Steven Seagal and Carrot Top are friends

February 20th, 2006 // 81 Comments
seagal-carrot-top.jpg

Isn’t it about time that somebody got Steven Seagal and Carrot Top to make a movie together? It could be a touching story about a boy and his dog and their journey through adolescence. Carrot Top could play the dog, and Steven Seagal could play the guy who breaks people’s necks and karate chops them in the face.

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Comments (81)

  1. gogoboots | February 20, 2006 at 2:22 pm

    Carrot Top looks like a drag queen! Hahahaha!
    This could do wonders for Steven Seagal’s career…whatever’s left of it.

    Reply
  2. Manderoni | February 20, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    I agree…there’s something very strange going on with Carrot Top’s face. He’s either had a lot of plastic surgery or he’s got a bunch of makeup on or something. He looks very different than he used to…!!!

    Reply
  3. LickyLicky | February 20, 2006 at 2:33 pm

    He is absolutely, by far, the strangest looking man I have ever seen who does not have some sort of medical condition. And I’m not counting ugly as a medical condition.

    I’d lick dish before I’d fuck him. ‘Scuse me while I burn my retinas with welding equipment.

    Reply
  4. gogoboots | February 20, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    Might be the mascara he’s wearing, overall i recall he has a bad case of the uglies…ugh!

    Reply
  5. Binky | February 20, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    and Licky -CarrotTop is no prize either.

    Reply
  6. M@ce | February 20, 2006 at 2:35 pm

    I don’t know which is more orange, Carrot Top’s hair or Segal’s spray-on tan.

    In this picture, Carrot Top is describing the surgery where he had his penis removed and replaced with a mildly humorous prop.

    Reply
  7. Joe Mamma | February 20, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    Ummm… Didn’t Seagal used to have shoulders? He looks like a giant Pez dispenser.

    And why is he sitting with Rocky Dennis?

    Reply
  8. gogoboots | February 20, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    where the hell are they?!!?! hey look guys, Nicole’s eating http://rosiedemario.blogspot.com/2006/02/nicole-to-open-nightclub.html

    I think she wants to open her own club in LA. way to go, nicole!

    Reply
  9. whatever | February 20, 2006 at 2:47 pm

    I can’t decide what disturbs me the most about this picture. It might be Carrot Top’s Popeye-the-Sailor-Man biceps.

    Reply
  10. Binky | February 20, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    Actually it looks like an acting lesson and Carrot Top is helping develop Steve’s depth as an artist.
    Her he’s showing him how to portray ‘Scissors’.

    Reply
  11. a concerned fan | February 20, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    I think I just shot milk out of my nose, and I wasn’t even drinking milk. Carrot Top and Steven Seagal!! What’s next??? A Tim Allen movie where he plays a dog? Oh…wait…

    Reply
  12. M@ce | February 20, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    #7 Rocky Dennis! Nice one.

    Reply
  13. Binky | February 20, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Here’s an ‘e’ for any of those comments missing a vowel

    Reply
  14. Tania | February 20, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    What do you guys think…Do you see the resemblance?

    http://www.winfemme.com/images/KathyGriff_4537190_Max.jpg

    I would normally feel bad for comparing Carrot Top to a woman, but since Kathy Griffin really isn’t a woman per se…

    Reply
  15. gossipmonger | February 20, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    Posted by LickyLicky He is absolutely, by far, the strangest looking man I have ever seen who does not have some sort of medical condition.

    Certainly not in defense of Carrot Top, because, yes, he is looking mighty strange.. but have you seen Michael Jackson lately? I still think Carrot Top has a ways to go before reaching that status… Jacko reigns in strangest-looking man category…

    Reply
  16. gossipmonger | February 20, 2006 at 3:16 pm

    Tania, wow, never realised they were one and the same until seeing them compared.. scary… and renders my comments in my above post useless, since we are actually talking about a drag queen…

    Reply
  17. Aimtrue | February 20, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    This is really a high level negotiation- Carrot Top offers Steven Segal $2 to be in his act- Look a falling star, Look a Took a dump Look a graduate of the jackie Chan school of Acting- Look a Guy who wishes he was Jackie Chan- Look a Guy who wished he had the balls to committ suidcide after his first movie so he would have that I’m famous because I’m dead factor like Bruce Lee- Look a guy who becasme Buhdist so he could wear a dress to hide his fat gut

    Reply
  18. Mugato | February 20, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    Carrot Top and Kathy Griffin definitly have the same plastic surgeon. You’d think after he did The Joker, the guy would stop getting clients.

