After missing a game-winning touchdown against the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday, Steve Johnson, who’s apparently the Kanye West of NFL Tweets, took to Twitter last night where he actually cursed God for not helping him win a football game:
I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…
While people like Steve Johnson and Bristol Palin might start considering theses losses a sign God doesn’t exist, I’m actually becoming more and more convinced he does, and thankfully, is focusing on shit that matters. Like making this happen. Regardless, Steve Johnson clearly has no one to blame but himself here. Unless, of course, this happened:
STEVE: Aight, Lord, I’m gonna throw this bitch at the ground, then you gonna use your magic to make it fly back in my hands. You in?
GOD: I’m in.
STEVE: *watches ball hit the ground*
GOD: Psyche!
UPDATE: Apparently they cool now.
Photos: Getty
brit boys are cool | November 29, 2010 at 7:29 pm
WTF?
brit boys are cool | November 29, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Cool, I haven’t been first with a comment in years. Roll on!
imagen | November 29, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Sorry butterfingers, it’s not God’s fault you can’t even catch a cold. This wasn’t the super bowl, not even close..seeing as your team is 2-9. What a drama queen.
sue | November 29, 2010 at 7:33 pm
I think everyone else is a drama queen for freaking out about his dumb twitter.
imagen | November 29, 2010 at 7:53 pm
I don’t see anyone freaking out. I see people calling out some egocentric prima donna athlete who blames God for his fuck-ups rather than his sub par skills.
sue | November 30, 2010 at 11:24 am
People ARE freaking out because it’s all over the internet. Stupid people tweet stupid shit all day long. WHO CARES.
imagen | November 30, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Apparently you don’t really know what “freaking out” is. When someone of his standing makes a public statement on a public forum and when said statement is FUCKING RETARDED, it’s going to get attention.
CH | November 29, 2010 at 7:31 pm
He should start praying for help with his grammar…
loooooooow | December 1, 2010 at 2:15 pm
HAHA.
Ray Sist | November 29, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Bucket of KFC never would have hit the ground.
FattyFatty2X4 | November 29, 2010 at 7:55 pm
heheehehehe
FattyFatty2X4 | November 29, 2010 at 7:56 pm
That is so worthy of a prize.
Fish, get the K-Y, this man deserves a H-J
s'up bitches | November 29, 2010 at 8:43 pm
LMFAO!
Ricks_Daddy | November 29, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Racists are funny…when you’re 12 with no fucking personality. GTFOH!
guess | November 30, 2010 at 9:21 am
I agree
Al Roker | November 29, 2010 at 7:34 pm
old news is old.
JesseJimmy | November 29, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Black athletes are funny.
zeke | November 29, 2010 at 7:43 pm
guess what Steve……god doesn’t exist. it’s an old wives tale. a work of fiction. you dropped the ball, not some imaginary man in the sky.
kindasketchy | November 29, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Actually, it makes sense. If you take the position that whatever magical, sky elf you believe in is responsible for one doing well (i.e. god got me that touchdown), then it suggests when things go badly it’s either because magical, sky elf wants that to occur. Or, maybe God just didn’t care because he took the Bills and the points and was going to win regardless.
Ash Bones | November 29, 2010 at 8:49 pm
I picture Him more like Thor than Elf..
sobrietyisacrutch | November 30, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I envision God as more of a 49er’s fan.
Being that his son was crucified, too.
s'up bitches | November 29, 2010 at 8:47 pm
I blame God for my shitty job……and my Mother. Why hast thou forsaken me!!!!!
mfb | November 29, 2010 at 8:48 pm
EVERYONE KNOWS GOD LOVES THE STEELERS!!!
imagen | November 29, 2010 at 8:50 pm
All but James Harrison, maybe. lol
Pangulin | November 29, 2010 at 8:54 pm
“I been sitting here waiting for God to put some balls between my legs. So,far the ball is just laying there. Curse you, God for not giving me the ball(s) like I prayed for!”
mcfeely smackup | November 29, 2010 at 10:58 pm
“God doesn’t like black people” – Kanye West
Dante Calamari | November 30, 2010 at 2:20 pm
pwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
s'up bitches | November 29, 2010 at 11:04 pm
God “does” him? Does God use lube? Since our Lord is a deity, is he naturally lubricated? Since the father, the son, and the holy ghost are one and the same, can they give each other a reach around? Would this be considered masturbation? We could start a whole new book on these revelations alone. We should call it “Superficials”.
