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John Stamos Fired The Olsen Twins When They Were Babies

John Stamos admits he briefly had the Olsen twins fired when they were only babies which answers a lot of questions.

Mike Redmond |

The Olsen Twins Are Still Considering ‘Fuller House’

The Olsen Twins might do Fuller House after all. John Stamos should think about strapping up.

Carmen Ribecca |

The 2015 MET Gala

The 2015 MET Gala featuring Rihanna’s ginormous dress, Miley Cyrus’ pelvis, Kendall Jenner’s sideboob, and whatever the fuck’s on Sarah Jessica Parker’s head.

Mike Redmond |

John Stamos Is Marked For Death

John Stamos calls bullshit on the Olsen twins. He will PAY.

Mike Redmond |

Elizabeth Olsen Truly Is The Best Olsen

Elizabeth Olsen loves doing nude scenes? Go on…

Mike Redmond |

The Olsen Twins Might Actually Do The New Full House Show

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen might appear in the Full House reunion show Fuller House, so clearly they’ve run out of money.

Mike Redmond |

Ashley Olsen Went To John Stamos’ 50th Birthday

John Stamos celebrated his 50th birthday last night (Side Note: And is a vampire.) and invited the cast of Full House. Which usually means Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen won’t come anywhere near the place because they’re serious fashion designers who only allow the blood relatives of French dignitaries into their vaginas now. Except, surprisingly,…

Mike Redmond |

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen Named America’s Top Killer Muppet Fashion Designers

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen attended the Council of Fashion Designers of America awards last night where apparently they won the top award for best female fashion designers. More importantly, Mary-Kate dyed her hair darker, so now I know she’s the one who controls the underworld heroin cartels, and Ashley’s the one snorting all their coke…

Mike Redmond |

One Of These Olsen Twins Recently Killed Again, See If You Can Guess Which One

Two things that immediately freak me out here:

1. Is one of them actually smiling?! Jesus.
2. There was a time when these two coordinating their outfits wasn’t creepy and weird. It was called 1989.

That said, it’s nice to see Ashley (Or Mary-Kate. I’m not even going to pretend…

Mike Redmond |

Elizabeth Olsen Is Turning Into Her Sisters. Goddammit.

If you’re a heroin addict who occasionally has sex with Elizabeth Olsen, now would be a good time to stop before Michelle Williams gets left raising another baby all by herself.

What’s that? Jason Segel’s helping her out? Even worse.

Photos: Splash News

Mike Redmond |

Johnny Depp Banged An Olsen Twin, Is Gonna Die

Posted by Photo Boy

It wasn’t long ago that the world was robbed of an amazing actor at the hands of muppet vagina – Easy, Jason Segel. – so we should all be alarmed not only by my irresponsible comparison of Heath Ledger (awesome) and Johnny Depp (used to be awesome), but also…

Carmen Ribecca |

Justin Timberlake is Going To Die

Justin Timberlake can basically have sex with anyone he wants – I was about to say, “now that he’s single,” then caught myself – including Olivia Wilde and Mila Kunis, except Us Weekly would have you believe his penis fancies the soft, murderous touch of a Muppet on heroin because that happens:

Justin…

Mike Redmond |

There is.. Another.. Olsen Twin..

Or maybe just a little sister.

Because I didn’t spend my childhood watching Olsen twins movies (My Barbies weren’t going to dress themselves!), I had absolutely no idea they have a sister, Elizabeth Olsen, who’s apparently starring in two indie films currently playing at Sundance. Unlike her older sisters, Elizabeth doesn’t look like…

Mike Redmond |

Ashley Olsen surprised she didn’t end up like Britney

Looking surprisingly less Muppet-like in the September issue of Marie Claire, Ashley Olsen admits she’s surprised her child-star years didn’t turn her into a barely functional burden of the state. You know, like Britney:

“I look back at the things that we did and the clothes that we wore, and I think, Wow,…

Mike Redmond |

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen sign things

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen signed copies of their new book Influence yesterday at the Union Square Barnes & Noble in New York City yesterday. The twins had a strict set of rules for the event that basically entails them sitting at a table like mute Muppets who can’t believe they agreed to this. Here’s the…

Mike Redmond |

Olsen Twins asked to pose for Playboy

Hugh Hefner wants the Olsen twins to pose nude for Playboy. Looking at these pictures from God knows when, (Are those two ever together anymore?) I’m now thoroughly convinced that old Hugh is blind as hell. Star has the details:

After striking out when the twins turned 18, Hugh tried again, hoping they would…

Mike Redmond |

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen parodied by PETA (Hilarity not included)

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s use of fur has severely pissed off PETA. Today they launched a new website named by, I’m guessing, an 8-year-old. It’s called “Meet the Trollsen’s,” and it lays out the animal lovers hatred for the stick-figured ones:

Some say that Hairy-Kate and Trashley are guilty of offending their…

Mike Redmond |

Ashley Olsen brought in for show and tell

Lance Armstrong’s daughter brought his new girlfriend Ashley Olsen to school for show and tell. Usually kids bring in things like rocks, frogs or their dad’s porn collection. But his girlfriend? I dunno. Radar reports:

One of the part-eunuch biker’s young daughters (he has twins) had the honor of taking a more…

Mike Redmond |
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