Posts tagged "Ashley Olsen"

The Olsen Twins Are Still Considering ‘Fuller House’

The Olsen Twins might do Fuller House after all. John Stamos should think about strapping up.

By: Photo Boy / July 29, 2015

The 2015 MET Gala

The 2015 MET Gala featuring Rihanna’s ginormous dress, Miley Cyrus’ pelvis, Kendall Jenner’s sideboob, and whatever the fuck’s on Sarah Jessica Parker’s head.

By: The Superficial / May 5, 2015

John Stamos Is Marked For Death

John Stamos calls bullshit on the Olsen twins. He will PAY.

By: The Superficial / April 28, 2015

Elizabeth Olsen Truly Is The Best Olsen

Elizabeth Olsen loves doing nude scenes? Go on…

By: The Superficial / April 24, 2015

The Olsen Twins Might Actually Do The New Full House Show

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen might appear in the Full House reunion show Fuller House, so clearly they’ve run out of money.

By: The Superficial / April 21, 2015

Ashley Olsen Went To John Stamos’ 50th Birthday

John Stamos celebrated his 50th birthday last night (Side Note: And is a vampire.) and invited the cast of Full House. Which usually means Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen won’t come anywhere near the place because they’re serious fashion designers who only allow the blood relatives of French dignitaries into their vaginas now. Except, surprisingly,…

By: The Superficial / August 28, 2013

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen Named America’s Top Killer Muppet Fashion Designers

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen attended the Council of Fashion Designers of America awards last night where apparently they won the top award for best female fashion designers. More importantly, Mary-Kate dyed her hair darker, so now I know she’s the one who controls the underworld heroin cartels, and Ashley’s the one snorting all their coke…

By: The Superficial / June 5, 2012

One Of These Olsen Twins Recently Killed Again, See If You Can Guess Which One

Two things that immediately freak me out here:

1. Is one of them actually smiling?! Jesus.
2. There was a time when these two coordinating their outfits wasn’t creepy and weird. It was called 1989.

That said, it’s nice to see Ashley (Or Mary-Kate. I’m not even going to pretend…

By: The Superficial / June 1, 2012

Elizabeth Olsen Is Turning Into Her Sisters. Goddammit.

If you’re a heroin addict who occasionally has sex with Elizabeth Olsen, now would be a good time to stop before Michelle Williams gets left raising another baby all by herself.

What’s that? Jason Segel’s helping her out? Even worse.

Photos: Splash News

By: The Superficial / March 29, 2012

Johnny Depp Banged An Olsen Twin, Is Gonna Die

Posted by Photo Boy

It wasn’t long ago that the world was robbed of an amazing actor at the hands of muppet vagina – Easy, Jason Segel. – so we should all be alarmed not only by my irresponsible comparison of Heath Ledger (awesome) and Johnny Depp (used to be awesome), but also…

By: Photo Boy / March 22, 2012

Justin Timberlake is Going To Die

Justin Timberlake can basically have sex with anyone he wants – I was about to say, “now that he’s single,” then caught myself – including Olivia Wilde and Mila Kunis, except Us Weekly would have you believe his penis fancies the soft, murderous touch of a Muppet on heroin because that happens:

Justi…

By: The Superficial / June 2, 2011

There is.. Another.. Olsen Twin..

Or maybe just a little sister.

Because I didn’t spend my childhood watching Olsen twins movies (My Barbies weren’t going to dress themselves!), I had absolutely no idea they have a sister, Elizabeth Olsen, who’s apparently starring in two indie films currently playing at Sundance. Unlike her older sisters, Elizabeth doesn’t look like…

By: The Superficial / January 24, 2011

Ashley Olsen surprised she didn’t end up like Britney

Looking surprisingly less Muppet-like in the September issue of Marie Claire, Ashley Olsen admits she’s surprised her child-star years didn’t turn her into a barely functional burden of the state. You know, like Britney:

“I look back at the things that we did and the clothes that we wore, and I think, Wow,…

By: The Superficial / August 5, 2009

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen sign things

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen signed copies of their new book Influence yesterday at the Union Square Barnes & Noble in New York City yesterday. The twins had a strict set of rules for the event that basically entails them sitting at a table like mute Muppets who can’t believe they agreed to this. Here’s the…

By: The Superficial / October 29, 2008

Olsen Twins asked to pose for Playboy

Hugh Hefner wants the Olsen twins to pose nude for Playboy. Looking at these pictures from God knows when, (Are those two ever together anymore?) I’m now thoroughly convinced that old Hugh is blind as hell. Star has the details:

After striking out when the twins turned 18, Hugh tried again, hoping they would…

By: The Superficial / February 29, 2008

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen parodied by PETA (Hilarity not included)

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s use of fur has severely pissed off PETA. Today they launched a new website named by, I’m guessing, an 8-year-old. It’s called “Meet the Trollsen’s,” and it lays out the animal lovers hatred for the stick-figured ones:

Some say that Hairy-Kate and Trashley are guilty of offending their…

By: The Superficial / December 11, 2007

Ashley Olsen brought in for show and tell

Lance Armstrong’s daughter brought his new girlfriend Ashley Olsen to school for show and tell. Usually kids bring in things like rocks, frogs or their dad’s porn collection. But his girlfriend? I dunno. Radar reports:

One of the part-eunuch biker’s young daughters (he has twins) had the honor of taking a more…

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2007

Ashley Olsen dating Lance Armstrong

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:

Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they…

By: The Superficial / October 31, 2007

Ashley Olsen lands provocative role

Ashley Olsen has landed a role in “The Informers” an adaptation of the Bret Easton Ellis novel. The movie also stars Billy Bob Thornton and Kim Basinger, who, up until now, I assumed was dead. Reuters reports on the film’s premise:

Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the script follows seven stories taking…

By: The Superficial / August 30, 2007
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