The lameass artist that brought us this is making another grab for attention by “shocking” the world with his latest masterpiece: a bronze sculpture inspired by Suri Cruise’s first poop. The work will go on display today, but won’t actually contain any of Suri Cruise’s poop.
“Babies mostly breastfeed for the first four months, so a baby’s first meal of solid food may be a baby’s first meal at the dinner table,” said David Kesting, the director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district. “A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.”
“It’s partially a statement on modern media that ‘celebrity poop’ has more entertainment value than health, famine or other critical issues facing society and governments today,” the Capla crew said in a statement, “and also the absurdity of the media coverage on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ new baby, Suri Cruise, which has reached stellar proportions, eclipsing far more notable events with more substance.”
I’m all for poking fun at the media coverage surounding Suri Cruise, but I still find it slightly less offensive than the media coverage surrounding this. Maybe if the artist didn’t have a history of putting together ridiculous celebrity art. Or have me totally convinced he’s a publicity whore. No doubt within the next couple months this guy is going to announce a statue inspired by all of Paris Hilton’s vaginal diseases. Ooh, so shocking. Pay attention to this guy, he’s a real shocker.
jrzmommy | August 30, 2006 at 11:49 am
his rendition of mans’ inhumanity toward man.
How about he does a cast bronze of a 30′ penis and call it Tom’s Adoration of the Cock.
Cruzadas | August 30, 2006 at 11:50 am
May we call this man a crap pedophile?
cat_taylor | August 30, 2006 at 11:51 am
holy shit.
Cruzadas | August 30, 2006 at 11:51 am
BTW, where’s suri?
DancingQueen | August 30, 2006 at 11:55 am
This is so retarded.
jrzmommy | August 30, 2006 at 11:56 am
yes this is retarded, but THIS is fucking classic!!
http://www.nbc4.com/entertainment/9762628/detail.html
bigponie | August 30, 2006 at 11:56 am
I am a blooming artiste myself, and for my next exhibition I would like to cover Tom under six feet of dirt.
RichPort | August 30, 2006 at 11:58 am
How about a bronze of TC’s poop, I mean career, I mean, aw fuck it… they’re both getting flushed down the ol’ porcelain throne anyway.
CelebSlam.com | August 30, 2006 at 12:00 pm
The LochNess Monster’s existence is more well-documented than Suri’s
http://www.celebslam.com
Ann Miller | August 30, 2006 at 12:03 pm
I see that plaster replicas will be available for purchase. I think I’ll pick one up as an investment. Early retirement, here I come!
Bioplant | August 30, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Some animals are not fit to live with the others, and must be put down.
Thus, it follows that some humans are not fit to live with others, and also must be put down.
One of those humans is Tom Cruise. The other is the poop artist. Katie Holmes, however, is fit to live amongst the rest of us.
Thank you.
Italian Stallion | August 30, 2006 at 12:09 pm
“A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.”
I hope he mistakes memento for a mentos, he ate the placenta, why not the first shit?
This shit is just fucking crazy, and bronze………..
joslibrarian | August 30, 2006 at 12:11 pm
LOL!!! Tom, that’s got to go against scientology, somewhere… The funniest part is the specialist–a meaningful momento–yeah. I’ll be right back, I have to go drop some meaningful momentos of my own.
bunnyhugger | August 30, 2006 at 12:12 pm
wtf is this? national bodily functions week?
jrzmommy | August 30, 2006 at 12:19 pm
I like how they call it “fine art.” I fucking hate artsy fartsy avant garde dickheads.
commissioner | August 30, 2006 at 12:25 pm
@6
Oh my God!
I can hear sister-in-law now. “Control freak this, BITCH!” (As she pours the candied yams over Kyra’s bad dye job. Wanna bet she’ll opt to work the holidays this year instead of facing the family?
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 12:29 pm
how shitty – I hope they put some lacquer on it…
biatcho | August 30, 2006 at 12:29 pm
This is why the arts are always the first thing to go in schools. Because of pieces of shit like this, literally. Fucking ARTEESTS can all go fuck themselves & their gay ass boyfriends while drinking chocolatini’s with their faghags.
I blame Jesus…he had to go & give people the silly idea that you should be different & let your message be heard by the masses, even if they think you’re crazy.
Astriastar | August 30, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Any word on whether or not Tom’s going to sue? It this does see the light of day, we’ll see what her shit looks like before we see what she looks like. Nice.
How ridiculous is this? I’ll bet the crap is easier on the eyes than the kid is, otherwise we’d have seen her by now. And don’t tell me no one’s seen her yet because Tom values her privacy…he’s the biggest attention whore this side of Paris Hilton.
jrzmommy | August 30, 2006 at 12:37 pm
16–I think Kyra will be doing the weather in Billings, Montana next.
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Hmmm, I wonder if this based on a RUNNY turd, or something a little more solid? How about a nice bronze sculpture of her fucking shitty little diaper???
