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Ariana Grande’s Butt Is The Calm Before The Storm

Ariana Grande’s butt isn’t everything awful about America, so let’s stare into it for a minute.

Mike Redmond | August 27, 2015 - 10:44 am

Ariana Grande Hates America Because Donuts?

Ariana Grande licked a donut and said “I hate America.” EVERYBODY FREAK OUT!!

Carmen Ribecca | July 8, 2015 - 2:30 pm

Ariana Grande & Big Sean Broke Up

Ariana Grande and Big Sean broke up. For real this time. Maybe.

Mike Redmond | April 20, 2015 - 2:14 pm

Justin Bieber Touched Ariana Grande, Is Going To Die

Justin Bieber touched Big Sean’s girl. Shit’s about to get real if real means deleting Twitter threats like a giant pussy.

Mike Redmond | April 9, 2015 - 11:21 am

The Rest of The 57th Annual Grammy Awards

The other people at the Grammys who didn’t get their own posts. Pity them. Pity their lowly lot in life.

Mike Redmond | February 9, 2015 - 12:41 pm

Ariana Grande’s Not Single

Posted by Photo Boy

Ariana Grande is a diaper diva who literally makes people carry her around like a baby, which should make her repulsive, but she also has the body and face of a child attached to a legally intercoursable vagina, so the Internet can’t get enough of her. That’s why it…

Carmen Ribecca | January 5, 2015 - 11:00 am

So Remember When Ariana Grande’s Rep Denied She’s Carried Like A Baby?

A story broke out this week that one of Ariana Grande’s numerous diva demands is to be carried like a baby whenever her feet get too tired. Her rep denied the story and called it “fake” except Jezebel found a photo of Ariana Grande literally being carried like a baby (above) from her own Instagram

Mike Redmond | December 12, 2014 - 10:59 am

Ariana Grande Makes People Carry Her Like A Baby

Ariana Grande’s reputation for being a tiny Mariah Carey is no secret except now’s the part where the rumors of her demands have reached almost Tracy Jordan-like levels. And I believe every single one of them. Life & Style reports:

“Her new rule is that she has to be carried — literally carried…

Mike Redmond | December 11, 2014 - 11:00 am

Ariana Grande Loves ‘Big Black Balls’

While performing during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, America’s favorite eighth grader Ariana Grande apparently told Ed Sheeran that she enjoys bouncy balls which he turned into a perverted joke about giant black testicles because the British are always trying to make scrotum jokes involving children. I’ve watched your BBC, sir! Via E! News:

Mike Redmond | December 9, 2014 - 12:28 pm

Are Children’s Christmas Pageants Supposed To Be Sexy? This Seems Wrong

Is Stephen Collins the musical director? What the hell’s happening here?

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Photos: Getty, Splash News

Mike Redmond | December 8, 2014 - 2:18 pm

Toddlers & Tiaras Meets Victoria’s Secret

Here’s Ariana Grande performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show because what’s sexier than watching a singing 12-year-old in linger- *waits to get tackled by Photo Boy, realizes he’s on vacation, shrugs* – a singing 12-year-old in linger- *gets shot in the knee by Chris Hansen*

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebook

Mike Redmond | December 3, 2014 - 9:32 am

Bette Midler Told Ariana Grande Not To Whore Herself

Posted by Photo Boy

Ariana Grande looks like a child, but in reality she’s a grown woman who loves to dress like a prostitute and perform sultry dances to the terrible, terrible music she makes. To lecherous old men, this type of thing is irresistible. To idiotic young girls, it’s a career aspiration.

Carmen Ribecca | November 25, 2014 - 11:30 am

The 2014 American Music Awards

Now that we’ve seen Nakedsaurus, Rise of The Sasquatch Nip Guardians, Cry For Me, Justintina, and BUTTFORCE 9000, here’s the rest of The 2014 American Music Awards which you’ll probably notice contains a disproportionate amount of Kate Beckinsale pics even though she’s not a musical artist. Like anyone else there was. Check your privilege.

Mike Redmond | November 24, 2014 - 12:59 pm

Ariana Grande Made A New Video

Ariana Grande performed at the CMA’s last night, but I refuse to write about that on principle, so here’s her new video for “Love Me Harder” because like I said underneath Margot Robbie’s nipples, I’m trying to make this a happy day for everybody. In this case, dudes who like 21-year-old girls that look like…

Mike Redmond | November 6, 2014 - 1:30 pm

Ariana Grande Isn’t Getting Implants. I’m Sorry?

Apparently there’s a rumor going around that Ariana Grande was getting a boob job to make her boyfriend Big Sean happy despite the fact he dumped his girlfriend Naya Rivera right after she got hers. But Ariana’s reps are denying those reports which seems unnecessary because she’s 12 and everyone knows 12-year-olds can’t get breast…

Mike Redmond | October 24, 2014 - 12:37 pm

Ariana Grande’s Life Coach Quit

Seen here performing at The iHeart Radio Music Festival over the weekend, Ariana Grande is looking more and more like an out-of-control diva who hopes her fans fucking die because now comes word that her life coach quit months ago after getting tired of her shit. Page Six reports:

We’re told that the…

Mike Redmond | September 22, 2014 - 10:48 am

Everybody Hates Ariana Grande

“Oh, yeah, I like this.” – Someone with a probation officer

Earlier in the week, Ariana Grande was accused of being a 12-year-old (Shut up, that girl is 12. SHE’S 12!) pain in the ass diva in Australia which she naturally denied. Except here comes Giuliani Rancic with her own tale of dealing…

Mike Redmond | September 12, 2014 - 12:48 pm

Ariana Grande Has Demands

Ariana Grande looks like a 12-year-old Jennifer Lopez which is probably why she’s so huge on the Internet right now, but enough about the thoughts that keep me awake at night. Anyway, also like JLo, she now travels with a list of demands that has horribly been leaked because, again, how old is this kid?

Mike Redmond | September 9, 2014 - 1:29 pm

Child Hookers? Why Not? #VMAs

The media would have you believe this is singer/actress Ariana Grande, but really it’s a sophisticated Pre-Crime tool used to weed out future pedophiles before they strike by prompting an easily collected database of Internet commenters who want to have sex with its butt. I’m just doing my part to protect the children even though…

Mike Redmond | August 25, 2014 - 11:13 am
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