Posts tagged "Bristol Palin"

Bristol Palin Is Pissed High School Girls Aren’t Getting Pregnant

Bristol Palin should probably sit out every conversation that isn’t, “Use condoms so you don’t end up like my dumb ass.”…

The Superficial / October 9, 2015

Bristol Palin Chimed In On Ahmed Mohamed

Bristol Palin reacted well to President Obama inviting Ahmed Mohamed to the White House. Gotcha! No, she was a real asshole about it. …

Photo Boy / September 18, 2015

Bristol Palin’s Unplanned Pregnancy Was Totally Planned Now

Bristol Palin’s pregnancy is planned now and not a disappointment despite what the liberal media says using Bristol Palin’s exact words.

The Superficial / June 29, 2015

Bristol Palin Is Pregnant Out of Wedlock. Again.

Bristol Palin is pregnant again. Abstinence-only advocate Bristol Palin.

The Superficial / June 26, 2015

The Palins Beat The Shit Out of An Entire Party

“I’ll goshdarn say it again, Moose Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.”

In Matthew 5:5 Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Later, in that same chapter, he expands on his message in verse 39: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them…

The Superficial / September 11, 2014

Sarah Palin’s Porn Double Will Be At The Republican National Convention

Sarah Palin still hasn’t been invited to the Republican National Convention, and probably won’t because she’s the kiss of death to presidential campaigns, but that doesn’t mean her fellow rich white people can’t watch her porn double Lisa Ann strip for dollar bills in accordance with the good book. Take that, Obama! Via Jezebel:

The Superficial / July 24, 2012

Bristol Palin Received Death Threats After Obama, Gay Marriage Post. Goddammit…

Probably the worst thing that could’ve happened after Bristol Palin(‘s ghost writer) wrote a hilariously hypocritical blog post criticizing Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage is an excuse for her to play the martyr, and of course, this being the Internet, she was handed that on a silver platter. Granted, comments can be faked, I’m…

The Superficial / May 15, 2012

Bristol Palin Criticizes Obama On Gay Marriage, Says Kids Need Mom And A Dad. Let That Sink In.

Yesterday, President Obama fully endorsed same-sex marriage rights which, whether it was a contrived political calculation or not, still marks an historical moment when an American president has come out in support of an extremely controversial topic that of course was immediately spun as a war on Christianity and marriage, but none of that’s a…

The Superficial / May 10, 2012

Meghan McCain Fact Checks Bristol Palin

More excerpts of Bristol Palin’s memoirs have become available and just like her chapter accusing Levi Johnston of rape, she continues the Palin family tradition of revising history because her mom’s zealot fanbase will believe anything you tell them. Via Us Magazine:
Palin writes that during her first encounter with Sen. John McCain’s daughter, she…

The Superficial / June 21, 2011

Bristol Palin is Accusing Levi Johnston of Rape

Excerpts from Bristol Palin’s memoirs have been released and surprisingly very little people are concerned with the fact that a.) someone published Bristol Palin’s memoirs and b.) she pretty much accuses Levi Johnston of raping her virginity away because that’s the only way a good, Christian-raised girl would have sex out of wedlock. Us Magazine

The Superficial / June 20, 2011

Bristol Palin Got Plastic Surgery

Bristol Palin has admitted to getting “corrective jaw surgery” in December 2010 which she not only claims isn’t plastic surgery but was a medical necessity because spewing absolute horseshit has become a new family tradition next to child birth relay races. Us Weekly reports:
“Yes,” she admits, “It improved the way I look, but thi…

The Superficial / May 11, 2011

Bristol Palin to Margaret Cho: ‘Have You Met My Ghostwriter?’

Seen here demonstrating how this entire mess could’ve been avoided in the first place, Bristol Palin fired back at Margaret Cho’s claim that Sarah Palin forced her daughter to appear on Dancing With The Stars to make up for getting pregnant during the 2008 election. And by Bristol Palin I mean her mom’s ghostwriter who…

The Superficial / December 6, 2010

Sarah Palin ‘Forced’ Bristol To Do DWTS

Keeping in mind the source of this information is second-hand hearsay via Margaret Cho’s blog, which is probably still more reliable than the Britney Spears recording going around, Bristol Palin was apparently forced to do Dancing With The Stars to make up for costing Sarah Palin the 2008 election by getting pregnant:
I heard from…

The Superficial / December 1, 2010

Bristol Palin: ‘Prayer Got Me Through Dancing With The Stars’

“Lose weight during these things? I don’t get it.”
Because getting paid buckets of cash to star on a popular reality show is an arduous affair not unlike Moses crossing the desert, Bristol Palin relied on the power of prayer to get her through becoming even more famous than being just the inconveniently pregnant daughter…

The Superficial / November 24, 2010

A Word on Willow Palin

No, she’s not the one with the kid. — Yet.

While her mother continued to bait idiots into thinking she’s dumb enough to run for president just to drum up publicity for her new reality show, 16-year-old Willow Palin has been under fire today for calling a classmate “faggot” and other gay slur…

The Superficial / November 17, 2010

This Has To Be a War Crime. Has To Be.

In probably the most ominous and foreboding sign of the end of days, teen mom Bristol Palin and one-man date-raping machine The Situation were apparently chosen to be the new faces of abstinence in a new PSA from The Candie’s Foundation. I can only assume Jenna Jameson was busy that day, and/or this is one…

The Superficial / November 16, 2010

Bristol Palin & Levi Johnston Are Engaged

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston apparently decided to get engaged and announce it in the pages of Us Weekly before telling her mother. Except mom has nothing to worry about because the couple is saving themselves for marriage. Not counting that baby they just had:…

The Superficial / July 14, 2010

Levi Johnston poses shirtless for GQ

Here’s Levi Johnston, the kid who knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol just in time for her vice-presidential nomination, posing shirtless for GQ with baby Tripp. While the article was an interesting read, I don’t know what to make of these photos except I’m pretty sure allowing your infant son to appear naked in a…

The Superficial / May 31, 2009

Hayden Panettiere & Bristol Palin battle teen pregnancy

Hayden Panettiere and Bristol Palin joined forces on Wednesday for National Teen Pregnancy Awareness Day in NYC sponsored by The Candies Foundation. It was an unlikely matchup considering Hayden campaigned for Obama while Bristol’s uterus sunk her mother’s entire political career. Us Magazine reports:
“It’s very nice that she’s come out to support this, and…

The Superficial / May 7, 2009

Rihanna flees to the east coast

- Rihanna hunts for apartments in New York while Chris Brown hunts for a new woman. Literally. He’s got a tranq gun. [ICYDK]
- George Clooney was apparently America’s handsomest baby. At least that’s what all seven nurses in the delivery room said after the sex. [PopSugar]
- Miss California might be stripped of her…

The Superficial / May 6, 2009
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