Super Bowl XLV: ‘Wait, These Are Nerd Movies…’

February 7th, 2011 // 27 Comments
Captain America Super Bowl

While the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers engaged in gridiron combat last night that set the stage for people of low moral fiber to make constant and repetitive rape jokes because Ben Roethlisberger rapes people, several trailers for summer tent poles debuted which you can check out below and quibble over like the nerds we all are. In fact, I’ll go first Captain America? More like Captain Ass Sandwich. Zing! — Shoot me in the face. Anyway, on a serious note, Howling Commandos inclusion aside, absolutely nothing about that trailer made me look past the fact Joe Johnston is still the director, and if you’ll excuse me, I now need to apologize to every woman I’ve ever slept with before they convert to lesbiantry. “Did he just say ‘Howling Commandos?’ *points at vagina* GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!!”

Captain America

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Thor

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

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Super 8

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Hemingway

    I’m psyched for all of these.

    Except Transformers. Fuck everyone that has anything to do with Transformers.

  2. Justin

    Maybe you didn’t see the same Captain America trailer the rest of us saw, cuz that looked awesome.

    @1 Exactly.

    • anonymous

      Sorry the trailer…hell the whole movie looks gay as fuck. Why the hell does Captain America need football pads built into his suit?

  3. André

    I also thought CA trailer to be kinda meh.

    Super 8 FTW. Everybody kneel before Abrams and WORSHIP HIM, BITCHES

  4. Mortimer Duke

    Im glad Roethlisberger didnt win. He would have only used the Lombardi trophy to penetrate his future rape victims. I hate him.

  5. Alamander

    Trailer goodness goes (from best to worst.)

    Captain America (character setup is stronger than other trailers – they made it about CA)

    Transformers (uh….cool stuff happened.)

    Super 8 – I’m not sure what the movie was about – seems like an emulation of old spielberg blockbusters… (While I admit Abrams has good hooks in his stories, initially – I think they always lack substance and payoff as the movie goes on. His ‘mystery box’ storytelling philosophy almost seems more of an excuse not to develop details or conclusions, and leaves me feeling unfulfilled…)

    • equinox

      I hate Abrams because I fall for it every fucking time.

      Yeah, this time too.

    • DKNY

      They definitely didn’t give us enough in the trailer to know what Super 8 is about. It looks interesting, and I’m definitely curious.

  6. equinox

    the first avenger.

    the beardiest avenger.

    the avenger rich in iron.

    it’s not easy being a green avenger.

  7. Darebear

    Abrams started the privileged fanboy snake circle of hollywood overtaking old masters and perpetually sucking their own weiners.

    Sorry to be cynical.

  8. all the movies ads looked gay. only flick i’m looking forward to right now is the sequel to district 9

  9. james

    joe johnston directed the rocketeer. that makes him ok in my book.

  10. Super 8 for sure!!!

  11. wolfboy74

    1) I love how you showcase boobs and comics on same site. It’s like ‘chocolate and peanut butter’!

    2) totally agree with you re Joe Johnston. he totally hates the source material.

    • jjsss2234234

      that’s why Fish is 1000 Times better than gekologie, I used to be a geekologie fan but now I LOVE FISH!!!!!!!!

  12. anonymous

    JJ Abrams always makes the shittiest non-commercials for his movies. It’s good for us that his stuff is usually good.

  13. Satan's bitch

    Lesbiantry?? Pure genius, Fish! (Yoink! Stolen.)

  14. jjsss2234234

    Transformers actually looked really good I thought,
    sorry :(

    Captain America HELL YES, maybe they will make a Marvel hero movie that is actually good? I hope so Iron man 2 Sucks so bad

    THOR looks stupid

    WAHT THE FUCK IS super 8 ABOUT??? someone tell me

  15. Colin

    What people need to realize about Super 8 is that it’s a J.J. Abrams movie, NOT a J.J. Abrams TV show. The difference? In a movie, he can’t come up with a ridiculously convoluted plot and then leave before the series ends leaving the rest of the crew wondering how the fuck it was supposed to end and having to make shit up that makes no sense.

  16. You are all Geeks or 8 years old. Captain America? Transformers 3? Super 8 (Isn’t that a hotel chain)?

    ***Stiffles laughter… Grunts … giggles … pwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!***

  17. Johnny Cage

    The Captain America one looked cool. Wats the problem? Now lets just hurry up and have them all fight the Hulk.

  18. Brooke

    I am psyched for Thor. Captain America…. not sure. I was never a fan of the character, so I can’t get too enthusiastic about it after just this trailer. I didn’t even bother watching the Transformers commercial because I’m not going to see the movie anyway. Super 8 I’ve never heard of, but it looks all right.

    But Thor… yeah. That looks pretty sexy.

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