Stephen Hawking Visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Alleged Underage Hooker Island

Before we get into our bullshit post where we make a man’s robot voice talk about hookers, yesterday 12 employees of Charlie Hebdo magazine in Paris were killed over satirical cartoons – cartoons – by one of the most dangerous combinations in the world: Someone with a god and a gun. Their motivation was to silence through fear (In America we call it, “Your first amendment right is about to bump up against my second.”), and for a moment it worked as newspapers scrambled to blur images. But then people far more relevant and eloquent than us began to speak out on the power of satire: Former editors of The Onion, Salman Rushdie, Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart, and Tina Fey who put it bluntly: We have the right to make dumb jokes. Specifically about powerful institutions like religion, politicians or the wealthy like billionaire Jeffrey Epstein who’s in some shit thanks to accusations that he’s been allegedly stocking his private island with underage hookers. An island that’s apparently been visited by renowned physicist, and sex club fanatic, Stephen Hawking who were not saying was there to partake in underage prostitutes as much as we’re making stupid recordings of if he did. As for why I felt the need to tie that to an act of terrorism that left people dead who refused to be censored by religion while we’re a shitty dick joke and titty blog, satire pays my rent? Is that appropriate to say? What about satire lets me wear jammies to work? The Man hates that.

Big Wheel On Jailbait Island (You know what you did, Chase)

Dedicated to Charlie Hebdo. Your balls were bigger than ours will ever be.

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