Benicio Del Toro

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Lindsay Lohan’s Client List Just Got Bigger

Last week, In Touch published a handwritten list of celebrities that Lindsay Lohan had sex with because she’s broke and will do anything for money. Except part of the list was blurred out for reasons that can now be described as milking the fuck out of this thing because here’s the next batch:

Mike Redmond | March 19, 2014 - 1:50 pm

This Is Why You Never Drink Around Tom Cruise

“Xenu.. mindbeams.. mindbeams in my butt.. Xenu.. Tom Berenger.. sell my dad’s company.. Xenu.. Ohmygod, that woman’s MELTING.. Xenu.. buttrays.. Xenu.. No, I don’t want a handjob, handsome midget.. Xenu.. Xenu.. E-meter? More like butt-meter! AHAHA! Xenu.. Nah, I’ll take the Marion Cotillard train home.. Xenu..”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News,

Mike Redmond | September 20, 2012 - 11:49 am

Hey! Take Yo’ Gotdamn Shoes Off Before You Get On Diddy’s Boat

You and I live boring, conventional lives where getting invited over to someone’s house and being asked to remove our shoes is generally accepted because we all know shampooing carpets takes fucking forever. Also, shoes are violent oppressors whose shackles I’ve long since escaped, you toesy-restricting bastards. Anyway, when someone like Diddy throws a lavish…

Mike Redmond | May 23, 2012 - 2:50 pm