Posts tagged "Bronx Mowgli"

Pete Wentz Has Sex With This. Your God Is A Lie.

Because nothing quite heals the wounds of getting dumped by your wife like plowing a Megan Fox lookalike, here’s Pete Wentz with his girlfriend Meagan Camper on Justin Bieber’s turf yesterday. Which is also a reminder that being rich not only places you above the law, but lets you have sex with women so far…

By: The Superficial / June 7, 2013

Everyone Kept Looking At Ashlee, So Jessica Simpson Tweeted Her Pregnant Gut In A Bikini

Yesterday afternoon, you couldn’t hit a celebrity site without seeing new pics of Ashlee Simpson in a bikini while on vacation with the entire Simpson clan in Hawaii, so naturally Jessica did what any pregnant sister who’s confident with her body would do in this situation: Hide inside and tweet pics of her gut i…

By: The Superficial / December 31, 2012

This Post Was About Kate Winslet Getting Married, Then This Happened

Posted by Photo Boy

Kate Winslet secretly wed something called ‘Ned Rocknroll’ earlier this month, so let’s all go ahead and assume that’s just a hairdoll made from Leonardo DiCaprio‘s beard trimmings and move on to a much more pressing matter. That pic up there. Yep, that’s Jessica Simpson‘s husband, Eric Johnson, gazing…

By: Photo Boy / December 27, 2012

And Now The Part Of Jessica Simpson’s Pregnancy We’ve All Been Waiting For

“Nobody panic, but I’m pretty sure a seam just pop- HIT THE DECK!”

Here’s Jessica Simpson with sister Ashlee and nephew Bronx Mowgli who has absolutely no idea how close he is to getting lodged between his aunt’s rapidly engorging breasts and lost forever. Which is why I’m glad a Chili’s opened u…

By: The Superficial / December 1, 2011

Jessica Simpson Isn’t Wearing Any Pants

Here’s a pantsless Jessica Simpson on a photo shoot in Beverly Hills Saturday where she apparently posed with her sister Ashlee and nephew Bronx Mowgli. Because if there’s one things children love, it’s carelessly exposed vaginas. Just ask Britney Spears’ kids provided they can stop screaming and yelling about the turkey sandwich that tried to…

By: The Superficial / May 9, 2011

Pete Wentz is a Great Dad

Call me old-fashioned, but I’m pretty sure you’re never supposed to carry a child by the butthole. I understand Pete Wentz has a coffee in one hand, but is gripping Bronx Mowgli by the ass-cheek really the best way to transport a toddler across the street? Because that just seems like a warning sign to…

By: The Superficial / February 1, 2011

Ashlee Simpson shows off the Bronx Mowgli

Here’s Ashlee Simpson carrying Bronx Mowgli in New York City, and before everyone gets bent out of shape, I would never make fun of an innocent baby. But I would suggest one immediately hijacks a car and flees to Mexico. It’s either swine flu or being raised by Pete Wentz, kid, and only one come…

By: The Superficial / April 28, 2009

Ashlee Simpson wonders when her baby will turn to the Douche Side

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were spotted flying into Heathrow and Manchester airports yesterday with baby Bronx Mowgli. I didn’t know you could catch connecting flights into obscurity, but apparently these two pulled it off. Kudos.

Photos: Flynet

By: The Superficial / March 5, 2009

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz unveil Bronx Mowgli

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz unveiled their future axe-murder Bronx Mowgli Wentz in a holiday card on their website Friends or Enemies.com. This only further proves my theory that Ashlee Simpson is dead. I mean, talk about classic textbook murder. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times:

Boy…

By: The Superficial / December 28, 2008

Pete Wentz: We’re not going to ‘pimp out the baby’

Pete Wentz is shooting down rumors that he and Ashlee Simpson will be selling baby photos of Bronx Mowgli to the highest bidder. On his blog A Homeboy’s Life, Pete discusses their rationale for not selling photos before slipping into the usual “God, it’s so tough being famous” diatribe:

About baby pics gossip: truth…

By: The Superficial / December 12, 2008