More Attack stories

The Situation’s Brother Is a Lady’s Man

And it begins…

Once these Jersey Shore kids became inevitably famous in a genre populated almost exclusively by giant-ass porn stars pretending to be normal human beings with souls, it was only a matter of time until family members riding the gravy train started making a mess of things. Which is exactly what… More »

Michael Lohan Conveniently Survives Knife Attack

On the eve of Lindsay Lohan’s 35th probation hearing (I lost count.), Michael Lohan was allegedly attacked by a knife-wielding senior citizen who not only called him in advance, but supposedly did it to keep Michael away from Lindsay today. TMZ reports:

Michael claims he was attacked outside his home in Santa Monica,… More »

Katy Perry: ‘Russell Brand Was Defending My Special Place’

Before we dive back into Lindsay Lohan’s Fucking Idiot Parade, another drug addict made the news this weekend. Russell Brand was arrested for battery at LAX on Friday after attacking a photographer near a security checkpoint. Katy Perry later took to Twitter to defend her man/push the story his attorney cooked up:

If… More »

When Adam Lambert Attacks

When you think about celebrities roughing up the paparazzi you mostly think about your Sean Penns, Tobey Maguires, or more recently, Mel Gibsons. Well, add blowjob-simulating sparkle-boys to that list because yesterday Adam Lambert surprisingly opened a can in Miami (above) which has him facing battery charges as of this morning. I guess admitting you… More »

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Looks Remorseful

In the docs she states that Floyd came into her Las Vegas home Thursday morning and awoke her by, “pulling me by my hair and throwing me on the ground in my living room and began punching me in my head.” She claims Floyd then began “dragging me on the floor and twisting my armMore »

Paris Hilton’s Boyfriend is an A-Hole

When Nathan Parada burst into Paris Hilton’s house like the benevolent angel of natural selection he was, it was just assumed her private security team handled the situation until the cops arrived. Turns out Paris is actually dating nightclub tycoon Cy Waits who was at her house and pulled a gun on the intruder which… More »

Paris Hilton Almost Got Stabbed

A double-knife wielding assailant apparently tried to make his way into Paris Hilton’s house to do the Lord’s work this morning only to discover she’s rich and can afford things like security cameras and alarms. I guess the mansion didn’t tip him off. People reports: … More »

Tila Tequila Had ‘Human Poop’ Thrown at Her. While Topless.

Because midget stripper outfits cost extra to make, Tila Tequila is continuing to milk her “attack” at The Gathering of the Juggalos for all it’s worth which is a tragedy because I’m actually starting to think these clowns are alright. Haha! They throw poop. E! News reports: … More »

Tila Tequila ‘Attacked’ By Juggalos. According to Tila Tequila.

Full Disclosure: Even though a ridiculous amount of you wrote in, I really didn’t want to cover this story because it forces me to talk about two things that should’ve never been in the same place at the same time unless someone’s testing hydrogen bombs: Tila Tequila and Juggalos, America’s saddest punchline since the South. More »

Joe Francis attacks pregnant women now. Of course.

Joe Francis is attacking women again. This time around it’s employees who were texting the media about the “bad things” he does with his company, according to RadarOnline:

After reading what was written on the phone Joe allegedly became furious. “Joe came back and physically attacked the female employee and another employee in… More »

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