Stella McCartney throws Gwyneth Paltrow a baby shower

February 17th, 2006 // 236 Comments

stella-babyshower.jpgBritish designer Stella McCartney threw a baby shower for Gwyneth Paltrow last week, treating her and a group of friends to an afternoon of pampering courtesy of London spa Aroma Me. According to In Touch magazine, the spa’s owner, Kirstie Garrett, came along to personally ensure that everybody got the very best aromatic treatments. It’s too bad they didn’t go with my idea, which was an afternoon filled with taking turns punching Gwyneth Paltrow in the stomach. You know, because pregnant people love it when you do that.


  1. Kate

    Seriously? We’re having an abortion discussion? Yikes. Have fun with that. I’ll be moving on to a different topic.

  2. lysistrata11

    Congrats jugs…I might be there with ya. Not sure yet though but there’s always hoping.

  3. LaydeeBug

    Who here has ever had a Brazillian Bikini Wax? (show of hands)

  4. lysistrata11


  5. My wife is pregnant, so I limit the punching to her face. To all those who are pregnant, or have had kids: When do you find out the sex? She is 17 weeks right now.

  6. manunited

    oh boy, having that Brazialian done reminded me of my 21st Birthday… tits up drunk, legs flailing, writhing in pain but really enjoying it.

  7. lysistrata11

    Hand tucked firmly against side. Ow!

  8. Muffin

    So far there’s been one person, lysistrata11, who actually said something about what I asked. So for the rest of you: I’ll leave you to your funny jokes on this about getting wasted and human or other creatures’ genitals. As far as what this website’s for? Well, it seems like you all have the operation on lockdown and you are only willing to accept people who are way past 21 (manunited) but still seem to want to spend their days thinking about completely pointless nonsense. #92 people’s opinions don’t change because a piece of law gets enacted, they change because real people in real situations decide to think about them.

  9. PapaHotNuts

    Congratulation Jugs. I’m in a similar situation with the respect that it is possible that I may have knocked a girl up. Let’s hope not! Hate to have to punch a bitch!

  10. foosball

    if i went to Gwenny’s baby shower i don’t think i would join the group dishing out body blows to her tummy. no, i would have simply given her a rusty coat hanger for a gift…she would have probably left the party because she would’ve known what needed to be done

  11. iamboredatwork

    Oh #99 I am only joking get a life if you are taking this shit seriously. I feel sorry for you if posts from this site really upset you that much. Come on!

  12. lysistrata11

    “So all you bible thumping Bush supporters take it up with him to stop it from happening instead of wasting your time on a silly website. Use your time constructively. I think you all forgot that this website is called the Anyone who takes that too seriously needs to get a life.”

    Hey that was a good joke. You should definitely try stand up. You’ve already got the “making fun of religion and political figures” part of it down pat. You just need to make racial and sexist jokes now. Ugh.

  13. PapaHotNuts

    I don’t like how Muffin commented on “creature’s genitals.” in post #108 Obviously referring to my “Whale’s Vagina” ccomment on post #90.

    Whales aren’t creatures, they are mammals just like you. So they to, can have abortions.

  14. Muffin

    #110 says “she would’ve known what needed to be done.” Funny, because I thought the whole mantra was a woman’s “choice?” Who knew this choice was necessary. Maybe she’d have done well not to have put herself in that position, but once she had I don’t think that there’s any necessity binding her to stick a coat hanger into her body to destroy the unfortunate “products of conception.” Some choices maybe shouldn’t be made. Hitler was “free” to slaughter millions of innocents but was this true freedom?

  15. Muffin

    Last time I checked a whale was a creature. Mammals are creatures. Although now that I say that a creature implies a creator, so maybe you’re denying that there’s one of those? Well, either way, whether created by God or by some unknown force in the universe, something “created” whales so they, like you and I, are creatures.

  16. How’s this for turning the tables.

    Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb.

