Posts tagged "Cannes"

Michelle Rodriguez Partied With Boner Boy Again

Michelle Rodriguez parties in a bikini with her old pal Boner Boy. They’re like two peas in a pod!

The Superficial / May 21, 2015

Natalie Portman’s Underwear Is A False Idol

You could totally see Natalie Portman’s underwear at Cannes. Like where her butt goes.

The Superficial / May 18, 2015

Blake Lively GOOPed Early

If I had to list Blake Lively’s accomplishments in order, they’d be the following:…

The Superficial / July 22, 2014

Leonardo DiCaprio Told Justin Bieber To Stay The Hell Away From Him

“Hmm. What would Jonah do…”
Leonardo DiCaprio has been picking some unfortunate places to party lately, but at least he’s had the wherewithal to tell his lessers to go fuck themselves in the face. A courtesy that he apparently extended to a shirtless Justin Bieber at Cannes. Via Uproxx:
“Justin was strutting his stuff all…

The Superficial / June 12, 2014

All Ya Bitches Gone And Made #BBare Cry

I been keepin’ my mouth shut why my boy #BBare weathers a storm only #BBare can weather ’cause Jesus been backin’ his shit up long ‘fore you bitches started droppin’ dem panties on YouTube. CHURCH. Except now y’all went and dragged a brotha down and for what? Sayin’ words that brothas say? Y’all shittin’ me?

The Superficial / June 6, 2014

Michelle Rodriguez In A Bikini With Boner Boy? Yup, It’s The Apocalypse

There’ve been rumors that Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne have broken up, but what none of those rumors mentioned is that Michelle spent the weekend hanging out with an all grow’d up Boner Boy making this the most random and incredible rebound in the history of the world. Mostly because you never see a couple…

The Superficial / May 27, 2014

Put. A. God. Damn. Shirt. On.

I’m going to be upfront with you guys. Thanks to a cold/allergies, my throat is getting dick-punched right now (Easy, Jonah Hill. Easy.), so I’m way too drained to even attempt talking like #BBare, and will probably be taking a nap by the time you read this. Fortunately, these pics make Justin Bieber look like…

The Superficial / May 21, 2014

Jessica Chastain: Your New ‘True Detective’ Lady?

According to Nerdist, Jessica Chastain has been offered the lead role in season two of True Detective, but has yet to accept, so just assume she’s making sure her character says awesome shit like, “A man’s game costs a man’s price,” and/or makes bitching beer can figures:
Recent rumors have stated series creator Nic Pizzolatto…

The Superficial / May 21, 2014

Adriana Lima, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lawrence: They All Wanna Piece O’ #BBare

Because my boy #BBare also comes in French Canadian (and Extra Crispy Ranch), the hardest, darkest rapper this side of Ontario-town took his show to Cannes where he worked his swampy magic on ALL da pussy startin’ with Jennifer Lawrence who straight up had Da Hunga Games all up in dem panties. Danity Fair:…

The Superficial / May 20, 2014

Lindsay Lohan Is Topless, Back To ‘Werk’

Because $300 extra gets you a photographic souvenir of your encounter, here’s a topless Lindsay Lohan at Cannes where according to her Instagram she’s back to werk. And if you’re wondering what the hell “werk” means, it’s pretending to read scripts when you’re really banging international clients who fly you in by private jet. It&#8217…

The Superficial / May 19, 2014

Jesus Christ Legs, Blake Lively

Here’s Blake Lively continuing to own the shit out of Cannes after being locked in a closet by Ryan Reynolds all these months. Which is why I have to violate this restraining order and rescue her now that she’s free. The judge will under- *gets tackled by PreCrime unit*

Are Those Diamond Boobs?

The Superficial / May 16, 2014

And Now For The Part Where I Completely Lose My Shit Over Blake Lively

This woman gives me a fucking boner. I don’t know how any of you have managed to live your lives without that knowledge, but let it be a testament to your fortitude and sheer grit. Unless you’re Hilary Duff, in which, case I’ve never seen Blake Lively before in my life. Baby, I can change!

The Superficial / May 15, 2014

Good God, Irina Shayk At Cannes, And Other News

- “The motherfucking badass” mom who distracted the ax-wielding terrorists in London so police could move in and shoot them in the face. [BuzzFeed]
- Leonardo DiCaprio’s already bailing on The Great Gatsby premieres. [Lainey Gossip]
- Demi Moore’s new boyfriend has beads in his dick. Uh huh. [Dlisted]
– Yesterday was Hump Day. Let…

The Superficial / May 23, 2013

Michelle Rodriguez Understands The Oscars

Apparently it’s Characters From LOST Say Whatever The Fuck They Want Day, because here’s Michelle Rodriguez explaining to Vulture why Nicole Kidman won’t win an Oscar solely for peeing on Zac Efron even though she clearly should. So right off the bat you can tell this was a sober conversation:
As for those outrageous Paperboy…

The Superficial / May 30, 2012

Why I Wanted Reese Witherspoon Pregnant So Bad And Other News

- Hot girls in the middle of nowhere. [theCHIVE]
- Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher might be getting back together. [Lainey Gossip]
– While Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want you to think they are so you’ll buy tickets to their show. [Dlisted]
- 51 Reasons Why Supermodels Were Better In The ’90s [BuzzFeed]

The Superficial / May 29, 2012

Kanye West Debuted A Movie At Cannes. In Theory.

You may have noticed Kanye West and Kim Kardashian all over the place at Cannes which of course turned out to be a giant publicity grab (See how empty they are inside?) for his short film “experience” Cruel Summer that debuted last night. Though not so much as part of the festival as part of…

The Superficial / May 25, 2012

Kim Kardashian Is Gonna Love ‘The Paperboy’

Incontinence got you down?
When I found out Zac Efron and Nicole Kidman were starring in a movie called The Paperboy, I honestly just assumed it was an adaptation of the classic arcade game because Hollywood is straight the fuck out of ideas. Turns out it’s actually some sort of murder-mystery dealie set in the…

The Superficial / May 24, 2012

And Now For The Part of Cannes Where Michelle Rodriguez Wears A Bikini And Jumps Off Things

Here’s Michelle Rodriguez at Eden Roc where she stays every year for Cannes because she’s a bisexual spider-monkey who constantly dives off shit. Also, they let her jump on top of cars as they pull up so people can feed her grapes through a cracked window. “Ha, look, honey, she’s grabbing your tit. We loved…

The Superficial / May 23, 2012

Hey! Take Yo’ Gotdamn Shoes Off Before You Get On Diddy’s Boat

You and I live boring, conventional lives where getting invited over to someone’s house and being asked to remove our shoes is generally accepted because we all know shampooing carpets takes fucking forever. Also, shoes are violent oppressors whose shackles I’ve long since escaped, you toesy-restricting bastards. Anyway, when someone like Diddy throws a lavish…

The Superficial / May 23, 2012
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