Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Are Married
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are legally married because apparently you do need that piece of paper to keep having sex with a woman who doesn't look like Willem Dafoe.
The 2011 ESPY Awards
The 2011 ESPY Awards were last night, and some of you maybe asking yourselves, "Why is this entire gallery full of women, and not a single one an athlete?" Fortunately, I anticipated your response because I'm a powerful Jedi, and it comes down to a complex algorithm meticulously designed to preserve the structural integrity of…