Audrina Patridge


More Audrina Patridge stories

Adrianne Curry Is How You Cosplay, Audrina Patridge Is How You Don’t

Being a former reality star who wears sexy costumes to Comic-Con is Adrianne Curry’s turf, so I don’t know what the hell Audrina Patridge thought she was doing showing up as a beat-ass Mystique. And not just any Mystique, but the comic version of Mystique like Audrina Patrdige has any idea what that even is. More »

Rich People Pretending To Be Groovy Hippies, Man

Now that we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio dancing, the continued effects of lupus on the mind, and British on Dutch foreplay, here’s the rest of the rich people pretending to be earth spirits or some stupid shit they told themselves on the jet ride over. In their defense, they only get 30-40 weeks a year to… More »

Hey, Remember Wonk-Boobs? And Other News

- Tori Spelling has a death hole between her breasts. Everything else is just noise. [Lainey Gossip]

– If you actually believed Justin Bieber was retiring, kill yourself. He told me to tell you that. [Dlisted]

- Girls With Future Lower Back Problems Don’t Take A Holiday Break [theCHIVE]

More »

Audrina Patridge Wore A Bikini Again And Other News

- It’s Redhead Thursday. [theCHIVE]

- Jennifer Lopez got Casper Smart his own TV show. No, really. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sharon Stone apparently hates Filipinos now. [Dlisted]

– Anyone else completely forget that Jesse James’ ex was the Blink 182 girl? Also, if you’re thinking about going into porn,… More »

Audrina Patridge’s In A Bikini And Other News

- Breasts that don’t have a giant gap between them. [theCHIVE]

- Lisa Marie Presley quit Scientology, so hopefully this means more John Travolta trapping masseurs in a naked labyrinth stories. [Dlisted]

- Jennifer Lopez let her driver show his face on American Idol. [Lainey Gossip]

– We now… More »

The Wonkboobs At The AMAS and Other News

Posted by Photo Boy

– This is considered foreplay to Jennifer Lopez. [Huffington Post]

- Prince Harry just needs to play a little shirtless volleyball and he’ll be right there. [Dlisted]

– This is what it takes for something positive to be said about Channing Tatum. [Lainey Gossip]
More »

LeAnn Rimes Doesn’t Know What Abs Are

LeAnn Rimes posted the above photo on Twitter over the weekend prompting the following exchange with a fan who expressed understandable concern that her favorite country artist is dying in front of her eyes:

@AJPaterson1987: Whoa, you’re scary skinny! Sorry don’t mean to offend but that’s a lot of bones showing through skin… More »

Audrina Patridge Had a Bikini Party

“Guess what I’m not eating a single bite of. Whee!”

Here’s Audrina Patridge celebrating her 26th birthday at Wet Republic in Vegas, and does she honestly serve any other function besides standing around in a bikini, or is that way too existential a question for this post? Because I can ask more appropriate… More »

Audrina Patridge in a Bikini and Other News

- Guy Ritchie’s girlfriend is having a baby. [Popeater]

- True Blood’s Sam Trammell will see that baby and raise it one. [TooFab]

- Jennifer Aniston regurgitates the web’s greatest hits to sell Smartwater. [Dlisted]

- Daniel Craig is all about gender equality. And wearing dresses. [Lainey Gossip]
More »

Audrina Patridge’s Bongos For Bongo
(I Hate Myself.)

Because fake breasts are somehow all the rage these days, here’s Audrina Patridge in the new campaign for “Bongo,” who apparently have a massive sense of humor. Although I can’t help but feel this would have been funnier if they’d changed their name to “Yamalot Canyon.” Or “The Tittery Gap.”

Photos: Splash NewsMore »

Audrina Patridge Belongs in a Bikini

After awkwardly dry-humping your eyes with Sarah Silverman in a bathing suit earlier, it’s only fair I post someone who was (surgically) made to be in a bikini, so here’s Audrina Patridge in Bora Bora today with whoever she’s fucking this week. Granted, there’s a questionable spot between her breasts, try thinking of this whole… More »

Audrina Patridge’s Breasts Look Awesome

When properly clothed and supported.

Here’s Audrina Patridge in London last night facilitating the illusion that her breasts reside in the same area code and you can actually touch both of them during intercourse without calling a cab. It’s like the exact opposite of all that fan-fiction I wrote: … More »

Wonk-Boobs is Wasted and Other News

- Kanye West is Twittering now. Can you buy stock in Caps Lock keys? [Popeater]

- Bruce Willis is still pissy about his personal space. [Lainey Gossip]

- Adriana Lima in a bikini. [Egotastic]

- Tara Reid’s ass is a thing of beauty. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

More »

Audrina Patridge Exercises the Wonks

Because apparently this thing is a week-long event for big-titted celebutards with no future, here’s Audrina Patridge working out at the MuscleMilk Light Fitness Retreat for Women. She was recently named of People’s Hottest Bodies of 2010 which makes absolutely zero sense to me. Unless this year’s criteria was “One tuck away from Tara Reid’s… More »

Happy Memorial Day! Love, Wonk-Boobs

Now that I’ve loaded up the site with varying amounts of intentional and unintentional sexy, I bid you adieu, o ye, readers of my dick jokes. But as a parting gift, here’s three miles of tit canyon courtesy of Audrina Patridge. Maybe you can have a cookout or simply park your RV for the… More »

Audrina Patridge in a Bikini

Audrina Patridge celebrated her 25th birthday in Vegas over the weekend and the wonk-tits are really starting to freak me out. Seriously, what the hell is that? When I stare into a woman’s breasts, the last thing I want to see is Skeletor’s face looking back at me. No matter how many times I… More »

Spencer Pratt attacks Audrina’s wonk-boobs

After the entire cast of The Hills threw Heidi Montag under the bus by refuting her claims of sexual harassment, Spencer Pratt decided to lash out on Twitter at Audrina Patridge because, well, he’s got a lot of free time right now:

I would like to make it CLEAR! My wife and audrina… More »

Audrina Patridge is single

Audrina Patridge’s twenty-feet apart breasts apparently didn’t do it for Ryan Cabrera. E! News reports:

“Ryan and Audrina are definitely not together right now,” a source who was with the reality starlet this weekend tells us. “It’s still a touchy subject for her.”
Friends tell us Ms. Patridge isn’t exactly feeling too good… More »

Audrina Patridge in a Bikini

Before The Hills goes off the air and even less people know who the hell she is, Audrina Patridge cashed in by hosting a pool party at Wet Republic Saturday which is exactly what I’d be doing in her shoes. But only when I’m not confronting plastic surgeons until they agree it’s not healthy… More »

Heidi and Audrina’s breasts got cancelled

Civilization just became slightly less doomed. The Hills is going off the air after this season which essentially marks the end of Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag’s careers, if that term even applies. Sure, they could fade away for a while, focus on their acting classes and try to land legitimate roles, but that’d… More »

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