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Romance Is Dead: Chavril Kroegavine Broke Up

Our long national musical nightmare is over. More »


There Is.. Another.. Fappening

NOTE: This is not a leaked photo of Kim Kardashian. This is the shit she gives away for free.

The last time I covered The Fappening our servers broke for two weeks, so if it’s Monday morning and there’s nothing but a crater where the site once was, avenge me. Now that that… More »


Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Headed For Divorce

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger already shat in our ears musically, so what other purpose could their marriage possibly serve after that? It did what Satan intended it to do, and now it’s time for her to fuck some other shitty band from my freshman year of college. Us Weekly reports:

“It’s over,” More »


Avril Lavigne’s In A Bikini

So far today we’ve had posts about Batman, Gambit and Jabba The Racist Hutt, but only one about bikini photos. So here’s Avril Lavigne in Cancun where she doesn’t run around honking her best friend’s giant breasts which makes me wonder why I even posted them in the first place. This isn’t even news!
More »


Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Birthed Their Shitty Music Voltron

Shortly after Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger got married, they threatened to release a duet that would effectively combine both of their shitty Canadian sounds into a bro-rock ballad which, after the advent of Justin Bieber, seems like more than enough grounds to start drone-striking hockey stadiums. And now that day is at hand because… More »


Put Your Tongue Back In Your Mouth, Avril Lavigne, You’re 29

So here’s Avril Lavigne trying to be Miley Cyrus who’s trying to be Rihanna. Which probably explains why Avril’s a zombie for as it is written, “And in these times shall the dead walk upon the earth as the angels pour out bowls or something. Also, great prostitutes.” (Nailed it.)

Photos: ROLO/AKM-GSIMore »


Avril Lavigne & Winnie Cooper Are Making Out

A few weeks ago we posted pics of Danica McKellar on the set of Avril Lavigne’s video for “Rock N Roll” which you can watch above and apparently features the two of them making out in a car. I’m sure there’s some other stuff in it, but that would require me to watch an Avril… More »


There Has Not Been Enough Attention Paid To Winnie Cooper’s Ass And That Is A Crime

Here’s Winnie Cooper, or Danica McKellar, whatever that means, on the set of Avril Lavigne’s new video yesterday because apparently that’s what she does now that she’s a divorcee along with dressing up in Princess Leia’s Bounty Hunter disguise because she’s an angel. An honest-to-God angel. *resumes welding angel-size birdcage* What’s more romantic: newspaper or… More »


BEST OF 2012: Avril Lavigne, Breast Inspector

Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill,More »


Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Are Engaged. Of Course, I Totally Knew That Was Gonna Happen

Unless you posses incredible journalistic skills like myself (Titty photo?), you probably had no idea that Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger of Nickelback have been secretly dating for months or that they just took a step closer to eventually birthing a Voltron of Shitty Music. People reports:

Lavigne, 27, and Kroeger, 37, first… More »


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