Suri Cruise gets art dedicated to her crap

August 30th, 2006 // 59 Comments

The lameass artist that brought us this is making another grab for attention by “shocking” the world with his latest masterpiece: a bronze sculpture inspired by Suri Cruise’s first poop. The work will go on display today, but won’t actually contain any of Suri Cruise’s poop.

“Babies mostly breastfeed for the first four months, so a baby’s first meal of solid food may be a baby’s first meal at the dinner table,” said David Kesting, the director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district. “A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.”

“It’s partially a statement on modern media that ‘celebrity poop’ has more entertainment value than health, famine or other critical issues facing society and governments today,” the Capla crew said in a statement, “and also the absurdity of the media coverage on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ new baby, Suri Cruise, which has reached stellar proportions, eclipsing far more notable events with more substance.”

I’m all for poking fun at the media coverage surounding Suri Cruise, but I still find it slightly less offensive than the media coverage surrounding this. Maybe if the artist didn’t have a history of putting together ridiculous celebrity art. Or have me totally convinced he’s a publicity whore. No doubt within the next couple months this guy is going to announce a statue inspired by all of Paris Hilton’s vaginal diseases. Ooh, so shocking. Pay attention to this guy, he’s a real shocker.


  1. PaisleyMoon

    #18..I went to a fancy pants art school. I don’t drink chocolatinis and I don’t think poop is art. Stop putting people in boxes and using big words you barely understand, just continue to be the forum whore.. something you comprehend.

  2. ElatedPornStar

    Xenu is coming…

    Be ready when the shit hits the fan.

  3. maiira

    Ugh. How did I know this piece of shit (pun semi-intended) was spawned from the same hack who made that Britney Spears abomination?

    Yeah, I guess technically this might be art. MIGHT be. But this “sculptor” is giving everyone else in the business a bad name. It’s not enough that his work is dedicated to the shittiest celebrities around; he has to go and make it as weird and horrifying as he possibly can. He would take real art and shit on it the way Suri Cruise (if she exists) shits in a diaper. Just what the hell IS this guy, anyway? And, more importantly, do I have to call him an artist? Because that title seems entirely too good for him.

    I don’t even know why this is pissing me off so much. It’s pissing me off BECAUSE it’s pissing me off. And the fact that it’s getting so much attention only pisses me off MORE.

    “A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.”

    Yeah, whatever.

  4. Dory

    Imagine how poor Suri is going to feel at high school when all the other kids start bagging on her cause he father got her first Shit moulded. Then again it’ll probably be some weird as scientology school if they have schools.

    AND What is even freakier is how is poor Suri going to feel knowing that someone out in the world owns the cast of her first dump because it’s up for auction.
    Having her first poo moulded will haunt her for her entire life just think of her tombstone for gods sake…

    Rest In Peace
    Suri Cruise
    2006 – 2076
    Her Bronzed Feces will never be forgotten.

  5. Babybing

    #18–Don’t listen to all those jealous haters!

  6. I’ve got an idea for this guy’s next work of “art”: John Travolta’s Man-gina

  7. hobberknockers

    Oh my god…hopefully this is not going to set a precedent for bronzing other bodily functions…what the heck……..? Fine art? GROOOSSSS!

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