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 12:44 pm
I wonder what alien feces looks like??
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 12:51 pm
Here is a wonderful little clip of Little Suri, she is so cuuuuute – she is about to regurgitate her Romulan unicorn’s milk – enjoy!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oLmhGb4ZdZo
commissioner | August 30, 2006 at 12:52 pm
@20
Would have made my week if she had said something more interesting like, “Damn, my pussy hurts from the pounding my boyfriend gave me after my husband went to the gym this morning”.
teenage-superbitch | August 30, 2006 at 1:03 pm
virtual poop for a virtual baby… tom, katy “suri” give up, no one is swallowing your bullshit… ( no pun intended)
Jake | August 30, 2006 at 1:07 pm
hey look, it’s creepy mcpherson and wide-eyed holmes.
http://wampoon.com/
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Suri is an evil, scaly, fanged, green blooded, fucked up little runt who has come to our planet to overthrow our very way of life – she must be stopped at all costs..,
jrzmommy | August 30, 2006 at 1:14 pm
24-I was hoping for, “I gotta watch out for my brother. His wife is such a fucking pussywhipping douchebag. It’s mother’s fault he’s such a gutless pussy. I mean, she dressed him in girl’s clothes and made him take baths with her until he was SEVEN, for chrissakes. Oh, you don’t know……our mother was a raging alchoholic! Father would go on these ‘business trips’ with his ‘friend’…..”
Pavarottie | August 30, 2006 at 1:21 pm
As if the child isn’t going to be fucked up enough with a psycho daddy like Tom Cruise, now she will have a daily reminder of just how screwed her life is.
Jacq | August 30, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Where are my other scatologists when I need them?!?!?!
How can they bronze the poop when you KNOW Tom ate it?
The only shit I will ever touch is the one that I take in my hand right before I slap Tom Cruise on a red carpet. THAT will be awesome.
commissioner | August 30, 2006 at 1:36 pm
@28
Sounds like some shit my kid would say to get out of music class and “get to see the counselor” instead.
Way more entertaining than Suri shit. Some people bronze the first shoes, some people bronze the first excrement. Surprised Tom doesn’t make “Kate” spit out his jizz so he can pickle it and save it for all eternity.
jrzmommy | August 30, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Tom bronzed his first pair of shoes with a lift in them.
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 1:56 pm
She’s a skanky, psychotic, rubber-faced, bug-eyed little dirtbag who pisses out battery acid and she wants to overthrow our entire system…she was nursed by Courtney Love which makes her even more unstable…
guest1234567 | August 30, 2006 at 2:05 pm
The artist should do a piece about Tara Reid being so brave as she was standing outside a bar that wouldn’t let her in.
MyWellRehearsedMistake | August 30, 2006 at 2:06 pm
This is a shit story.
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 2:14 pm
#34…
Make sure one tit is showing…
dejavoodoo | August 30, 2006 at 2:43 pm
doesn’t suri actually mean shit in some messed up sciontology based language? i’m gonna go jump on my couch
ToiletDuck | August 30, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Here is a private clip of little Suri’s first diaper change – quite intense, but the TomKat handlers were able to get through it…
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SK79aAyqZQ4
HolisticWisdomcom | August 30, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Good grief. Next he is going to bronze his own poop and fling it at people while jumping on Oprah’s couch. Naughty Tom.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
Dory | August 30, 2006 at 4:49 pm
I feel ill. Will someone PLEASE take that poor child away from those people.
Dory | August 30, 2006 at 4:52 pm
That is of course if there is a child…
uh.huh.uh.huh | August 30, 2006 at 7:07 pm
nasty!
Dirt McGirt | August 30, 2006 at 10:49 pm
You’re all glib
Dogs At The Movies | August 31, 2006 at 1:24 am
As if there wasn’t already enough useless crap in this World!
http://www.DogsAtTheMovies.com
Dogs At The Movies | August 31, 2006 at 1:26 am
As if there wasn’t already enough useless crap in this World!
http://www.DogsAtTheMovies.com
AmberDextrose | August 31, 2006 at 3:59 am
#18 – confusion. You mean that isn’t you? You’re posts are so misleading. Dammnit and I was gonna ask to be your faghag too. Bitch.
#28 ha ha ha ha
Is it right that child slaves are toiling in mines to produce the metal ore to cast this poo?
Captain Awesome | August 31, 2006 at 5:52 am
*sigh*
Typical artfag. When you can’t sell your work on its merit alone, make “shit” up!
Looks like I’ll have to dig up Andy Warhol’s body so I can piss on it again.
YoMamma | August 31, 2006 at 8:57 am
“Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time.”
nc72 | August 31, 2006 at 9:02 am
Here’s the scoop or poop heh. Wonder if it’s wet…
http://www.exposay.com/suri-cruise-poops-too-shows-display/v/4016/
thesarahficial | August 31, 2006 at 9:34 am
you gotta be friggin kiddin me