Posts tagged "Britney Spears"

Bertney’s Zipper Broked

Britney Spears had a wardrobe malfunction in Vegas, which surprisingly doesn’t happen more often.

The Superficial | October 19, 2015 - 12:02 pm

Bertney Made A Funny!

Britney Spears pretends to interview bodyguards while Neil Patrick Harris and Joe Jonas prove she’s capable of repeating words like a big girl.

The Superficial | September 23, 2015 - 2:30 pm

Bertney Meets Jell-O

Bertney meets superstar performer Jell-O, but soon learns a terrible secret from Mr. Orange Flappy Hair when he arrives all the way from Bullshit Village.

The Superficial | September 11, 2015 - 1:15 pm

Bertney’s Bewbs Were At The MMAs!

Britney Spears’ boobs have a Vegas show to promote, or Papa says no more McDonald’s.

The Superficial | August 31, 2015 - 1:50 pm

Britney Spears Went To The Teen Choice Awards

Britney Spears went to the Teen Choice Awards where she either looked super hot or crazy as shit depending on your views on heavily medicated women with no idea where they are.

The Superficial | August 17, 2015 - 10:32 am

Britney Spears Conservatorship Will ‘Last A Lifetime’

Britney Spears’ conservatorship is forever.

The Superficial | August 3, 2015 - 1:59 pm

Bertney Meets The Man-Lady

When Jayden tells Bertney all about a man that changes into woman, Bertney sets out on a grand adventure to see this strange creature for herself.

The Superficial | July 17, 2015 - 10:00 am

Bertney’s Fancy Night Out

Bertney’s a robot. She’s a fancy pretty robot.

The Superficial | May 18, 2015 - 12:45 pm

Britney Spears Fell Down

Britney Spears falls while performing in Vegas and, yes, that counts as news on the Internet. What doesn’t?

The Superficial | April 30, 2015 - 1:00 pm

Bertney Meets Miss Iggy

Bertney makes a special new friend while shooting a music video. Her name is Iggy!

The Superficial | April 10, 2015 - 1:37 pm

Bertney Learns Maths

Bertney has to help Sean with his pre-algebra homework, but she doesn’t know what any of those words mean. And who’s Sean?

The Superficial | March 27, 2015 - 11:45 am

Oh Yeah, Britney Spears Totally Knows Who This Is

Britney Spears and Melissa Joan Hart had a ‘Drive Me Crazy’ reunion in Veags because Britney obviously remembers that part of her life. You can just see it in her eyes. Her vacant, expressionless eyes.

The Superficial | February 20, 2015 - 2:00 pm

Jamie Lynn Spears Pulled A Knife At A Louisiana Pita Shop Fight

If you thought Dustin Diamond is the only pseudo-celebrity whose go-to move is to start stabbing whenever a fight breaks out, Jamie Lynn Spears pulled a knife during a fight at a Louisiana pita shop because apparently that’s what happens when you introduce foreign food to the south. Especially the terrorist kind. THIS IS AMERICA.

The Superficial | January 2, 2015 - 11:30 am

Bertney & The Amazing Computer Magicked Bikini

Bertney And The Amazing Computer Magicked Berkini Belly
A Positive Reinforcement Reader

It was a very special day for Bertney. She was at the courthouse seeing the nice old judge who always had the best news to tell Papa.
“Well, Mr. Spears,” the judge said from his very tall wooden seat.

The Superficial | December 17, 2014 - 3:33 pm

Bertney’s Turkey Durkey Day!

Bertney’s Turkey Durkey Day!
A Guide To Healthy Eating

Bertney loved Thanksgiving.
“It’s a whole day where I give food presents to my mouth!” she excitedly told a can of whipped cream the caterers had given her so she’d leave the kitchen.
“More importantly, Bertney Jean, it’s a day to

The Superficial | November 26, 2014 - 12:49 pm

Bertney’s Special New Berfend

Bertney’s Special New Berfend
A Learning About Genders Reader

Bertney loved having a boyfriend, and Papa always found the nicest ones to take Bertney to all of her favorite places to eat: The Cheesecake Factory, McDonald’s, Johnny Rockets, McDonald’s again, Red Robin, Taco Bell, and if she was really good, Chuck E.

The Superficial | November 10, 2014 - 2:47 pm

Bertney And The Key To The City

Bertney And The Key To The City
A Good Citizen Reader

Bertney loved keys. She loved keys even more than she loved having a whole day named after her because she already thought every day was named after her.
“On Bertney Day everybody goes to church. And on Bertney Day I

The Superficial | November 6, 2014 - 2:57 pm

Britney Spears Looks Normal, Aware of Her Surroundings. IT’S A TRAP!

Normally this is the part where I’d write an eerily accurate children’s story about Britney Spears’ dad exploiting her through the use of ice cream and tranquilizers, except Jesus Christ, she not only looks great but self-aware. If you asked her what day it is, she’d probably know it’s “T’ursday” which is literally the most…

The Superficial | October 16, 2014 - 3:45 pm

Bertney Gets Serxy

Bertney Learns To Be Serxy
A “Your Changing Body And You” Reader

Bertney loved going to the gym. She loved it because Papa stayed home, and she could eat whole bunches of funny tasting candy bars from the snack machine. The gym also had milkshakes, but Bertney didn’t drink them anymore because

The Superficial | October 14, 2014 - 3:00 pm
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