    Reply
  19. jugsgirl | February 20, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    i smell buddy cop flick with cathy griffith as the love intrest.

    Reply
  20. jugsgirl | February 20, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    sorry kathy not cathy

    Reply
  21. LadySpankington | February 20, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    Great. Thanks Superficial. Seeing that picture? Now I’m going to have nightmares. Happy Now?

    Reply
  22. LickyLicky | February 20, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    I dunno, Gossip. I think it’s relative. We expect strangeness out of MJ, and we’ve seen it for so long that it’s almost a non-issue now. Like meeting someone and falling in love with them and forgiving any shortcomings they may have in the name of love. After a while, you don’t even see them anymore. Carrot hasn’t reached that plateau yet.

    Besides, MJ is not a man. I thought we had that cleared up LONG ago.

    Reply
  23. reptilicus | February 20, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    Kudos to whoever the woman is that got a sex change and cosmetic surgery to look like Carrot Top! The swelling should go down in a couple of weeks.

    Reply
  24. chelleann66 | February 20, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    Check out CT’s hand gesture….

    Carrot Top: “Steven, I will give you two million dollars to pose with me like we are buddies.”

    Steven: “You’re on”.

    Reply
  25. HughJorganthethird | February 20, 2006 at 4:19 pm

    I never thought I would see the day where Seagal begins to resemble a tanned Hal Hollbrook. Wait a sec, yes I did. Did they have wake him up for this picture? I guess if your hiding out from the mob hanging with C.T. is a good bet.

    Reply
  26. Evil Kao Chiu | February 20, 2006 at 4:21 pm

    A quick query from across the pond: Who the f**k is Carrot Top? And why does he have a freakish resemblance to Barbra Streisand?

    Reply
  27. Darby | February 20, 2006 at 4:24 pm

    he does look like a tranny. He has to cut out the plastic surgery…He looked better skinny and dorky at least he looked normal and not like a science experiment. Steven Segal? Not worth a comment.

    Reply
  28. cibby | February 20, 2006 at 4:30 pm

    I have seen more than my fair share of Steven Segal movies… my dad loves them. His parting words to me: ‘Bring back some Steven Segal movies, if you can’

    Reply
  29. Binky | February 20, 2006 at 4:32 pm

    #26 Carrot Top works for the US Department of Defense.
    Apparently he was recently switched from the ‘WMD inspection department’ to the ‘Iraq Exit Strategy ‘ desk.

    Reply
  30. energy_guru | February 20, 2006 at 5:14 pm

    I just want to know when Seagal is going to help Carrot Top start his own energy drink company like Seagal now has.

    Reply
  31. Stepheroo | February 20, 2006 at 5:16 pm

    Forget Carrot Top. I want to know why Steven has on my Grandma’s bed jacket. It looks better on Granny, which is really scary since she’s bed dead for 10 years!

    Reply
  32. Stepheroo | February 20, 2006 at 5:19 pm

    oops…that’s been dead. The Freudian slip about “bed” in reference to those two has made me not want to cook dinner.

    Reply
  33. Smacksmackums | February 20, 2006 at 5:22 pm

    Looks photoshopped to me. Maybe Seagal’s body has always been that out of proportion though.

    Reply
  34. ESQ | February 20, 2006 at 5:32 pm

    Carrot Top is holding up two fingers after being asked, “How many times did he hit it with Steven Segal.” Carrot Top was crying when he answered that, the reason behind his mascara running.

    Steven Segal’s head does look like it was photshopped to that picture.

    Reply
  35. Mary45 | February 20, 2006 at 5:45 pm

    Late lunch – just barfed – thanks! Pictures like this would make a great diet plan…

    Reply
  36. Praz | February 20, 2006 at 6:10 pm

    Is Carrot Top emo? I can’t keep up with kids these days and their latest trends.

