Super Bowl XLV: ‘Wait, These Are Nerd Movies…’

While the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers engaged in gridiron combat last night that set the stage for people of low moral fiber to make constant and repetitive rape jokes because Ben Roethlisberger rapes people, several trailers for summer tent poles debuted which you can check out below and quibble over like the nerds we all are. In fact, I’ll go first Captain America? More like Captain Ass Sandwich. Zing! — Shoot me in the face. Anyway, on a serious note, Howling Commandos inclusion aside, absolutely nothing about that trailer made me look past the fact Joe Johnston is still the director, and if you’ll excuse me, I now need to apologize to every woman I’ve ever slept with before they convert to lesbiantry. “Did he just say ‘Howling Commandos?’ *points at vagina* GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!!”

Captain America


Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Super 8

Photos: Getty