Steven Seagal Needs New Friends

No, Steven Seagal may not be “a thing” stateside anymore, but he’s yuuuge in Russia. When he’s not rippin’ blues licks on his fender strat that could unite the spinal chords of a thousand warring men, Seagal has been chumming it up with his good hombre, V-Lad Putin, and chowing down carrots with Belarus’ Alexander Lukashenko. The P-dog himself handed Seagal a Russian passport a couple of years back, after he busted out his strat and ripped a couple hot blues licks in favor of Russia’s invasion, *erm*, annexation of Crimea. No wonder the Ukraine has been having some of the coldest winters on record, they’ve been missing out on these red-hot blues licks…