Posts tagged "Billboard Music Awards"

Chrissy Teigen’s Breasts Hosted The Billboard Music Awards

Chrissy Teigen’s breasts hosted the Billboard Music Awards which concludes our comprehensive-as-fuck coverage if you count three posts as comprehensive, and I do.

The Superficial / May 18, 2015

Bertney’s Fancy Night Out

Bertney’s a robot. She’s a fancy pretty robot.

The Superficial / May 18, 2015

And Now Back To Kesha Said, Dr. Luke Said

I’m going to start myself off in a hole here, and see how far I can climb myself out or dig myself even deeper as I do. Kesha’s stint in rehab for an “eating disorder” has always seemed sketchy as shit. Especially when her mom checked in with her for “PTSD” which now seems eve…

The Superficial / October 16, 2014

The 2014 Billboard Music Awards

Everyone that’s anyone (Read: Blake Lively’s breasts) is at Cannes right now, but then again, timing isn’t exactly this year’s Billboard Music Awards’ strong suit. So here’s some barely interesting people on the red carpet who didn’t get their own post by surprisingly not having semen on them which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll…

The Superficial / May 19, 2014

HIDE YOUR KIDS MICHAEL JACKSON’S ALIVE!!

Just last week Michael Jackson was hit with new molestation claims, so what better time to have a hologram of him perform at last night’s Billboard Music Awards? Who wouldn’t want that in their living room?

The Superficial / May 19, 2014

Kesha Looks Remarkably Un-Kesha-Like

Originally, the title of this post was going to be, “STFU, That’s Not Kesha,” because for the most part, Kesha (The dollar sign’s where demons hide and won’t let you eat.) looked almost nothing like Kesha. But then as you progress through the gallery, the gold tooth starts taking over which is why it’s alway…

The Superficial / May 19, 2014

The Rest of The 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Here’s the rest of The 2013 Billboards Music Awards which you’ll probably notice is nothing but Jennifer Lopez, Selena Gomez, Jenny McCarthy’s breasts and Madonna’s unholy war on pants. On that note, if you’re wondering why there are way more performance shots of Jennifer Lopez than Selena Gomez, that’s because Selena didn’t jump around the…

The Superficial / May 20, 2013

Good Gawd, Taylor Swift’s Body

After spending the morning equating Ke$ha’s face with terrorism, making light of body issues and generally violating a woman’s privacy, the least I can do is put on my sensitivity hat for a minute and acknowledge that once you ignore every single thing that defines her as a human being, Taylor Swift is not only…

The Superficial / May 20, 2013

Christina Aguilera Didn’t Get Fat Again Yet

A few weeks ago, Christina Aguilera arrived at The Time 100 Gala looking surprisingly thinner for someone who couldn’t shut up about how comfortable she was in her skin and how her boyfriend couldn’t get enough of it. (Although, in her defense, neither could secretaries of state.) Anyway, here she is at the Billboard Music

The Superficial / May 20, 2013

Ke$ha Thinks She’s Gwyneth Paltrow

Back in April, Gwyneth Paltrow showed up to the premiere of Iron Man 3 in an insane side-butt outfit that made everyone talk about Gwyneth Paltrow because, cuntery aside, she is an attractive woman in remarkable shape. Ke$ha, on the other hand, tried to pull off a similar look at the Billboard Music Awards and…

The Superficial / May 20, 2013

Justin Bieber Got Booed At Billboard Music Awards

While accepting the Milestone Award at last night’s Billboard Music Awards, Justin Bieber was loudly booed by the audience, so just assume he put a rape-baby in all of them and paid the press to make it look their ex-boyfriends are the fathers. Or at least that’s what I’m going with because I’m a scientist…

The Superficial / May 20, 2013

Nayer Seems Like A Talented Artist And Other News

- Beyonce is definitely pregnant again. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kanye named his next album “Yeezus.” Yeezus. [Dlisted]
- Mirrors Are Like Magnets To Girls [theCHIVE]
- Vin Diesel has body issues because it’s just really, really hard in Hollywood, you guys. Okay? *wipes eyes with tissue* [tooFab]
- 9 Lindsay Lohan GIFs That Will Haunt

The Superficial / May 20, 2013

Katy Perry Didn’t Even Show Her Boobs: The 2012 Billboard Music Awards

Unless your birth name happened to be Destiny Hope Cyrus Mulletvagina Hatfield Robert E. Lee, III, you were probably pretty fucking boring to look at during last night’s Billboard Music Awards. So here’s those people anyway in the hopes that staring at still images of them will cause some sort of exciting magic to happe…

The Superficial / May 21, 2012

Miley Cyrus’ Dang Ol’ Classier and Classier, Man

Here’s Miley Cyrus at last night’s Billboard Music Awards where she apparently decided to wear nothing but a men’s blazer and a nose ring because she understands the finer subtleties and nuance of elegantly accentuating one’s ascension into womanhood. Which is why if you tilt your head ever-so-slightly, or not even try to look, you’ll…

The Superficial / May 21, 2012

The 2011 Billboard Music Awards

And here’s the rest of The 2011 Billboard Music Awards that doesn’t involve Britney Spears dancing with walking in the same general vicinity as Rihanna, or Justin Bieber dooming Selena Gomez to a life of forever hiding in the shadows or however teens describe not being able to go to the mall these days. Purgatory?

The Superficial / May 23, 2011

Rihanna Had to Perform With Britney

*sniff sniff* “Dayamn, woman…”
You know how you were young and just about to go someplace really awesome, only to have your parents make you take your little brother or sister with you? That has to be what it feels like to find out you’re performing with Britney Spears. So here’s Rihanna experiencing just that…

The Superficial / May 23, 2011

ZOMFG! JUSTIN KISSED SELENA!!!!1

In every photo like this, there is ALWAYS Keith Urban in the background, saying it all with his eyes. And a black guy.
I honestly debated whether to post Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez at The 2011 Billboard Music Awards because I don’t know how this doesn’t end with 13-year-old girls suicide-bombing Disneyland while screaming,…

The Superficial / May 23, 2011