Stephen Colbert Is Replacing David Letterman
(R.I.P. Colbert Report)

April 10th, 2014 // 26 Comments
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Hey, do you like Colbert Report? Well, fuck you, it’s over. It’s all over because CBS just announced Stephen Colbert as David Letterman‘s successor for The Late Show which means his Comedy Central show will end at the of 2014 when his contract was up. Although on the bright side, he’s bringing the entire staff and crew with him and started things off with this statement. Via Entertainment Weekly:

“Simply being a guest on David Letterman’s show has been a highlight of my career,” Colbert said. “I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave’s lead. I’m thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.”

When reached for comment, Jimmy Fallon sang a silly song then laughed hysterically at his own jokes. It got 8 million hits on YouTube.

Photo: Comedy Central

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  1. brick

    Great choice!

  2. Bryan

    This sucks. There’s no way he’ll be allowed to keep an edge on CBS or do what made the Colbert Report so good. Way too much celebrity pandering and fellating and watered down jokes for olds. RIP Colbert Report. RIP. :-(

    • JC

      Yup. I mean, good for him, I guess, but this means brilliant satire will now be replaced with listening to Lohan lie about being sober.

  3. Please tell me this isn’t true. I need my Colbert Report. This fucking sucks.

  4. Everything I love is coming to an end. Undertaker’s streak (though to be fair, if anyone could’ve ended that streak it was Lesnar. That guy can beat anybody) and now Colbert Report. This fucking sucks.

  5. P.T.S. Potential Trouble Source

    An absolute comedic and interview genius that just got turned into CBS/primetime P.C. Bullshit, R.I.P.

  6. Kevolution

    Perfect choice.

  7. banner man

    Ah shit….good luck to him but I personally won’t watch …can’t stand “interviews” of vapid cunts…

  8. malaka

    if he goes forward with being colbert and no longer as the beloved caricature of himself, colbEAR, i hope that he will start doing what george lowe used to do when he was playing tad ghostal on space ghost coast to coast.
    the greatest late night talk show since carson’s tonight show.
    and by that i mean, talking over and interrupting any interviewee attempting to plug or promote whatever project in which they are involved.
    because fuck the whole publicity tour grind.
    we just wanna see stupid human/pet tricks.
    you know.. just people getting hurt or breaking stuff for the sole purpose of comedy and entertainment.

  9. Cock Dr

    What’s funny is that right now this is the number one news story in America. Priorities!

  10. Doozer

    Should of went to Conan

  11. I have a little hope, because CBS let Letterman have a bit of fun at his interview subjects – remember when he made Paris Hilton cry? I really hope they afford Colbert a little bit of that.

  12. NutSlut

    To be fair, what can they do if he goes off the reservation and starts scalping people?

    Kick him back to his own show with an insane ratings boost and a good two months worth of preening and jokes about how CBS can suck a bag of dicks?

  13. what a shame. however, would any of us pass up a 500% pay raise to be a little more boring?

  14. Dox

    I feel like this, much the same way I feel about my sunburn nose peeling:
    …..

  15. Kyle Cockington

    Does this mean they found Malaysia flight 347?

  16. UGH, what a waste of talent.

  17. marquitos

    I’m gonna miss the Colbert Report and of course, David. And happy birthday on april 12th.

  18. Robb7

    If he interviews Kim K. as brilliantly as Letterman did (insulted her right to her face while she giggled like the idiot she is), he’s okay with me. But will miss his comic genius on the Comedy Channel.

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