Sylvester Stallone fined for importing drugs


Sylvester Stallone was fined $2,500 and ordered to pay a court cost of $8,300 by an Australian court Monday for illegally bringing in 48 vials of human growth hormone which he claimed was prescribed to him to help boost his body while filming Rambo.

“This stuff gives your body a boost and you feel and look good,” Stallone said in a customs interview. “Doing Rambo is hard work, and I am going to be in Burma for a while. Where do you think I am going to get this stuff in Burma?”

At least he admitted he’s on something. Have you seen him recently? Nobody should look the way he does, let alone a 60-year-old. His face should be on public service announcements, with big bold letters saying: “If you look like this, it’s time to see a doctor.” Or, I dunno, a veterinarian.