Posts tagged "Angelina Jolie"

Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston In The Same Place?! WE’RE GOING DOWN

Because 10 years later lazy gossip writers can still milk this dead horse for all it's worth in.. dead horse milk (nailed it), here's both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie at the Critics' Choice Awards last night effectively testing your minds' ability to process both of them in the same place …
By: The Superficial / January 16, 2015

Angelina Jolie Is A ‘Minimally Talented Spoiled Brat': The Sony Emails

I work in the media, so it's easy to forget that people actually live rich, full lives (Sometimes even outdoors. The actual outside!) where they don't obsess over the tiniest minutiae like studio infighting and how badly Aaron Sorkin wants to feel Tom Cruise shove an iPhone 6 up his ass.
By: The Superficial / December 10, 2014

ANGELINA JOLIE’S BEWBS!!!!!!!!!!!!

As advertised in the classiest headline of your life, here are Angelina Jolie's breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards where, granted, they're not a naked, Photoshopped FUPA - I'm sorry, squelchy pudendum. - I know for a fact they still have enough Internet juice in them to break something.
By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Are Married

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been together for nine years, the bulk of which they've spent as parents to six children. But what they don't have a is a legal document that makes it a gigantic pain in the ass to break up, so their love has basically been meaningless …
By: The Superficial / August 28, 2014

Brad Pitt Will ‘Stomp’ Vitalii Sediuk If He Goes For Another Lady’s Crotch

Last week, Brad Pitt was reportedly punched in the face by Ukrainian comedian Vitalii Sediuk whose schtick is usually burying his face in celebrity crotches on the red carpet. Which, according to Brad Pitt, is what actually happened until he was the one who punched. /heisenberg People …
By: The Superficial / June 3, 2014

Brad Pitt Got Punched In The Face

Vitalii Sediuk is a Ukrainian comedian who over the past few years has managed to kiss Will Smith, crash Adele's Grammy speech, bury his face in Leonardo DiCaprio's crotch and not even two weeks ago he shoved his head up Ugly Betty's dress. And so …
By: The Superficial / May 29, 2014

Angelina Jolie Just Pissed In Gwyneth Paltrow’s Organic Quinoa Cereal

Back in March, Gwyneth Paltrow complained about her plight as a working mother because one time she had to go to Wisconsin for a week and you have no idea how that hard that is. Although, in her defense, she did attempt to walk back those comments albeit while simultaneously dubbing …
By: The Superficial / May 22, 2014

Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs Are Set To ‘Promote’

Here's Angelina Jolie's new boobs at the Paris photo call for Maleficent, a movie I haven't paid much attention to because it looks a helluva lot like Snow White And The Huntsman, but without the chances of Kristen Stewart getting her …
By: The Superficial / May 7, 2014

The 86th Annual Academy Awards

I pretty much made my feelings on the Oscars known last night - Although, kudos to Rust Cohle for his work as an undercover AIDS patient. - so here are the best red carpet pics Photo Boy could find while I sat in the corner making beer can men and mumbling …
By: The Superficial / March 3, 2014

Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs Have Powerful Nipples

By the end of February, even Hollywood's sick of awards show, so here's The 2014 Independent Film Spirit Awards which happens every year the night before the Oscars. I don't know what exactly separates the two events, but I do know that Angelina Jolie showed up with her …
By: The Superficial / March 3, 2014

How Much Douche Is In Jonah Hill’s Canoe Today?

A few weeks back, Jonah Hill gave a pissy interview to Rolling Stone where he got shitty with the writer and wouldn't shut up about how he's a serious actor now and no one else has ever transitioned from comedy to drama in the history of acting before so fucking recognize. This earned …
By: The Superficial / June 26, 2013

Melissa Etheridge Doesn’t Think Angelina Jolie’s Double Mastectomy Was Brave

While most of the world fawned over Angelina Jolie's bravery for cutting off her breasts then getting nice new ones just in case she might get cancer, Melissa Etheridge has a different opinion. Although, she is a lesbian and therefore predisposed to protecting awesome titties, and so together on this hill …
By: The Superficial / June 18, 2013

It’s Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs

Angelina Jolie's aunt died of breast cancer last week, the very same disease Angelina publicly took a pre-emptive strike against by chopping off her breasts and telling everyone about it in the New York Times, so you'd just assume she'd show up to her aunt's funeral over the weekend …
By: The Superficial / June 3, 2013

Angelina Jolie’s Breasts (1995 – 2013)

In a shocking op-ed in The New York Times today, Angelina Jolie revealed she had a secret double mastectomy in February. A sensitive and emotional procedure for any woman battling cancer except Angelina Jolie doesn't have cancer, so now's the part where it's safe to go, "I'm sorry, what?" The truth is …
By: The Superficial / May 14, 2013

So Brad Pitt’s Mom’s Kind Of A Homophobe

"Dear, you're smiling like a gay." Brad Pitt has been pretty open about rejecting his strict Southern Baptist upbringing which is fortunately what happens when you abuse your parental authority, including but not limited to threats of corporal punishment and/or putting your children out on the street, to force them to swallow …
By: The Superficial / July 6, 2012

Hey, Look, It’s Angelina Jolie In Her Natural, Child-Stealing Form

Which apparently has a penis. Neat. Here's Angelina Jolie roaming the British countryside in search of wayward children to add to her glass menagerie which some people will try and tell you is simply her filming scenes for Maleficent, a retelling of Sleeping Beauty from the evil queen's perspective, which doesn't even make sense.
By: The Superficial / June 20, 2012

Jennifer Aniston’s Getting Married Now. Of Course.

Whenever anyone writes about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, there's inevitably some joke about a jilted, bitter Jennifer Aniston which is then inevitably followed by a few random people defending her and saying she's moved on with her life and couldn't care less about Brad and Angelina. So to those people, I …
By: The Superficial / April 23, 2012

Angelina Jolie Shows Off Engagement Ring, Is Dying

Here's Angelina Jolie in Hollywood yesterday flashing the now-world-famous Fuck You Jennifer Aniston Diamond, handcrafted by her majesty's must-trusted jeweler Robocop. Although, in her defense, it's kind of hard not to flaunt something that's goddamn thicker than you are. So, seriously, Angie, we all know why you gathered up those kids, so you …
By: The Superficial / April 17, 2012

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Are Engaged

So remember when Brad Pitt said he wouldn't get married to Angelina Jolie until everyone in America had the equal right to get married? Well, fuck you, queers, that shit took too long, is pretty much what they just said here. THR reports: The Beverly Hills jeweler and former CEO of …
By: The Superficial / April 13, 2012

Angelina Jolie Really Wants You To See Her Leg

The Oscars were last night, and like every year, they were a regal and boring event second only to golf. So we'll try to strafe through it as quickly as possible without making Charlie Sheen think we're his long-lost F18 soulmate that needs coke banged into next week. Anyway, here's Angelina Jolie who …
By: The Superficial / February 27, 2012
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