Avril Lavigne


More Avril Lavigne stories

Romance Is Dead: Chavril Kroegavine Broke Up

Our long national musical nightmare is over. More »

There Is.. Another.. Fappening

NOTE: This is not a leaked photo of Kim Kardashian. This is the shit she gives away for free.

The last time I covered The Fappening our servers broke for two weeks, so if it’s Monday morning and there’s nothing but a crater where the site once was, avenge me. Now that that… More »

Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Headed For Divorce

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger already shat in our ears musically, so what other purpose could their marriage possibly serve after that? It did what Satan intended it to do, and now it’s time for her to fuck some other shitty band from my freshman year of college. Us Weekly reports:

“It’s over,” More »

Avril Lavigne’s In A Bikini

So far today we’ve had posts about Batman, Gambit and Jabba The Racist Hutt, but only one about bikini photos. So here’s Avril Lavigne in Cancun where she doesn’t run around honking her best friend’s giant breasts which makes me wonder why I even posted them in the first place. This isn’t even news!
More »

Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Birthed Their Shitty Music Voltron

Shortly after Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger got married, they threatened to release a duet that would effectively combine both of their shitty Canadian sounds into a bro-rock ballad which, after the advent of Justin Bieber, seems like more than enough grounds to start drone-striking hockey stadiums. And now that day is at hand because… More »

Put Your Tongue Back In Your Mouth, Avril Lavigne, You’re 29

So here’s Avril Lavigne trying to be Miley Cyrus who’s trying to be Rihanna. Which probably explains why Avril’s a zombie for as it is written, “And in these times shall the dead walk upon the earth as the angels pour out bowls or something. Also, great prostitutes.” (Nailed it.)

Photos: ROLO/AKM-GSIMore »

Avril Lavigne & Winnie Cooper Are Making Out

A few weeks ago we posted pics of Danica McKellar on the set of Avril Lavigne’s video for “Rock N Roll” which you can watch above and apparently features the two of them making out in a car. I’m sure there’s some other stuff in it, but that would require me to watch an Avril… More »

There Has Not Been Enough Attention Paid To Winnie Cooper’s Ass And That Is A Crime

Here’s Winnie Cooper, or Danica McKellar, whatever that means, on the set of Avril Lavigne’s new video yesterday because apparently that’s what she does now that she’s a divorcee along with dressing up in Princess Leia’s Bounty Hunter disguise because she’s an angel. An honest-to-God angel. *resumes welding angel-size birdcage* What’s more romantic: newspaper or… More »

BEST OF 2012: Avril Lavigne, Breast Inspector

Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill,More »

Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Are Engaged. Of Course, I Totally Knew That Was Gonna Happen

Unless you posses incredible journalistic skills like myself (Titty photo?), you probably had no idea that Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger of Nickelback have been secretly dating for months or that they just took a step closer to eventually birthing a Voltron of Shitty Music. People reports:

Lavigne, 27, and Kroeger, 37, first… More »

BREAKING: Avril Lavigne Loves Playing With Her Friend’s Giant Breasts In A Bikini

Between everything going on with The Dark Knight Rises, Joe Paterno and Minka Kelly’s sex tape, I honestly didn’t think there was room left for any more big news to happen, yet here we are looking at Avril Lavigne repeatedly grope her friend’s giant breasts at the beach. Of course, I say giant in contrast… More »

Avril Lavigne Made Her Ex Look at This

Avril Lavigne has basically lived in a bikini since Wednesday (As evidenced here and here.) except noticeably absent from her Saint Tropez trip is Brody Jenner even though the two were just together last weekend at the MuchMusic Awards and he has no job. Which makes it even more curious that her ex-husband Deryck WhibleyMore »

Avril Lavigne in a Bikini

I’ve honestly never seen the appeal of Avril Lavigne, so you’d just assume seeing her in a bikini and rubbing her “chest” in another chick’s face might persuade me to reconsider that stance. It didn’t. So, here she is in St. Tropez yesterday where I’m almost positive she lured this boat in with a song… More »

Brody Jenner is a F-cking Idiot

Here’s privileged, life on a silver platter, socialite Brody Jenner walking around LA this weekend with an “A” shaved into his mohawk because he’s punk now thanks to Avril Lavigne’s vagina. Turns out all those times he was banging a Playmate or Kristin Cavallari, he secretly pined to find the perfect woman who combines being… More »

Lindsay Lohan and Avril Lavigne are bar-brawling now

Because debilitating alcoholism is pointless without catfights, Lindsay Lohan and Avril Lavigne are apparently arch-enemies now, according to Page Six:

An eyewitness told Page Six: “Avril was at a table with friends just over a week ago including her boyfriend, Brody Jenner, when Lindsay came over to say hi.
“But as soon as… More »

Avril Lavigne ditches Deryck Whibley

Avril Lavgine is ditching her husband Deryck Whibley of Sum 41 after three years of marriage, according to Us Weekly:

“She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on,” a source tells the new Us Weekly, adding that Lavigne, 25, forced him out of their $9.5 million,… More »

Avril Lavigne ‘too sexy’ to perform in Malaysia?

Somebody thinks Avril Lavigne is not only sexy, but “too sexy.” Really? Vampire Girl? She was set to perform in Malaysia but officials for the country think Avril’s sugary pop music is a bad influence, according to OK! Magazine:

“It is not timely. It’s not in the good spirit of our National… More »

Ashton Kutcher isn’t fooling magazine editors

Ashton Kutcher’s new show Pop Fiction has “celebrities” pulling pranks on the media. Paris Hilton pretended to be spiritual with a monk and Avril Lavigne wore a fake belly. However tabloid editors aren’t buying it and see right through the shenanigans of this assclownius supremus. Here’s some quotes from NY Daily News:

“There’s nothing… More »

Avril Lavigne is award-winning filler

Avril Lavigne attended the MTV Europe Music Awards 2007 last night in Germany. Apparently Europeans really dig her because she knocked out Justin Timberlake in the top two categories. Not only did her song “Girlfriend” win Most Addictive Track, but Avril walked away with the coveted award for Solo Artist of 2007. It’s… More »

Avril Lavigne is an amazing human being

If you can read Avril Lavigne’s latest interview with Q Magazine without wanting to head butt your monitor then you’re a stronger person than I am. Because I read this thing and all I wanted to do was start head butting monitors.

On dealing with her incredible success
“Selling 24 million… More »

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