We Fixed Those Stephen Hawking Recordings.
And Possibly Made More.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’…”

On Friday, we posted a bunch of extremely accurate recordings of how Stephen Hawking works them hos down at the sex club by making them hover naked over his lifeless body a.k.a. the pimpest shit you’ve ever heard in your life. Unfortunately Chrome sharts the bed at the first sign of an audio embed, so a couple of you had some issues loading the page. But after tinkering around, we snagged a hold of the SoundCloud HTML5 player which should serenade your ears with the sweet, robotic timbre of a crippled physicist demanding he sees some labia dangling above his nose. So those are now fixed if you want to swing back for a listen, and there might also be some new ones after the jump because the second we traveled down this fucked up path there was no turning back, and I seriously wish I was joking. Once you make a robot voice command strippers/prostitutes you don’t want to do anything else but make a robot voice command strippers/prostitutes. It is our gift, our curse…

Side Note: I’m off for the day to celebrate my birthday (And, yes, this is how I decided to spend it so far.), but you’re in the smooth, soft delicate hands of Photo Boy and I’m not just saying that because his job requirement involves wearing a glove full of vaseline. He was born with a natural nimble.. ness? Nimblety? He’s ambidextrous is the main point here.

- The Superficial










Photo: Getty