    Reply
  37. Tracie | February 20, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    Yes #2, as incredible as it may seem, Carrot Top actually got plastic surgery making him look even more bizarre than before.
    Steven Segal and Carrot Top are posing at the launch of their new “healthy” steroid injection business.

    A “Before” Carrot shot, prior to using heavy eye make-up:
    http://www.kernel.uky.edu/1995/spring/041095/carrot.gif
    Still “Before” surgery (notice the droopy upper eyelids), but after discovering make-up:
    http://www.dannykent.com/photo/carrottop/pictures/03.jpg
    One of the frightful “After” shots: http://www.dawgnetnews.com/archive/030403/pictures/ent_carrot.jpg

    …Uh, Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?

    Reply
  38. Tracie | February 20, 2006 at 6:25 pm

    Yes #2, as incredible as it may seem, Carrot Top actually got plastic surgery making him look even more bizarre than before.
    Steven Segal and Carrot Top are posing at the launch of their new “healthy” steroid injection business.

    A “Before” Carrot shot, prior to using heavy eye make-up:
    http://www.kernel.uky.edu/1995/spring/041095/carrot.gif
    Still “Before” surgery (notice the droopy upper eyelids), but after discovering make-up:
    http://www.dannykent.com/photo/carrottop/pictures/03.jpg

    Reply
  39. LoneWolf | February 20, 2006 at 6:33 pm

    Carrot Top is so lame that he can’t even get The Shocker right. Hold in your ring finger and stick out your pinkie, too, you tool!

    Seagal’s head looks photoshopped. Something’s up with that picture.

    Reply
  40. Moksha | February 20, 2006 at 7:07 pm

    LOL ‘scary buff’ I meant to say…there’s something unnatural about that head on a superman body.

    Reply
  41. bigfatmomma | February 20, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    who is carrot top? i didn’t know people got famous for being ugly and freaky

    Reply
  42. Tracie | February 20, 2006 at 8:10 pm

    Oh yes, ‘bigfatmomma’, cases like that are all over Hollywood. Why, here’s another example for you:

    http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/gossip/celebrities/0214spelling.jpg

    Reply
  43. playahater101 | February 20, 2006 at 8:26 pm

    Carrot top looks like a freakier version of Ronald McDonald. Both are scary looking clowns, though.

    Reply
  44. playahater101 | February 20, 2006 at 8:28 pm

    Has anyone looked past the freak that has become Carrot Top and noticed Steven Seagal and noticed he’s as gold as his coat?

    Reply
  45. The Lazy Asian | February 20, 2006 at 8:28 pm

    Check out Segal’s silk jacket – he still thinks he’s Asian.

    Reply
  46. hafaball | February 20, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    Any more freaky and Carrot Tops gona look like this! O.o

    http://blog.fatbusinessman.com/blog-post-images/animal.jpg

    I don’t want to make fun of Steven Segal, he’ll find me, and kill me…

    Reply
  47. Tania | February 20, 2006 at 9:21 pm

    Thank you for bringing that to my attention playahater101 (post #43). I was so entranced by Carrot Top that I totally overlooked Steven’s carrot skin.

    You know how if you eat too many carrots your skin will turn orange? I wonder how much of Carrot Top’s “juice” Steven had to ingest to get the same effect-?

    Reply
  48. playahater101 | February 20, 2006 at 9:55 pm

    Yeah, Tania, how much carrot do you think he’s been eating? Judging by that picture, A LOT. Maybe that’s what they’re so buddy-buddy about. Their own personal version of Brokeback Mountain. Now I have to cahnge my address so Steven doesn’t find me and kick my a$$.

    Reply
  49. thekief4 | February 20, 2006 at 11:08 pm

    When did Carrot Top get perma-clown face?

    Reply
  50. eastboundanddown | February 20, 2006 at 11:09 pm

    Up next on The Surreal Life! Actually I think Carrot Top has become a huge roids’ freak. Too many unwanted comparisons to Gallagher I guess.

    Reply
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