Posts tagged "Benjamin Millepied"

Val Kilmer Has A Great Pitch For ‘Heat 2′:
‘So Remember Natalie Portman? I Bang Her’

It’s been a weird week, so here’s a weird, yet awesome, story about Val Kilmer telling Larry King his pitch for Heat 2 which conveniently involves his character banging Natalie Portman. But not in a sexual way! It’s only to piss off Al Pacino. Via The Wrap:

“Here’s my pitch,” Kilmer said. “You…

By: The Superficial / June 27, 2013

Here’s Why You Saw Natalie Portman Looking Crazy Hot At The Texas/Baylor Game

If you caught the Texas/Baylor game Saturday, you probably found yourself wondering, “Why am I looking at super-stacked Natalie Portman with blonde hair blocking Mama June’s vagina?” Turns out she was in town filming that new Terrence Malick movie where she’s Sookie Stackhouse. And just to keep this post educational, not only did her breast…

By: The Superficial / October 23, 2012

Natalie Portman Married That French Dude

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present to you, Monsieur and Madame Snooty Von Thousand Feet.”

So Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied are married for real now even though we now know in this post-Kristen Stewart’s a tramp world that Darren Aronofsky is the real father of Natalie’s baby. Or George

By: The Superficial / August 6, 2012

Laurie From ‘That 70s Show’ Says She Was Framed

After being arrested for spousal abuse over the weekend, That 70s Show actress Lisa Robin Kelly is now claiming she was set up by her male roommate who beat the shit out of himself just to get her arrested, so have I mentioned these people are drug addicts? These people are drug addicts. TMZ reports:…

By: The Superficial / April 4, 2012

Natalie Portman (Might Have) Secretly Married Benjamin Millepied

Posted by Photo Boy

Natalie Portman is notoriously secretive of her private life which is exactly why when she decided to marry The Lord of The Sissy Dance, she told no one. That is, of course, until she knew she’d be on television with a billion eyes shatting their sockets at what appeared…

By: Photo Boy / February 28, 2012

The 84th Annual Academy Awards

“Yes, I know it’s aimed at my penis. That’s why I made her wear it there.”

Here’s the rest of the Oscars red carpet photos plus Brooklyn Decker who wasn’t technically at the Oscars but her breasts are huge, so close enough. Think of this post as honoring the splendor of the Academy…

By: The Superficial / February 27, 2012

We Are Now Worthy To Know The Name of Natalie Portman’s Son

“And then I had this horrible dream where your effete ass knocked me up. It was so real!”

Natalie Portman’s son was born almost a month ago, yet his name hasn’t been announced until now. Possibly because of Jewish custom which doesn’t sound sexy, so let’s assume Benjamin Millepied threw his crepes o…

By: The Superficial / July 6, 2011

Natalie Portman Birthed This Guy’s Son

“Bonjour, bitches!”

To the anguish of nerds the world over, Natalie Portman has given birth to Benjamin Millepied’s son, according to People. And exactly as you’d expect from a Jewish vegan actress and French ballet divo, they’ve chosen not to reveal the name of their progeny, so just assume it’s something really pretentiou…

By: The Superficial / June 14, 2011

Your Puny Questions are Beneath Benjamin Millepied: Prince of Dance!

I’m just now catching wind of this because, despite popular belief, I don’t aggressively follow the ballet circuit – More like quasi-obsessively – but apparently Benjamin Millepied, the father of Natalie Portman’s unborn baby, received a “Medal of Honor” from NYU’s La Maison Francaise and acted almost exactly how you picture Benjamin Millipied acting i…

By: The Superficial / May 11, 2011

Mike Huckabee: ‘Natalie Portman is Ruining America’

Mike Huckabee is most likely going to be one of the major candidates vying to run for president on the Republican ticket, so it’s good to know where he stands on serious issues facing Americans today. Issues like jobs, the economy and most importantly, what 29-year-old Natalie Portman and her fiance are doing with with…

By: The Superficial / March 4, 2011

Natalie Portman Has That Motherly Glow

Here’s Natalie Portman bursting out of an office building with a face full of murder yesterday while Benjamin Millipied takes his sweet old time behind her. This guy seems a little too aloof for a balding ballet instructor who got a chance to bang Natalie Portman, only to do it all wrong by ejaculating into…

By: The Superficial / February 11, 2011

Millepied, Benjamin Millepied…

And now back to the Golden Globes.

Not that I’m trying to go all Sarah Palin on you – *quickly erases crosshairs* – but here’s a quick look at the man who thought knocking up Natalie Portman would be an awesome idea. His name? Benjamin Millepied, which is only slightly less ridiculous tha…

By: The Superficial / January 17, 2011

Natalie Portman is Pregnant, Engaged Now

Apparently Natalie Portman did more than just have lesbian sex with Mila Kunis while working on Black Swan. She also had heterosexual sex with choreographer Benjamin Millepied who thanked her by putting a baby in her uterus and now they’re engaged, according to People. This makes these shots of her in a medieval thong all…

By: The Superficial / December 27, 2010