Amy | November 29, 2010 at 11:09 pm
I believe in God, but I doubt he gives a flying fuck about a football game.
anonymous | November 30, 2010 at 4:08 am
God loves football; He just don’t give a damn about the Colts.
Billy Seatsniffer | November 30, 2010 at 12:23 pm
God loves football…he just doesn’t like black people.
GreatJobFish | November 29, 2010 at 11:11 pm
Great job by Ben Roethlisberger yesterday when he pinned down the Bills defense and forced his touchdowns inside of them.
s'up bitches | November 30, 2010 at 12:55 am
Wow. Football porn. Daddy like.
stinky mcpoop | November 29, 2010 at 11:24 pm
Fucking footballs, how do they work?
Cindy Elmwood | November 29, 2010 at 11:36 pm
Nice ICP reference. I can’t believe I just said that.
beardown | November 30, 2010 at 12:37 am
hehehe
s'up bitches | November 30, 2010 at 12:58 am
I checked out this guys latest twat. All I can say is wow. Watch out Shakespeare, there is a new writing genius in town!
tally | November 30, 2010 at 3:12 am
this superficial guy cant talk without mentioning jessica simpson
erección | November 30, 2010 at 3:54 am
If god exists, he definitely hates the Bills, and of course poor people.
Ash Bones | November 30, 2010 at 5:43 am
That’s because they made a deal with the devil, “just get us to 4 straight super bowls” behind God’s back. But still couldn’t win.
dudeatdudedotdude | November 30, 2010 at 7:40 am
Scott norwood should be proof enuf that God does not care about buffalo
anonymous | November 30, 2010 at 1:14 pm
if God hates the Bills; he’s using Detroit for his personal toilet.
Dante Calamari | November 30, 2010 at 2:21 pm
No one cares about Buffalo … I mean … IT’S BUFFALO!!!
x | November 30, 2010 at 8:34 am
“I PLAY W/PASSION AND EMOTION! I HURT WEN I DNT MAKE A PLAY BKUZ iKNO THAT’S WHA MY TEAM,FAM,N MY CITIES WANT TO SEE! N THAS A WINs N PLAYS!”
This dude is an idiot and should be banned from any job where he could be perceived as a role model.
Doc Schweinstrudel | November 30, 2010 at 8:57 am
Wow, this is the first time I actually watched American football. Except for that small episode in Problem Child.
Keyser Soze | November 30, 2010 at 9:40 am
SOMEONE please tell this young tortured man there is no god, so he can move on.
Bluntologist | November 30, 2010 at 11:01 am
Seriously. How do you blame someone that hasn’t been proved existence? Now I understand why they keep God so close….to blame him at the end when shit hits the fan.
Rick Warren | November 30, 2010 at 11:04 am
Actually, I’m so sick of atheletes thanking God for their win (instead of, say, the other players or their coach, or skill or luck) its nice to see the tables turned on God. If God caused you to win, why not blame him when you lose, too? Right on! Just points to the absurdity that God has anything to do with any of it.
McFeely Smackup | November 30, 2010 at 12:25 pm
True, that is a little refreshing to see. We get enough “Thank you Jesus!!” when people win, It’s nice so see some consistency with a “Fuck you Jesus!!” when someone loses.
steak_knife | November 30, 2010 at 11:39 am
yay! more sports stories from The Superficial. This site isn’t that gay afterall.
booger'd | November 30, 2010 at 12:13 pm
The Onion is eerily prescient once again: Basketball Star Blames God For Defeat
kanyesucks | November 30, 2010 at 1:43 pm
The Bills were 1-9! What difference did it make!!!!!!!
Loser.
kanyesucks | November 30, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Check that – 2-8.
Dante Calamari | November 30, 2010 at 2:23 pm
At least you spelled loser correctly.
As for athletes and entertainers thanking God first and foremost … if I ever win an award I would:
“First I would like to thank Darwin and Evolution for letting my genes evolve into the person I am today…”
Heyzeus Hosay | November 30, 2010 at 4:47 pm
God’s too damn busy with Dancing With The Stars to bother with football, or starving kids, or Haiti in general. When will Christians realis/ze this?