Posts tagged "Best of 2009"

I almost forgot….


The Penis Button
Posted: 5/7/09
I know it’s 2010 already, but I honestly couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t pay respect to what was unquestionably the crowning moment of 2009: Kelly Ripa’s Penis Button. And for those of you wondering what reminded me, it was cold when I got out of the shower…

The Superficial / January 1, 2010

BEST OF 2009: The Rihanna Nudes

1. RIHANNA
Posted: 5/8/2009
When these photos hit the Internet and Rihanna stupidly confirmed them to be the real deal, they literally destroyed every single post on this countdown. To put things in perspective, you could find a remote cave in the Himalayas, ask the Sherpa inside if he saw the Rihanna nude pics, and…

The Superficial / December 30, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Dita Von Teese Goes Lesbian

2. DITA VON TEESE
Posted: 10/20/2009
I think the magic of these unreleased photos is that they were taken pre-Marilyn Manson. So if you’re like me, you fantasized about attaching a flux capacitor to your penis so you can travel back in time to join these ladies and, God willing, not accidentally end up trying…

The Superficial / December 30, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Milla Jovovich Naked Time

3. MILLA JOVOVICH
Posted: 9/8/2009
If these pics of Milla Jovovovich were ever removed from the Internet, the very fabric of our existence would be sucked into the resulting gap. That’s how much you guys liked looking at her vagina. Or cardboard boxes, I go back and forth.
Original: Milla Jovovich is totally nude
Photos:…

The Superficial / December 30, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Britney Spears Topless

4. BRITNEY SPEARS
Posted: 6/7/2009
When these photos of a dirty version of “Gimme More” leaked online, I honestly didn’t think anyone would want to see Britney Spears’ bare nipples covered in magic marker because it’d be a sad reminder of how far gone her mind is.
I was wrong.
Original: Britney Spears topless photos

The Superficial / December 30, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Amber Rose Topless

6. AMBER ROSE
Posted: 8/19/2009
After posting these pics of Amber Rose wandering around Miami topless, I learned something: If you slap tits on a weird chemo patient that has sex with Kanye West, people will look.
I like to believe I’m a better person because of this.
Original: Amber Rose topless with Kanye West

The Superficial / December 27, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Heidi Montag Gets ‘Nude’

5. HEIDI MONTAG
Posted: 8/14/2009
We’re already halfway through the Top 10 Most Visited Posts of 2009, and somehow Heidi Montag is sitting at #5. Heidi Montag. And she’s not really naked! I’m sorry, folks, but this is for your own good.
*puts Internet’s nose in Heidi’s face*
Bad, Internet. Bad. No.
Original: Heidi Montag

The Superficial / December 27, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Heidi Klum Covered in Chocolate

7. HEIDI KLUM
Posted: 10/30/2009
PHOTOGRAPHER: I need a really hot photo shoot idea for Heidi Klum.
EINSTEIN’S GHOST: Cover her naked body in chocolate sauce.
PHOTOGRAPHER: …. I am so glad you haunt me.
EINSTEIN’S GHOST: E = MC-BOOYEAH!
Based on a true story.
Original: Heidi Klum is all kinds of nude
Photos: Rankin…

The Superficial / December 27, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Megan Fox Fake Nude Pics

8. MEGAN FOX
Posted: 12/3/2009
Despite the fact these were about as real as Xenu holding the Baby Jesus on Santa’s lap, you guys flocked to these Photoshopped pics of Megan Fox that were allegedly “hacked” from her computer. Which proves that instead of using a script for Transformers 3, Dreamworks should pay me $1…

The Superficial / December 27, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Joanna Krupa Nude

9. JOANNA KRUPA
Posted: 11/13/2009
Even to this day nobody really knows who or what a Joanna Krupa is, but thanks to the intrinsic beauty of Internet, that hasn’t stop anyone from wondering what her nipples look like. Somewhere there’s a powerful story of the human condition in all this. Sort of like the ending…

The Superficial / December 27, 2009

BEST OF 2009: Elin Woods in a Bikini

10. ELIN NORDEGREN WOODS
Posted: 12/2/2009
These pics have barely been on the site for a month, but thanks to Elin’s Viking Blood becoming enraged by The Wandering Tiger Cock, they almost immediately cracked their way into the year’s Top 10 Most Visited Posts. It’s like people have never seen a mail-order bride before.
Original:

The Superficial / December 27, 2009