Stephen Hawking Is Still Hoping People Will Show Up To His Time Travel Party In 2009

When we last left Stephen Hawking, he was expressing his desire that the 13th Doctor would be a lady, but alas, the world is a cruel mistress who won’t twirl his limp penis like a helicopter. He’s now moved on to more scientific pursuits like hoping people will eventually show up to his time travel party in 2009 because only a mind like Stephen Hawking’s could possibly envision luring travelers from the future to his house in the past and fucking them on top of a pile of hookers. Information that we should have never been told because there went our entire goddamn morning. You know what’s next.






(If this is the only meaningful contribution I leave behind on this earth, I’m okay with that.)

Photo: Getty