The VMAs haven’t even started yet, but already Iggy Azalea fell of a stage and one of Nicki Minaj‘s backup dancers got bit by a boa constrictor which both are offensively inconsequential now in light of Suge Knight getting shot six fucking times at Chris Brown‘s pre-VMAs party. TMZ reports:
And we know … cops are interested in this — there were several known gang bangers surrounding Chris at the time of the shooting.
This could all be problematic for Brown …. He’s still on probation in the Rihanna beating case, and hanging with gang members and throwing gang signs is not going to impress the judge.
Here’s where I’m torn. On the one hand, I want to say Chris Brown did it because guns are for pussies, and Chris Brown is a gigantic one of those. On the other hand, Suge Knight is a man who’s larger than Chris and will almost definitely fight back, so there goes that theory. Which is why I’m going to meet in the middle and say Justin Bieber did it after asking his teddy bear if this will make people finally believe he’s black. Mr. Fuzzybottom’s a stone-hearted killa. Dem button eyes don’t give a fuck.
Video from inside the club where you can actually hear the gunshots:
Suge Knight hiding behind a police car:
And Suge getting inside a different police car while not even looking like a man who just got shot five times in the stomach. He probably asked if they could stop at Wendy’s.
Photo: Splash News