Best of 2013


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Lindsay Lohan’s Doing A Super Bowl Commercial

Lindsay Lohan once hit a baby while behind the wheel, so who better to be the face of car insurance than a prominent drug addict who’s been arrested for DUI twice and one time with a hostage? Just don’t ask her about full tort. She’ll think you’re talking about something else, and it’s way too… More »

Rachel Bilson And That Douchebag Named Their Kid Briar Rose

Posted by Photo Boy

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen named their newborn daughter Briar Rose, but I’m still not sold on Hayden being the real father. I don’t remember anything about how whining into the uterus fertilizes the egg from that Miracle of Life video we watched in 7th grade. But I am… More »

‘Brazilian Candidate? Look At Me Topless In My Underwear!’

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan was all over the place after she tweeted then untweeted an endorsement for a Brazilian presidential candidate with ties to cocaine smuggling because of course. So what quicker way to change the subject than by posting a topless photo of yourself to Instagram? Which might work if the entire Internet hasn’t seenMore »

Miley Cyrus: ‘Noah Is My P*ssy Police’

If it seems like Miley Cyrus has been spending an awful lot of time with her 14-year-old sister Noah lately, it’s because she’s in charge of making sure Miley’s vagina is ready to be shown to as many as possible with a leotard violently wedged up in it. Haha! And you worked at Dairy Queen… More »

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Laser Off Her Freckles

Thanks to her incredible talent for agreeing to show up at charity events then not showing up once the check clears, Lindsay Lohan now has the perfect combination of time and money to have every single freckle on her body removed because who needs a natural camouflage for herpes? Am I right? I’m right. Radar… More »

Rachel Bilson Is Pregnant

If you consider making the Star Wars prequels Hayden Christensen’s greatest crime against humanity, you’re still correct. However, his second greatest crime is knocking up Rachel Bilson which apparently just happened, according to Us Weekly:

The Hart of Dixie actress, 32, is expecting her first child with longtime boyfriend Hayden Christensen, multiple sources… More »

You’ll Need To Know These Three Things If You’d Like To Bang Brandi Glanville This Evening

Posted by Photo Boy

Brandi Glanville may be a drunk, probably racist, stinky vagina rumor-spreading awful waste of human DNA, but when it comes to letting a stranger know the step-by-step process into her pants, she’s a straight-shooter. Via Radar Online:
She explained, “There are three rules for a booty call: One… More »

Miley Cyrus Calls Performing With Madonna ‘Super Lame’

If you somehow haven’t heard by now, Miley Cyrus performed with Madonna for MTV Unplugged because truly we bear witness to the End of Days. (Forgive me, AJ McCarron, for I know not what I do.) Except keeping with her new tradition of pissing in the face of industry vets, Miley Cyrus is already done… More »

Serious Question: Does Lupus Make You Retarded?

Selena Gomez is reportedly suffering from lupusit’s always lupus – so here she is going on a Segway ride with Justin Bieber (and here) because if there’s one person who will be sensitive to her at her darkest hour, it’s Whorebang McSyrupdawg.

“Justin, thank you so much for seeing me. I’ve… More »

The Best of The Crap We Missed 2013

For those of you who only come here for the minutes to our secret Communist Islam Obama rallies, and have no clue what the hell The Crap We Missed is, let me try to explain this in a way that doesn’t make me sound like I spend every single day looking for pictures of celebrities… More »

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