?”
“Haha! Oh, Maria.”

Carrie Underwood had been doing so well in her quest not to be… More »


The 65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

We’ve already spent way too much time on the Emmys, so here are the rest of the red carpet pics featuring such classics as Rapidly De-Aging Skylar White, an act of terrorism, Julianne Hough & The See-Through Butt, My Dick Is Huge I Can Laugh However I Want, Haha! Superman Dumped You, Bring Your ViralMore »



The 55th Annual Grammy Awards

“I was told this was filled with Boston cream, not seeing any.”

Here’s the rest of The 55th Annual Grammy Awards that doesn’t involve Katy Perry’s awesome breasts, Kat Dennings’ almost-as-awesome breasts, evidence in Rihanna’s murder or Jennifer Lopez’s dress making it look like she has huge, giant testicles. Except now I’ve completely… More »


Carrie Underwood & Hayden Panettiere Were The Only Thing Interesting About The CMAs

The Awards for Horribly Bland Pop Music With A Slight Twang For White Trash To Get Teen Pregnant To were last night, and literally the only thing interesting that happened was Carrie Underwood’s dress had one of those boob window things and Hayden Panettiere looked kinda hot. Also, Taylor Swift didn’t win a single award… More »


Carrie Underwood Supporting Gay Marriage Is Really Going Over Well

Last week Carrie Underwood shocked the shit out of people by going against the grain of her Christian persona and country roots and openly supporting gay marriage. So you’ll be surprised to learn this didn’t sit well with some of her fans who began praying for Jesus to kill her in a car accident. Via… More »



Carrie Underwood Supports Gay Marriage Now

I’ve honestly never been a big fan of Carrie Underwood. 1. I don’t like country. 2. Just before she got married a few years back, she made it a point to basically judge anyone that “lived in sin” before getting married, and 3. She never really did it for me. That said, here she is… More »


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