Posts tagged "Candice Swanepoel"

The 2015 MET Gala

The 2015 MET Gala featuring Rihanna’s ginormous dress, Miley Cyrus’ pelvis, Kendall Jenner’s sideboob, and whatever the fuck’s on Sarah Jessica Parker’s head.

The Superficial / May 5, 2015

The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Now that we’ve seen Taylor Swift serenading a woman’s butt and Chris Hansen’s greatest sting yet, here’s the rest of The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring models I didn’t have time to label, so it’s on you to remember what their names are. They have feelings, you bastard!

The Superficial / December 3, 2014

Candice Swanepoel Is Topless

Here’s Candice Swanepoel posing topless in Hawaii, and I’ve already written – *counts* – 13 more words than I needed to write. Make that 23. See you in the morning. (28)
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Photos: FameFlynet/AKM-GSI

The Superficial / October 5, 2014

A Moment For Candice Swanepoel’s Butt

I’ve got another post coming up where some asshole not only defends Adrian Peterson, but openly considers using a switch on his child. So before we all feel really dark inside from churning up repressed childhood memories, here’s Candice Swanepoel’s butt whose dimples have never beaten a child. Trust me, I have cameras everywhere. I…

The Superficial / September 17, 2014

Michael Bay Should Only Do This, Nothing But This

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might be a childhood-raping CGI abortion that already made enough money to greenlight a sequel because you people are the fucking devil except here’s Michael Bay proving he still serves a purpose in this world and that purpose is Victoria’s Secret commercials. Sure, any idiot can point a camera at hot

The Superficial / August 11, 2014

The Maxim’s Hot 100 Women of 2014 Celebration

Feedly is literally being held for ransom via DDoS attack, so I’m having a hell of morning because that’s where I get most of my shit. Fortunately, The Maxim’s Hot 100 Women Celebration was last night, so here’s that plus a bonus gallery of Candice Swanpoel looking fucking fantastic yesterday while I scrounge for post…

The Superficial / June 11, 2014

Candice Swanepoel’s Ass Will Make It All Better

I just dropped the most horrible news you’ll ever hear in your life into your lap, so to make up for that here are 25 shots of Candice Swanepoel’s spectacular ass in a bikini. Think of me as a drill sergeant who breaks you apart only to rebuild you again except without any clear, discernible…

The Superficial / March 3, 2014

Good Goddamn Morning, Candice Swanepoel, And Other News

- Jennifer Lawrence is still banging the kid from About A Boy. Goddammit. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kris Jenner got shitfaced at Kanye’s concert. [Dlisted]
- Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie [theCHIVE]
– Apparently Rumer Willis looks hot.. ish if you turn the resolution down to -1. [Fishwrapper]
- Taylor Swift has looked way…

The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Candice Swanepoel Won The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

In Scientology, anyone who undermines the teachings of the church is referred to as a Suppressive Person who must be excommunicated because they’re also Hitler. Which seems like a silly practice from a silly religion, except it’s probably not a bad idea for how you should treat anyone who tries to say the Victoria’s Secret

The Superficial / November 14, 2013

Taylor Swift Performed At The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? The Taylor Swift?

If I had to choose the prudest person in the world to perform at The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it’d be Taylor Swift followed by a nun in a chastity belt at a distant second. That said, Taylor does have an incredible body that I’ll never have sex with in a thousand years which wa…

The Superficial / November 14, 2013

Good Morning, Candice Swanepoel, And Other News

- Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair. Everyone freak out! [Lainey Gossip]
- Taylor Swift is stealing Laura Bush’s clothes now. [Dlisted]
– Good God, Jordan Carver… [theCHIVE]
- Jon and Kate Gosselin are having some sort of public spat again. [Fishwrapper]
- Naya Rivera is way hotter than Lea Michele, yet I never hear about…

The Superficial / November 7, 2013

Michael Bay Got Attacked By Triads In Hong Kong

“Dude, dude, check it out. I’m with a hot chick, and the kind black dudes like. That’s funny!”
While filming Transformers: Age of Extinction in Hong Kong this morning, Michael Bay suddenly found himself being exactly right that time he said all Chinese people know karate because two of them started kicking him in the…

The Superficial / October 17, 2013

Good Sweet Goddamn Morning, Candice Swanepoel In A Bikini, And Other News

- Chris Pine really is Captain Kirk. [Lainey Gossip]
- Chris Brown could go to prison for allegedly hitting a woman with his car then leaving the scene, and no, not Rihanna this time. [Dlisted]
- Girls With Future Back Problems are an America worth dying for. [theCHIVE]
- Mariah Carey’s breast almost gave your…

The Superficial / May 28, 2013

Good Morning, Candice Swanepoel, And Other News

- Ryan Gosling got Dr. Who to shave his head. His powers know no bounds. [Lainey Gossip]
– Hey, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are stagin’ a photo op here! [Dlisted]
– Girls have squishy parts. In case you were curious. [theCHIVE]
- Bryan Singer really likes tweeting X-Men set photos. [tooFab]
- RIP, Dr.

The Superficial / May 14, 2013

It’s Michael Bay’s New Victoria’s Secret Commercial

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Michael Bay should be doing absolutely nothing but making Victoria’s Secret commercials. Not so much that they’re works of genius – It’s pointing a camera at women who would look hot in a beekeeper’s suit. – but mostly so he stops doing anything else. Also, thi…

The Superficial / April 17, 2013

Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio And Karlie Kloss Are In Bikinis And Other News

- The Newly Single Chivettes are here. [theCHIVE]
- Justin Timberlake is patronizing Kanye West now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Brandi Glanville made out with Chelsea Hander’s lesbian apparently. [Dlisted]
- Snooki uses her baby for arm curls. Why not? [TooFab]
– Remember the days when Britney Spears was just a funky cool e-mailer? [BuzzFeed]

The Superficial / March 13, 2013

And Now Alessandra Ambrosio & Candice Swanepoel Posing in Lingerie For Michael Bay

Because these deserve better than getting lost in yesterday’s Grammys coverage, here’s Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel and Lars Ribeiro posing in lingerie for Michael Bay’s latest Victoria’s Secret commercial which, as much as I hate to say this, is the man’s true calling. God clearly put this man on Earth for a purpose even though…

The Superficial / February 12, 2013

Good Morning, More Candice Swanepoel In A Bikini, And Other News

- Katy Perry and John Mayer are that weird couple that wear Christmas sweaters now. [Gossip Cop]
- Katie Holmes and Blake Lively won 2012. [Lainey Gossip]
– Who the hell invented bras anyway? [theCHIVE]
– I can’t be the only one who read this and went, “Butt Sex Zone. No one’s allowed in the…

The Superficial / December 14, 2012

Here’s Candice Swanepoel In A Bikini For Some Commercial Terry Richardson Directed

Granted, she’s no Kate Upton*contemplates trashing whole post while re-examining every decision that lead to this point* – here’s Candice Swanepoel in a new video for Juicy Couture that Terry Richardson directed at Chateau Marmont because he hates being more than 50 feet from his room full of coke, a natural reaction to…

The Superficial / November 13, 2012

The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

“Aw, no Tinker Toys?” – Justin Bieber
Imagine you’re a little kid who somehow completely forgot it was Christmas and woke up one day to find your living room stuffed to the gills with presents and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what my morning’s been like minus a full hour crying in front…

The Superficial / November 8, 2012
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