Best of 2009

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I almost forgot….

The Penis Button

Posted: 5/7/09

I know it’s 2010 already, but I honestly couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t pay respect to what was unquestionably the crowning moment of 2009: Kelly Ripa’s Penis Button. And for those of you wondering what reminded me, it was cold when I got out… More »


BEST OF 2009: The Rihanna Nudes

1. RIHANNA

Posted: 5/8/2009

When these photos hit the Internet and Rihanna stupidly confirmed them to be the real deal, they literally destroyed every single post on this countdown. To put things in perspective, you could find a remote cave in the Himalayas, ask the Sherpa inside if he saw the Rihanna… More »


BEST OF 2009: Dita Von Teese Goes Lesbian

2. DITA VON TEESE

Posted: 10/20/2009

I think the magic of these unreleased photos is that they were taken pre-Marilyn Manson. So if you’re like me, you fantasized about attaching a flux capacitor to your penis so you can travel back in time to join these ladies and, God willing, not accidentally… More »


BEST OF 2009: Milla Jovovich Naked Time

3. MILLA JOVOVICH

Posted: 9/8/2009

If these pics of Milla Jovovovich were ever removed from the Internet, the very fabric of our existence would be sucked into the resulting gap. That’s how much you guys liked looking at her vagina. Or cardboard boxes, I go back and forth.

Original: Milla JovovichMore »


BEST OF 2009: Britney Spears Topless

4. BRITNEY SPEARS

Posted: 6/7/2009

When these photos of a dirty version of “Gimme More” leaked online, I honestly didn’t think anyone would want to see Britney Spears’ bare nipples covered in magic marker because it’d be a sad reminder of how far gone her mind is.

I was wrong.

More »


BEST OF 2009: Amber Rose Topless

6. AMBER ROSE

Posted: 8/19/2009

After posting these pics of Amber Rose wandering around Miami topless, I learned something: If you slap tits on a weird chemo patient that has sex with Kanye West, people will look.

I like to believe I’m a better person because of this.

Original: AmberMore »


BEST OF 2009: Heidi Montag Gets ‘Nude’

5. HEIDI MONTAG

Posted: 8/14/2009

We’re already halfway through the Top 10 Most Visited Posts of 2009, and somehow Heidi Montag is sitting at #5. Heidi Montag. And she’s not really naked! I’m sorry, folks, but this is for your own good.

*puts Internet’s nose in Heidi’s face*

Bad, Internet. More »


BEST OF 2009: Heidi Klum Covered in Chocolate

7. HEIDI KLUM

Posted: 10/30/2009

PHOTOGRAPHER: I need a really hot photo shoot idea for Heidi Klum.
EINSTEIN’S GHOST: Cover her naked body in chocolate sauce.
PHOTOGRAPHER: …. I am so glad you haunt me.
EINSTEIN’S GHOST: E = MC-BOOYEAH!

Based on a true story.

Original: Heidi Klum is allMore »


BEST OF 2009: Megan Fox Fake Nude Pics

8. MEGAN FOX

Posted: 12/3/2009

Despite the fact these were about as real as Xenu holding the Baby Jesus on Santa’s lap, you guys flocked to these Photoshopped pics of Megan Fox that were allegedly “hacked” from her computer. Which proves that instead of using a script for Transformers 3, Dreamworks should… More »


BEST OF 2009: Joanna Krupa Nude

9. JOANNA KRUPA

Posted: 11/13/2009

Even to this day nobody really knows who or what a Joanna Krupa is, but thanks to the intrinsic beauty of Internet, that hasn’t stop anyone from wondering what her nipples look like. Somewhere there’s a powerful story of the human condition in all this. Sort of… More »


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