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Good Morning, Boobs Fighting AIDS, And Other News

Mariah Carey has never been more Mariah Carey-er. [Lainey Gossip]

Dax Shepard’s secret vasectomy. [Dlisted]

The Hoff spent all his money on booze and cheeseburgers. [TMZ]

Trump called a former Miss Universe “Miss Piggy.” [Newser]

Your morning links. …

Mike Redmond |

Bella Hadid Is Owning Cannes

Bella Hadid is somehow at Cannes and straight owning that shit.

Mike Redmond |

Good Morning, Heidi Klum Bikini Photos, And Other News

Tom Cruise made pissy phone calls about Preacher. [Lainey Gossip]

Robert DeNiro would scissor Jennifer Lawrence. [Dlisted]

No, Chris, your neighbors hate you because you’re an asshole. [TMZ]

Chrissy Teigen vs. Charlotte McKinney [Egotastic]

Your morning links. …

Mike Redmond |

Blake Lively Can Say All The Stupid Shit About Woody Allen She Wants

Blake Lively is the hottest pregnant woman alive. Until Hilary Duff calls me back and we buy a basal thermometer.

Mike Redmond |

Good Morning, Kendall Jenner Bikini Photos, And Other News

Soko isn’t getting dumped by Kristen Stewart quietly. [Lainey Gossip]

Russell Brand is really going to be a dad. [Dlisted]

Britney Spears and K-Fed seem a little too close. [TMZ]

Heidi Klum goes commando. [Egotastic]

Your morning links. …

Mike Redmond |

Woody Allen Jokes Hurt Blake Lively’s Feelings, You Guys

Being in a Woody Allen movie is really working out great for Blake Lively. Couldn’t be better.

Mike Redmond |

Michelle Rodriguez Partied With Boner Boy Again

Michelle Rodriguez parties in a bikini with her old pal Boner Boy. They’re like two peas in a pod!

Mike Redmond |

Natalie Portman’s Underwear Is A False Idol

You could totally see Natalie Portman’s underwear at Cannes. Like where her butt goes.

Mike Redmond |

Blake Lively GOOPed Early

If I had to list Blake Lively’s accomplishments in order, they’d be the following: …

Mike Redmond |

Leonardo DiCaprio Told Justin Bieber To Stay The Hell Away From Him

“Hmm. What would Jonah do…”

Leonardo DiCaprio has been picking some unfortunate places to party lately, but at least he’s had the wherewithal to tell his lessers to go fuck themselves in the face. A courtesy that he apparently extended to a shirtless Justin Bieber at Cannes. Via Uproxx:

“Justin was…

Mike Redmond |

All Ya Bitches Gone And Made #BBare Cry

I been keepin’ my mouth shut why my boy #BBare weathers a storm only #BBare can weather ’cause Jesus been backin’ his shit up long ‘fore you bitches started droppin’ dem panties on YouTube. CHURCH. Except now y’all went and dragged a brotha down and for what? Sayin’ words that brothas say? Y’all shittin’ me?

Mike Redmond |

Michelle Rodriguez In A Bikini With Boner Boy? Yup, It’s The Apocalypse

There’ve been rumors that Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne have broken up, but what none of those rumors mentioned is that Michelle spent the weekend hanging out with an all grow’d up Boner Boy making this the most random and incredible rebound in the history of the world. Mostly because you never see a couple…

Mike Redmond |

Put. A. God. Damn. Shirt. On.

I’m going to be upfront with you guys. Thanks to a cold/allergies, my throat is getting dick-punched right now (Easy, Jonah Hill. Easy.), so I’m way too drained to even attempt talking like #BBare, and will probably be taking a nap by the time you read this. Fortunately, these pics make Justin Bieber look like…

Mike Redmond |

Jessica Chastain: Your New ‘True Detective’ Lady?

According to Nerdist, Jessica Chastain has been offered the lead role in season two of True Detective, but has yet to accept, so just assume she’s making sure her character says awesome shit like, “A man’s game costs a man’s price,” and/or makes bitching beer can figures:

Recent rumors have stated series creator…

Mike Redmond |

Adriana Lima, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lawrence: They All Wanna Piece O’ #BBare

Because my boy #BBare also comes in French Canadian (and Extra Crispy Ranch), the hardest, darkest rapper this side of Ontario-town took his show to Cannes where he worked his swampy magic on ALL da pussy startin’ with Jennifer Lawrence who straight up had Da Hunga Games all up in dem panties. Danity Fair:

Mike Redmond |

Lindsay Lohan Is Topless, Back To ‘Werk’

Because $300 extra gets you a photographic souvenir of your encounter, here’s a topless Lindsay Lohan at Cannes where according to her Instagram she’s back to werk. And if you’re wondering what the hell “werk” means, it’s pretending to read scripts when you’re really banging international clients who fly you in by private jet. It’s…

Mike Redmond |

Jesus Christ Legs, Blake Lively

Here’s Blake Lively continuing to own the shit out of Cannes after being locked in a closet by Ryan Reynolds all these months. Which is why I have to violate this restraining order and rescue her now that she’s free. The judge will under- *gets tackled by PreCrime unit*

Photos: Fame/Flynet,

Mike Redmond |
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