Bristol Palin


More Bristol Palin stories

Bristol Palin Married That Dude She Probably Cheated On

Bristol Palin and Dakota Meyer got married. Oh, good. More »

Levi Johnston Is Doing ‘Playgirl.’ Again.

Levi Johnston might pose for Playgirl. With actual penis this time. More »

Okay, So Maybe Dakota Meyer Is The Father of Bristol Palin’s Baby

Bristol Palin allegedly proved Dakota Meyer is the father of her baby. More »

Bristol Palin Lectured #OscarsSoWhite, Oh, Good

Bristol Palin took a position that screws over black people? Weird. More »

Is Dakota Meyer Baiting The Palins Into Asking For A Paternity Test?

Dakota Meyer might be trolling the Palins into admitting Bristol Palin got pregnant while cheating on her war hero fiance. More »

Moose-Knuckled: The Curious Case of Bristol Palin’s Baby Daddy

Why is Bristol Palin’s family trying to make her daugther look like she wasn’t conceived during a drunken night in Vegas on top of a penis that wasn’t her ex-fiance’s? … More »

Bristol Palin Is Pissed High School Girls Aren’t Getting Pregnant

Bristol Palin should probably sit out every conversation that isn’t, “Use condoms so you don’t end up like my dumb ass.” More »

Bristol Palin Chimed In On Ahmed Mohamed

Bristol Palin reacted well to President Obama inviting Ahmed Mohamed to the White House. Gotcha! No, she was a real asshole about it. More »

Bristol Palin’s Unplanned Pregnancy Was Totally Planned Now

Bristol Palin’s pregnancy is planned now and not a disappointment despite what the liberal media says using Bristol Palin’s exact words. More »

Bristol Palin Is Pregnant Out of Wedlock. Again.

Bristol Palin is pregnant again. Abstinence-only advocate Bristol Palin. More »

The Palins Beat The Shit Out of An Entire Party

“I’ll goshdarn say it again, Moose Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.”

In Matthew 5:5 Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Later, in that same chapter, he expands on his message in verse 39: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them… More »

Sarah Palin’s Porn Double Will Be At The Republican National Convention

Sarah Palin still hasn’t been invited to the Republican National Convention, and probably won’t because she’s the kiss of death to presidential campaigns, but that doesn’t mean her fellow rich white people can’t watch her porn double Lisa Ann strip for dollar bills in accordance with the good book. Take that, Obama! Via Jezebel:
More »

Bristol Palin Received Death Threats After Obama, Gay Marriage Post. Goddammit…

Probably the worst thing that could’ve happened after Bristol Palin(‘s ghost writer) wrote a hilariously hypocritical blog post criticizing Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage is an excuse for her to play the martyr, and of course, this being the Internet, she was handed that on a silver platter. Granted, comments can be faked, I’m… More »

Bristol Palin Criticizes Obama On Gay Marriage, Says Kids Need Mom And A Dad. Let That Sink In.

Yesterday, President Obama fully endorsed same-sex marriage rights which, whether it was a contrived political calculation or not, still marks an historical moment when an American president has come out in support of an extremely controversial topic that of course was immediately spun as a war on Christianity and marriage, but none of that’s as… More »

Meghan McCain Fact Checks Bristol Palin

More excerpts of Bristol Palin’s memoirs have become available and just like her chapter accusing Levi Johnston of rape, she continues the Palin family tradition of revising history because her mom’s zealot fanbase will believe anything you tell them. Via Us Magazine:

Palin writes that during her first encounter with Sen. John McCain’s… More »

Bristol Palin is Accusing Levi Johnston of Rape

Excerpts from Bristol Palin’s memoirs have been released and surprisingly very little people are concerned with the fact that a.) someone published Bristol Palin’s memoirs and b.) she pretty much accuses Levi Johnston of raping her virginity away because that’s the only way a good, Christian-raised girl would have sex out of wedlock. Us MagazineMore »

Bristol Palin Got Plastic Surgery

Bristol Palin has admitted to getting “corrective jaw surgery” in December 2010 which she not only claims isn’t plastic surgery but was a medical necessity because spewing absolute horseshit has become a new family tradition next to child birth relay races. Us Weekly reports:

“Yes,” she admits, “It improved the way I look,… More »

Bristol Palin to Margaret Cho: ‘Have You Met My Ghostwriter?’

Seen here demonstrating how this entire mess could’ve been avoided in the first place, Bristol Palin fired back at Margaret Cho’s claim that Sarah Palin forced her daughter to appear on Dancing With The Stars to make up for getting pregnant during the 2008 election. And by Bristol Palin I mean her mom’s ghostwriter who… More »

Sarah Palin ‘Forced’ Bristol To Do DWTS

Keeping in mind the source of this information is second-hand hearsay via Margaret Cho’s blog, which is probably still more reliable than the Britney Spears recording going around, Bristol Palin was apparently forced to do Dancing With The Stars to make up for costing Sarah Palin the 2008 election by getting pregnant:

I… More »

Bristol Palin: ‘Prayer Got Me Through Dancing With The Stars’

“Lose weight during these things? I don’t get it.”

Because getting paid buckets of cash to star on a popular reality show is an arduous affair not unlike Moses crossing the desert, Bristol Palin relied on the power of prayer to get her through becoming even more famous than being just the inconveniently… More »

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