Susan Boyle gets gussied up

April 24th, 2009 // 78 Comments

My hottest pics yet! Here’s Internet singing sensation Susan Boyle sporting a new make-over which is not as intensive as pretty much every media outlet is making it out to be because it’s Friday. E! News reports:

However, a rep for the show insists the cosmetic changes are not something new for Ms. Boyle. In other words, she’s not being put through some sort of insta-celebrity-induced beauty overhaul.
“Her sisters took her to her local salon where she had her monthly trim and a wash in and wash out color put on,” the show’s rep just emailed me. “That is all.”
British newspapers report that Boyle visited the Miss Toner salon near her home in Blackburn, Scotland. The hair job cost $51 and eyebrow pluck about $7, according to the Evening Standard.

To be honest, I don’t really follow the whole reality singing circuit, but I do know that Susan Boyle is more Internet famous than porn these days. In fact, just posting these pics is causing hundred dollar bills to fly out of my monitor. — I thought if I typed that it would come true. *takes off Swami hat* Can’t believe I traded my car for this…

Photos: Fame

  1. Vince Lombardi

    Just getting her unibrow shaved did it for me. Hot mama!

  2. Rick

    The Bible is filled with scientific accuracy, along with about 3500 prophecies. Not one predictive prophecy from the Bible has ever proven false. No other so-called holy book can make this claim. We are asked to have faith, not blind faith as the other religions would require.

    We know that Christian faith is the true one because the Lord told us so. Christianity is the only faith that comes with someone who was willing to give up everything including his life for us. Jesus won’t let you down if you keep your faith in him. He loves you, I love you (in a friendship sort of way). Good luck my friends and don’t let Satan throw you off balance.

  3. cadcat


  4. jake

    Her story is incredible, in fact, if you had just posted these pictures a few weeks ago we’d all have believed that she was Rosie O’Donnell’s new mentally challenged lover.

  5. Aaricka

    Thank you Rick ** hugs**

  6. karmicnotions

    Her voice is so amazing, I could listen to her sing all day!

  7. Phil

    #3 – “don’t let Satan throw you off balance”

    Tell that to Pittsburgh. They’re cruising along, up 3-0 in their playoff series, and they put Satan into the lineup – and get shut out, 3-zip. Ordinarily evil prevails in hockey, but this year, I dunno…

  8. So Rick… what’s your boyfriend’s view on that?

  9. Anon

    I know Scotland wants full independence (goodbye) but didn’t realised they had changed their currency already.
    I would’ve thought the Euro would be a better choice.

  10. Jebidiah

    I can’t help but visualize the al-Qaeda honchos, whoever that is anymore, hearing about how big an issue this is, laughing about it and telling each other what a bunch of marshmallow soft infidels we are. These people are brutal without any scruples or morals whatsoever. They strap bombs to women like Sarah Boyle with Downs Syndrome, send them into the market and blow them up remotely.

    Yeah, I understand the arguments against waterboarding, including do we want to stoop to their level? But they know that and will use it to their utmost advantage, which no doubt means death to us and to innocents. I mean, how can any loyal American feel pity for Khalid Sheik Mohammed, mastermind of 9-11 and personal beheader of Daniel Pearl, because he endures 90 seconds of discomfort?

  11. Darth

    Holy crap! Which country does she come from?

  12. CN

    The cynic in me says unless she’s got money in the bank already, the smart bet would’ve been to keep the church dress and unibrow until she won the thing. Or did she not realize people liked her because she was their grandma with talent, not the 23810832th Z-list reality whore?

  13. Gando

    She must have a voice like a talented nightingale to compensate her looks!

  14. phoring

    looks like she just stepped off the set of Harry Potter

  15. Galtacticus

    Talented nightingale? Her voice must come straight from Heavenly Paradise!

  16. Roxi

    Better than nothing though she is in dire need of an extreme makeover, oh well…

  17. Nero

    How about a few aerobics classes?

  18. I <3 Susan Boyle!

  19. Gandalph23

    Her voice is divine. One’s outward appearance is temporary anyway.

  20. ching chong

    she’s cool and all, but she looks asian to me. she reminds me of that asian dude from amerian idol -william chung or chang or whatever.

  21. ching chong

    she’s cool and all, but she looks asian to me. she reminds me of that asian dude from amerian idol -william chung or chang or whatever.

  22. You fly is open lady [pic2]

  23. Noggin

    It’s heartbreaking to realize that she will be turning tricks for crack probably less than a year after Simon Cowell has tosses her aside.

  24. carmica

    @13 All I saw in your post was “Blah blah blah, yakkity smakkity”
    Good job!

  25. the scarf and leather jacket look definitely is working for her

  26. michelle

    i think she definitely looks better. i was not too amazed by her voice…

  27. God is selective though

    Number 13

    I would suggest you read your Bible a little better. God only likes one type of human. The rest of us are of secondary importance for some reason. He created the universe and all that sort of thing (quite a vast and impressive undertaking) but decided to have a convenant with one Arab looking group. They were in captivity at the time in Egypt. He wasn’t strong enough to free them with his magic powers though. By the time they got to Palestine, he had his chosen wizard all over them, slaughtering them and taking their land away.

