After missing a game-winning touchdown against the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday, Steve Johnson, who’s apparently the Kanye West of NFL Tweets, took to Twitter last night where he actually cursed God for not helping him win a football game:
I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…
While people like Steve Johnson and Bristol Palin might start considering theses losses a sign God doesn’t exist, I’m actually becoming more and more convinced he does, and thankfully, is focusing on shit that matters. Like making this happen. Regardless, Steve Johnson clearly has no one to blame but himself here. Unless, of course, this happened:
STEVE: Aight, Lord, I’m gonna throw this bitch at the ground, then you gonna use your magic to make it fly back in my hands. You in?
GOD: I’m in.
STEVE: *watches ball hit the ground*
GOD: Psyche!
UPDATE: Apparently they cool now.
Photos: Getty
WTF?
Cool, I haven’t been first with a comment in years. Roll on!
Sorry butterfingers, it’s not God’s fault you can’t even catch a cold. This wasn’t the super bowl, not even close..seeing as your team is 2-9. What a drama queen.
I think everyone else is a drama queen for freaking out about his dumb twitter.
I don’t see anyone freaking out. I see people calling out some egocentric prima donna athlete who blames God for his fuck-ups rather than his sub par skills.
People ARE freaking out because it’s all over the internet. Stupid people tweet stupid shit all day long. WHO CARES.
Apparently you don’t really know what “freaking out” is. When someone of his standing makes a public statement on a public forum and when said statement is FUCKING RETARDED, it’s going to get attention.
He should start praying for help with his grammar…
HAHA.
Bucket of KFC never would have hit the ground.
heheehehehe
That is so worthy of a prize.
Fish, get the K-Y, this man deserves a H-J
LMFAO!
Racists are funny…when you’re 12 with no fucking personality. GTFOH!
I agree
old news is old.
Black athletes are funny.
guess what Steve……god doesn’t exist. it’s an old wives tale. a work of fiction. you dropped the ball, not some imaginary man in the sky.
Actually, it makes sense. If you take the position that whatever magical, sky elf you believe in is responsible for one doing well (i.e. god got me that touchdown), then it suggests when things go badly it’s either because magical, sky elf wants that to occur. Or, maybe God just didn’t care because he took the Bills and the points and was going to win regardless.
I picture Him more like Thor than Elf..
I envision God as more of a 49er’s fan.
Being that his son was crucified, too.
I blame God for my shitty job……and my Mother. Why hast thou forsaken me!!!!!
EVERYONE KNOWS GOD LOVES THE STEELERS!!!
All but James Harrison, maybe. lol
“I been sitting here waiting for God to put some balls between my legs. So,far the ball is just laying there. Curse you, God for not giving me the ball(s) like I prayed for!”
“God doesn’t like black people” – Kanye West
pwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
If your going to blame a fictional character for your problems, blame THE fictional character.
I blamed Micky Mouse for a girlfriends unexpected teen pregnancy once and it didn’t exactly work out.
I didn’t shoot hight enough.
Thanks NFL for this valuable lesson.
God “does” him? Does God use lube? Since our Lord is a deity, is he naturally lubricated? Since the father, the son, and the holy ghost are one and the same, can they give each other a reach around? Would this be considered masturbation? We could start a whole new book on these revelations alone. We should call it “Superficials”.
I believe in God, but I doubt he gives a flying fuck about a football game.
God loves football; He just don’t give a damn about the Colts.
God loves football…he just doesn’t like black people.
Great job by Ben Roethlisberger yesterday when he pinned down the Bills defense and forced his touchdowns inside of them.
Wow. Football porn. Daddy like.
Fucking footballs, how do they work?
Nice ICP reference. I can’t believe I just said that.
hehehe
I checked out this guys latest twat. All I can say is wow. Watch out Shakespeare, there is a new writing genius in town!
this superficial guy cant talk without mentioning jessica simpson
If god exists, he definitely hates the Bills, and of course poor people.
That’s because they made a deal with the devil, “just get us to 4 straight super bowls” behind God’s back. But still couldn’t win.
Scott norwood should be proof enuf that God does not care about buffalo
if God hates the Bills; he’s using Detroit for his personal toilet.
No one cares about Buffalo … I mean … IT’S BUFFALO!!!
“I PLAY W/PASSION AND EMOTION! I HURT WEN I DNT MAKE A PLAY BKUZ iKNO THAT’S WHA MY TEAM,FAM,N MY CITIES WANT TO SEE! N THAS A WINs N PLAYS!”
This dude is an idiot and should be banned from any job where he could be perceived as a role model.
Wow, this is the first time I actually watched American football. Except for that small episode in Problem Child.
SOMEONE please tell this young tortured man there is no god, so he can move on.
Seriously. How do you blame someone that hasn’t been proved existence? Now I understand why they keep God so close….to blame him at the end when shit hits the fan.
Actually, I’m so sick of atheletes thanking God for their win (instead of, say, the other players or their coach, or skill or luck) its nice to see the tables turned on God. If God caused you to win, why not blame him when you lose, too? Right on! Just points to the absurdity that God has anything to do with any of it.
True, that is a little refreshing to see. We get enough “Thank you Jesus!!” when people win, It’s nice so see some consistency with a “Fuck you Jesus!!” when someone loses.
yay! more sports stories from The Superficial. This site isn’t that gay afterall.
The Onion is eerily prescient once again: Basketball Star Blames God For Defeat
The Bills were 1-9! What difference did it make!!!!!!!
Loser.
Check that – 2-8.
At least you spelled loser correctly.
As for athletes and entertainers thanking God first and foremost … if I ever win an award I would:
“First I would like to thank Darwin and Evolution for letting my genes evolve into the person I am today…”
God’s too damn busy with Dancing With The Stars to bother with football, or starving kids, or Haiti in general. When will Christians realis/ze this?