Subway Received A Serious Complaint About Jared In 2011

“Okay…so we’re all just gonna act like this guy didn’t just say ‘Hannah Montana gets me rock hard?'”

After Jared Fogle plead guilty to possession of child pornography and soliciting minors for sex, Subway stuck to their guns, maintaining that they had no knowledge of any complaints against Jared, despite the claims of Cindy Mills as well as a suspect-as-fuck distancing of themselves by employing him through the kind of shell marketing corporation that would give Dan Bilzerian’s dad an erection for days. Except now, Subway is saying “Oh, well there was this one thing back in 2011…” Via AP:

The Subway restaurant chain said it received a “serious” complaint about Jared Fogle when he was the company’s spokesman but that the complaint did not imply any criminal sexual activity.
Subway spokeswoman Kristen McMahon said the company received the “serious” complaint in 2011 from Rochelle Herman-Walrond, a former journalist from Florida who revealed publicly to WWSB-TV in Sarasota last month that she also took her concerns to the FBI and secretly recorded her phone conversations with Fogle for more than four years to assist the agency’s investigation.

Okay, so the reporter who was so concerned about the fucked up things Jared Fogle had said to her over the years that she went to the goddamn FBI somehow failed to mention any criminal sexual activity when she notified Subway? Not fucking likely. And since this admission came from Subway themselves after they reviewed “more than a million online comments and interviews with past and present employees and managers of the company and an advertising fund,” they’d also like you to know this:

“It is important to note that the investigation found no further evidence of any other complaints of any kind regarding Mr. Fogle that were submitted to or shared with SUBWAY.”

So if you were worried that say, I dunno, Jared was also rubbing his dick on the cookies, or had secret cameras in the bathrooms, you can now have the peace of mind that Subway didn’t know about that stuff either. If Subway actually succeeds with this bullshit, it will forever be known as “The Looney Tunes Defense.”

“Your honor, we’d like to present exhibit A – An audio recording of the meeting between Subway executives and Ms. Herman-Walrond.” *presses play*:

“We understand you have some serious concerns about Jared Fogle?”
“Yes, he told me he’s attracted to chi– *jackhammer starts, immediately stops*
“As I was saying, on several occasions, Jared told me he thought middle school girls were ho– *marching band streams into conference room*
“This is a serious complaint! Don’t you people care that he wanted to secretly film my own ki– *helicopter appears dangerously close to window*

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: Getty

Tags: Jared Fogle