Posts tagged "AMAs"

The 2014 American Music Awards

Now that we’ve seen Nakedsaurus, Rise of The Sasquatch Nip Guardians, Cry For Me, Justintina, and BUTTFORCE 9000, here’s the rest of The 2014 American Music Awards which you’ll probably notice contains a disproportionate amount of Kate Beckinsale pics even though she’s not a musical artist. Like anyone else there was. Check your privilege.
THE

The Superficial / November 24, 2014

AMAs: Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea Touched Butts

ABC explicitly warned Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea not to touch butts while performing “Booty” for the AMAs because it’s a family show. Which is funny because on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., another “family show” designed to promote Disney’s Marvel universe, I watched a man murder a woman before carving alien hieroglyphics into her corpse. The…

The Superficial / November 24, 2014

AMAs: Selena Gomez Didn’t Wear A Bra

I wasn’t joking about gunning through these, so here’s Selena Gomez at the AMAs where she wore a braless dress and cry-sang about Justin Bieber because 22-year-olds are dumb. Congratulations, you are now the foremost expert on all things Selena Gomez and may now demand the severed, gilded hands of your co-workers’ children as tribute.

The Superficial / November 24, 2014

AMAs: Kendall & Kylie Brought The ‘Squatch

Full Disclosure: I’ve got another giant-ass post to write about Bill Cosby, so I’m literally just throwing AMAs pics in your face starting with the least relevant and working my way up. Which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll ever give the Kardashians because I posted Kylie, Kendall and Khloe after Bleona Qereti and immediately…

The Superficial / November 24, 2014

AMAs: What The Hell Is A Bleona Qereti?

According to Wikipedia, Bleona Qereti is the “Madonna of Albania” and a reality TV person on Bravo’s Euros of Hollywood. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information, but let the record show that I tried to get to know a woman first before yelling, “You sure got nice bewbs!” inevitably…

The Superficial / November 24, 2014

Remember How Christina Aguilera Got Really Skinny? That’s All Over Now

Sometime around April of last year, Christina Aguilera got crazy skinny after looking perpetually pregnant for most of 2012 and almost ruining The Voice in the process. Except, good news, she is pregnant now presumably because no one gave a shit about her engagement announcement last week. People reports:
A week after announcing that boyfriend…

The Superficial / February 21, 2014

Lady GaGa Didn’t Make A Song With R. Kelly. What Are You Talking About?

“Just a second, girl. Told that motherfucker I needed more bran…”
When the Village Voice published its interview with Jim DeRogatis detailing the graphic and extensive nature of R. Kelly’s alleged statutory rapes, almost everyone immediately asked what the fuck Lady GaGa was doing recording a song with him. Including Lady GaGa who suddenly re-recorded…

The Superficial / January 7, 2014

Ke$ha Has An Eating Disorder Because Her Producer Called Her A Refrigerator

Over the weekend, Ke$ha announced she’s checked into rehab for an eating disorder which apparently is the result of her producer Dr. Luke saying she looks like a “fucking refrigerator.” So here’s that while I cross out, “Girl, I want to put cold cuts in you like a Kenmore,” from my list of pickup line…

The Superficial / January 6, 2014

The 2013 American Music Awards

Here’s the rest of The 2013 American Music Awards which is almost entirely an excuse to post pics of Aubrey O’Day’s breasts because we have Christ in our hearts. Then again, the presence of Ke$ha suggests maybe it’s Satan. I’m not a priest.
Photos: Getty

The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Katy Perry’s Breasts! You Came Back (Kind Of)!

Katy Perry has been keeping her breasts under wraps lately because she’s a very serious artist now who can’t be taken very seriously if her giant tits are all up in your face. Which is obviously a bullshit excuse because it makes no sense, so I’ll just come right out and say it: John Mayer

The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Oh, What’s That, Lady GaGa? You’re Marilyn Monroe And R. Kelly Is Obama?

MILEY CYRUS HAS A GIANT CAT PHOTO THAT ALSO WORKS AS A VAGINA JOKE.
Get back in your egg.
Photos: Getty

The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Miley Cyrus Just Inceptioned The Internet

Here’s Miley Cyrus performing at the American Music Awards last night with a giant lip-synching kitten because the Internet runs on cat photos and her vagina, so she literally just played us like a hillbilly harp from hell. Although, I guess I could’ve said banjo, but sometimes I like to be subtle. Subtle like a…

The Superficial / November 25, 2013

This Chick Says She’s Christina Aguilera

Below is Christina Aguilera at last year’s American Music Awards. And above is one of her arms stretched out with four limbs, a head and tits because science is only concerned with if it could do something instead of being worried if it should. This is how Skynet happens, people.

What’s A Kim

The Superficial / November 25, 2013

BEST OF 2012: Christina Assulera

Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill,

The Superficial / December 31, 2012

The 2012 American Music Awards

“I know you ain’t cryin’ back there.”
*sniff* “This isn’t the way Usher does it…”
Here’s the rest of The 2012 American Music Awards in case any of you are interested in seeing the music industry’s top “talents” being forced to perform at an event that basically named Justin Bieber its Prom King while letting…

The Superficial / November 19, 2012

Christina Aguilera Was At The Am- JESUS CHRIST!

In case you were wondering just how large Christina Aguilera’s ass is getting, here it is at the American Music Awards last night before it tried to blow up the rebel base on Yavin IV. It also performed, but somehow looked noticeably smaller which means they either brought in those mirrors David Copperfield used to…

The Superficial / November 19, 2012

Ke$ha’s Vulva Performed At The AMAs

Here’s Ke$ha performing at the AMAs last night because it’s time we had a talk with God about his handiwork, so here goes: Dude, you see this? Don’t ever do that again unless you’re going to give it a penis or strangle it when it crawls out of the womb. Now what’s going on with…

The Superficial / November 19, 2012

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Are Still Doing It

Despite a very messy and public divorce where Jennifer Lopez’s people immediately started trashing Marc Anthony in the press, the two of them recently hooked up at a Puerto Rican hotel while filming their talent competition show. Probably because Marc Anthony reportedly has a giant penis which I forgot to post about, so just take…

The Superficial / November 22, 2011

Christina Aguilera Should Probably Give Birth Now

Once you accuse one celebrity of being pregnant, you kind of want to accuse them all (Tom Bergeron…), so here’s Christina Aguilera at last night’s AMAs looking almost exactly as knocked up as she did for last year’s show making this sort of an anniversary if not an alarming medical emergency. Seriously, that kid’s going…

The Superficial / November 21, 2011

The Wonkboobs At The AMAS and Other News

Posted by Photo Boy
– This is considered foreplay to Jennifer Lopez. [Huffington Post]
- Prince Harry just needs to play a little shirtless volleyball and he’ll be right there. [Dlisted]
– This is what it takes for something positive to be said about Channing Tatum. [Lainey Gossip]
- Arnold Schwarzenegger’s DVD commentaries are almost…

Photo Boy / November 21, 2011
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