    This is told in the Bible. Read it carefully.

  28. hey Jaan, she has to have her fly open… because *whispers* she’s a bit of a fatty… Yawn! Boyle is probably just a massive set up, Simon found some switched on singer and said, hey we could run circles around the MSM, it’s been pinched from ‘Fair Lady’… so freaking what if she can sing, statistically there must be thousands of people who look like here that can sing well.

  29. larry

    Why don’t all you cocksuckers for once look in the mirror at yourselves
    your all brave on the other side of that keyboard. But truth be told your all a bunch of chicken shit little punk asses
    Including the moron who runs this website,
    The superficial is obviously a place where all the low life can hide

  30. Edna Bambrick

    #30 Larry has been reported.

  31. timmy the dying boy

    She’s an OK singer (just OK), so I don’t really see what all the fuss is about. That’s the net for you, continually making random people oddly famous. At least she doesn’t look like the pub owner’s frumpy wife any more, she’s now stepped up to frumpy schoolteacher (like at Hogwarts, #15, good one), and that’s about as glamorous as she’s going to get.

  32. Weswie

    I say, good for her.

  33. larry

    hey edna reported, what a blithering idiot !!!
    Get a life and report yourself to the nearest animal control officer

  34. Fuck U

    and yet…you’re here #30….hmmm….

  35. Anon

    Just seen she was referenced on south park.
    How fast are they churning them out?

  36. Susan > Spiedi

    All cynicalism (new word) aside, I like this woman. She shut everybody right the fuck up, not many people have had that kind of experience in life where they turn a whole crowd of haters into fans. Most celebs do the exact opposite with their lives and careers. I jus hope she becomes successful enough to buy and sell the d-bags like Simon Cowell who are now using the shit out of her to make assloads of undeserved money because average is the new hot all of a sudden.

    People relate to the underdog and to those who are undervalued and underestimated, because most of us fit into those categories in some way. Also a lot of people were suddenly hit with the reality that Simon the snob of a-hole century would treat their own Mom or Grandma like total shit if he ever got the chance simply because he can. So it was nice to see that little talentless fucker get put in his place. Who knew a kindly middle aged virgin would be the one to do it.

    I’d rather see a real woman with real talent than some vapid silicone filled herpes infested fame crazed whore skank like Heidi Montag or the throngs of worthless women you could replace her with without anyone ever noticing. ust don’t go thinking the media/hollywood finally grew a heart, Susan proved marketable and that’s all they care about.

  37. lulu

    larry, since you’re here, you’re a lowlife too. PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!

  38. truth

    #11 – pretend for a minute that we decided NOT to use waterboarding. Then imagine U.S. soldiers getting captured by the Taliban in Afghanistan, and then subjected to “aggressive” interrogation techniques including waterboarding. Do you think for one second that we wouldn’t prosecute them for torture (among other crimes)? Do you think there would be the slightest debate here about whether waterboarding qualifies as torture? Don’t lie – you know perfectly well we’d see the issue as crystal-clear.

    Besides, we had all the info we needed prior to 9/11 to prevent the attack. Just ask Condoleeza Rice. We’ve got all the information we need and we always have. In fact, we’ve got more info that we can deal with. We don’t need to torturers, we need people who can THINK.

  39. AirMail56

    Good Effort! I hope your career takes off!

  40. Carn

    Harry Potter all grown up.

  41. Sooner

    She is an awesome lady from what I have seen, with far more talent than most anyone in Hollywood. Hopefully, she’ll beat the crap out of Celine Dion soon. :)

  42. mikeock

    She looks good now,but the first time I saw her, she looked worse than those talking trees in The Wizard of Oz. You know – the ones that threw apples at everybody.

    Don’t throw apple at me Susan!!!!!!!!!

    Still, I bet she’s got a bush the size of the Scottish flag.

  43. Gando

    If this is a make-over,how did she look before?

  44. JungleRed

    Camel toe!

  45. Name (required):

    #30… Like you!

  46. Bosco

    I’d hit that like an over-ripe haggis….oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

  47. Camel Toe

    @40 Finally, someone mentioned her camel toe.

  48. shut up you fucking assholes.

    this woman has talent. she may not be a beauty queen, but she is nearly 50 and really does not have to impress anyone.

    why does anyone here even care what she looks like?

    I know!

    It must be because you are all super hot people who do more than sit in a cubicle all day. I’ll bet that each and everyone of you who posts a nasty comment about a celebrity is actually living your dream.
    You are all probably models and artists and not bored and insignificant, mediocre people whose lives are as predictable as sunrise. That must be where you get the license to write such heavy handed judgments.

    i get it now.

  49. tam

    I googled,” Susan Boyle: camel toe,” just to see if any one else noticed it–which lead me to this site. I agree; she’s workin’ it, alright!

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