  17. playahater101

    Muffin, you wannaknow what the difference is? Being punched in the stomach probably isn’t the CHOICE of the woman, but an abortion is a CHOICE. I personally would not do it, but I do not think a government has a right to dictate that either.

    But I’m pretty sure that the punching her in the stomach thing was a JOKE. I have 2 kids and I really wasn’t offended by it at all. Muffin, I am very happy that you have formed your own opinion and didn’t follow your friends, but you really need to breath and relax. Don’t take this site too far. It’s only for fun.

    By the way, at 21 I was pregnant with my first kid. And I thought about an abortion but I couldn’t go through with it. But that’s me personally. I don’t have the right to tell other people what to do and neither does anyone else.

    I think we should all just turn away from this story and focus on making more fun of Michael Jackson and Kelly Osbourne. Cause that’s what we all do best. Leave the politics and personal views for the people at home.

  18. jugsgirl

    was it u that knocked me up? where were u about 6 months ago? did u knock up lysistrata11 too?

    thanks for all the congrats! maybe ill name the baby after muffin!

  19. lysistrata11

    115—omg. I thought you were done but now I see you’re only dragging out another bag of crap to talk about.

    Hey, I know, let’s make a list of all of the random shit you’ve brought up today.
    1-abortion and the laws concerning it
    2-C.S. Lewis and childrens’ fiction
    3-abortion clinic bombings
    5-God and religion
    6-creatures and what the term implies

    I felt like I was just counting down on Letterman only this list wasn’t going anywhere! And especially not anywhere funny! Why do you keep redirecting to new topics of irrelevance?

  20. PapaHotNuts

    We were created by God (as the whale’s were) which binds us through creation. I agree. Therefore we are all technically creatures. I agree with you again. Since we (as in humans) create life through chilbirth, our children are creatures. But man also created the Rubic’s Cube, and I can’t figure that fuckin creature out. So if man created the Rubic’s Cube, am I related to that peice of shit? I hope not, cause that things sucks cock.

  21. jugsgirl

    hey fatty,
    u can find out the sex as early as 20 weeks (5 months).

  22. lysistrata11

    116- I just pictured it and it was very disturbing. Just like most of his movies….

  23. playahater101

    LaydeeBug, you make me laugh. You are just too funny with your comments. I’m glad you don’t take this all too seriously. It’s all in fun, right? I also hate Bush, like BUSH and trim mine all the way down.

    #116 you are too funny, too. That’s why we all come here. for a laugh. Not for all this serious crap.

  24. PapaHotNuts

    And jugs, I could have knocked you up. It’s just that I go through more pussy than an OBGYN. I can’t keep count. But if the baby comes out really handsome with a huge penis, it definitely ain’t mine. Sorry.

  25. tipsymcstagger

    #82 LMAO

    Muffin – get over your sanctimonious self and go enlist in Randall Terry’s Anti-Choice God squad and concentrate on blowing up abortion clinics or painting your “Fags go to Hell” signs. I’m over you. Seriously – if you’re so passionate – take it to a place where it counts. And I swear if you ask the asinine “Punching a pregant woman in the stomach vs. abortion” question one more time I’m going to figure out a way real fast to actually climb into my computer and virtually punch YOU in the stomach.

  26. iamboredatwork

    Lysistrata11 or whatever the hell you call you self see what a hypocrite you are my darling:

    In one of your stupid posts you stated: Hey that was a good joke. You should definitely try stand up. You’ve already got the “making fun of religion and political figures” part of it down pat. You just need to make racial and sexist jokes now. Ugh.

    Then in another one of your mindless comments you post:

    Why do you keep redirecting to new topics of irrelevance?

    Aren’t you being a bit of a hypocrite? You are the one that is redirecting to new topics of irrelevance by posting:You just need to make racial and sexist jokes now. Ugh

    You really should think about how stupid you sound before posting. FYI-

  27. I know how to settle this. A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

  28. LaydeeBug

    Whales used to walk the earth. I’ve been known to suck co*k.

