Angelina Jolie


More Angelina Jolie stories

Let’s Check On Angelina Jolie’s Implants

Angelina Jolie’s implants are in New York. In case you’re wondering. More »

Sex Robot To Play Lara Croft Instead Of Hot Jedi

Alicia Vikander is your new Lara Croft. More »

Angelina Jolie Graced Your Children With Her Presence

Angelina Jolie made her first public appearance in front of your kids since announcing she had her ovaries removed. More »

Angelina Jolie Removed Her Ovaries

After another cancer scare, Angelina Jolie removed her ovaries and fallopian tubes and then wrote an op-ed about it in the New York Times because as go her lady parts, so goes the world. More »

Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston In The Same Place?! WE’RE GOING DOWN

Because 10 years later lazy gossip writers can still milk this dead horse for all it’s worth in.. dead horse milk (nailed it), here’s both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night effectively testing your minds’ ability to process both of them in the same place at the same time. More »

Angelina Jolie Is A ‘Minimally Talented Spoiled Brat’: The Sony Emails

I work in the media, so it’s easy to forget that people actually live rich, full lives (Sometimes even outdoors. The actual outside!) where they don’t obsess over the tiniest minutiae like studio infighting and how badly Aaron Sorkin wants to feel Tom Cruise shove an iPhone 6 up his ass. Which brings me to… More »


As advertised in the classiest headline of your life, here are Angelina Jolie’s breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards where, granted, they’re not a naked, Photoshopped FUPA – I’m sorry, squelchy pudendum. – I know for a fact they still have enough Internet juice in them to break something. Perhaps a small Croatian cat blog. More »

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Are Married

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been together for nine years, the bulk of which they’ve spent as parents to six children. But what they don’t have a is a legal document that makes it a gigantic pain in the ass to break up, so their love has basically been meaningless horseshit if it even… More »

Brad Pitt Will ‘Stomp’ Vitalii Sediuk If He Goes For Another Lady’s Crotch

Last week, Brad Pitt was reportedly punched in the face by Ukrainian comedian Vitalii Sediuk whose schtick is usually burying his face in celebrity crotches on the red carpet. Which, according to Brad Pitt, is what actually happened until he was the one who punched. /heisenberg People reports:

“I was at the end… More »

Brad Pitt Got Punched In The Face

Vitalii Sediuk is a Ukrainian comedian who over the past few years has managed to kiss Will Smith, crash Adele’s Grammy speech, bury his face in Leonardo DiCaprio’s crotch and not even two weeks ago he shoved his head up Ugly Betty’s dress. And so for his next trick, he decided to take the more… More »

Angelina Jolie Just Pissed In Gwyneth Paltrow’s Organic Quinoa Cereal

Back in March, Gwyneth Paltrow complained about her plight as a working mother because one time she had to go to Wisconsin for a week and you have no idea how that hard that is. Although, in her defense, she did attempt to walk back those comments albeit while simultaneously dubbing herself a struggling singleMore »

Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs Are Set To ‘Promote’

Here’s Angelina Jolie’s new boobs at the Paris photo call for Maleficent, a movie I haven’t paid much attention to because it looks a helluva lot like Snow White And The Huntsman, but without the chances of Kristen Stewart getting her pussy licked by the director. You gotta do better than that, Disney. I’m a… More »

The 86th Annual Academy Awards

I pretty much made my feelings on the Oscars known last night – Although, kudos to Rust Cohle for his work as an undercover AIDS patient. – so here are the best red carpet pics Photo Boy could find while I sat in the corner making beer can men and mumbling how we’ll do this… More »

Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs Have Powerful Nipples

By the end of February, even Hollywood’s sick of awards show, so here’s The 2014 Independent Film Spirit Awards which happens every year the night before the Oscars. I don’t know what exactly separates the two events, but I do know that Angelina Jolie showed up with her new boobs and Krysten Ritter and PaulaMore »

How Much Douche Is In Jonah Hill’s Canoe Today?

A few weeks back, Jonah Hill gave a pissy interview to Rolling Stone where he got shitty with the writer and wouldn’t shut up about how he’s a serious actor now and no one else has ever transitioned from comedy to drama in the history of acting before so fucking recognize. This earned him exactly… More »

Melissa Etheridge Doesn’t Think Angelina Jolie’s Double Mastectomy Was Brave

While most of the world fawned over Angelina Jolie’s bravery for cutting off her breasts then getting nice new ones just in case she might get cancer, Melissa Etheridge has a different opinion. Although, she is a lesbian and therefore predisposed to protecting awesome titties, and so together on this hill we shall stand and… More »

It’s Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs

Angelina Jolie’s aunt died of breast cancer last week, the very same disease Angelina publicly took a pre-emptive strike against by chopping off her breasts and telling everyone about it in the New York Times, so you’d just assume she’d show up to her aunt’s funeral over the weekend because she’s so serious about breast… More »

Angelina Jolie’s Breasts (1995 – 2013)

In a shocking op-ed in The New York Times today, Angelina Jolie revealed she had a secret double mastectomy in February. A sensitive and emotional procedure for any woman battling cancer except Angelina Jolie doesn’t have cancer, so now’s the part where it’s safe to go, “I’m sorry, what?”

The truth is I… More »

So Brad Pitt’s Mom’s Kind Of A Homophobe

“Dear, you’re smiling like a gay.”

Brad Pitt has been pretty open about rejecting his strict Southern Baptist upbringing which is fortunately what happens when you abuse your parental authority, including but not limited to threats of corporal punishment and/or putting your children out on the street, to force them to swallow bullshit… More »

Hey, Look, It’s Angelina Jolie In Her Natural, Child-Stealing Form

Which apparently has a penis. Neat.

Here’s Angelina Jolie roaming the British countryside in search of wayward children to add to her glass menagerie which some people will try and tell you is simply her filming scenes for Maleficent, a retelling of Sleeping Beauty from the evil queen’s perspective, which doesn’t even make… More »

Page 1 of 14