Stephen Colbert Is A Satirical Jesus

For those of you, like myself, who live life glued to a glowing screen, shunning the outside world with its harsh sunlight and damnable fresh air, you probably caught wind of the horseshit #CancelColbert “controversy” which should’ve been written off the second it was endorsed by Michelle Malkin and her right-wing hack site Twitchy that equates retweeting an Onion article with thinking it’s real. /axegrind So here’s Stephen Colbert absolutely murdering his response while brilliantly pissing all over the media, Twitter and Comedy Central. Never in my life will I do anything this brilliant even counting that time I had sex with a Rhodes Scholar which never happened, and now I don’t know why I just said that. *retreats to hovel*

Stephen Colbert Responds To #CancelColbert – March 31, 2014

[Ed. Note: I’d embed this, but Comedy Central videos have a tendency to autoplay which some of you will react to with the same, if not more, vitriol as if I raped a family member. As you should. – SW]