Suri Cruise Will Cut You

Taking time off from buying penis gummies to presumably throw in Tom Cruise’s face and call him a “faggot” (Kids are so cute.), here’s Suri Cruise letting the paparazzi know exactly who runs shit at Casa Xenu and it ain’t Midget Dad or Zombie Mom.

SURI: Why don’t you two kiss like other mommies and daddies?
TOM: Uhh…
SURI: Well, that’s about to change. *pulls switchblade* PROVE YOUR LOVE, BITCHES.
TOM: Never! *swallows cyanide capsule, spasms on the floor*
SURI: Can I have his wallet?
SURI: I’ll take that as a yes.

Photos: Splash News