    Amoebas are single celled organisms as are zygotes during the first millionth of a second (0.0000001 x 10 -6).

    There was a punk band that had a song called “Amoeba.”

    And YOU GOT IT, the Superfish is a site for random nonsensical postings that sometimes have no relevance to each other.

  29. LaydeeBug

    PAPA don’t preach, I’m keeping your baby.

    (Is it wrong that I’m still turned on by this posting?)

  30. jugsgirl

    i’d like to place my bet for the death fight’s winner — tipsymcstagger – I truly believe tipsy will soon figure out the secrets of crawling through the computer to punch people.

    Runners Up -
    Man U (red bulls gave him wings) +
    Chuck Norris

  31. mamacita

    Is anyone else tired after reading this? I’m going to take a nap.

  32. jugsgirl

    Papa knocked up LadeeBug, lysistrata11, me, fatty’s wife and Katie Holmes?

    HotNuts produce supersperm?

  33. LaydeeBug

    Jugs, were you in that movie with Bill Cosby driving the ambulance? Are YOU Raquel Welch? OMG (squeals) can I have your autograph….

    I love ya Jugs….you a funny lady!

  34. lysistrata11


    Lysistrata is a woman with common sense from a Greek play so yes, that is what I wish to call myself. You, unfortunately, were not blessed with common sense. I have not barraged anyone with irrelevant topics such as, but not limited to, politics, abortion, whale genitalia, bombings, pubic hair, religion, or dog names. These are not all bad things and not all from one source but they prove my point.

    You, iamboredatwork “or whatever the hell you call you self” (fabulous typing skills by the way), can’t understand the concept of making a statement and then a sarcastic sentence afterward for effect. The latter sentence did not begin a new irrelevant topic, it emphasized the previous comment.

    I made one comment: “#92…Why did you have to go into Bible-thumping Bush mode? Can someone please reboot the non-thinking machine? Maybe it’s the batteries or something…” and you freaked out and went into overdrive. Why don’t you take your own advice and get a life. You said, “Use your time constructively. I think you all forgot that this website is called the” Try remembering that next time you go over the deep end.

    “You really should think about how stupid you sound before posting.”

  35. lysistrata11

    Well at least I know who my baby daddy is now. Whew. When can I expect that first support check?

  36. LaydeeBug

    Lysis, what play was that? I love Greek stuff.

  37. LaydeeBug

    When I say “stuff” I mean men.

  38. Baroness

    I’m all sweaty after reading this.

  39. LaydeeBug

    Baroness, I….I….I’m in a state and have no outlet for it right now. I wonder if the bathroom’s empty, hmmmm…..

  40. lysistrata11

    Ew. Whenever I think of Greek men, I think of that hairy guy on James Bond. Maybe that guy could give Kelly Osbourne a hair transplant? Just a thought. But the play is Lysistrata by Aristophanes. Brilliant guy..but he’s dead now so I don’t think you want him.

  41. LaydeeBug

    I think of Costas and Louis Mandylor and this gorgeous guy I used to bang back in Boston. Mmmmm, bang.

    Was it a Myth or what?

  42. Astriastar

    I can’t believe how a non-story spawned such a melee.


  43. iamboredatwork

    I would like to thank Listerine 11 for making my day. I am ONLY joking with you. You need to not take life so seriously it is way to short. If you are getting this upset over a stupid website I don’t know how you handle real life problems LOL! Lets keep it fun and make fun of each other and stupid topics! Loosen up babe!

  44. LaydeeBug

    Here’s a fun little bit of heaven.

  45. lysistrata11

    “Then in another one of your mindless comments you post”
    “You really should think about how stupid you sound before posting. FYI”
    “Lysistrata11 or whatever the hell you call you self see what a hypocrite you are my darling”

    Yes, I can see how these comments would be used in a joking context.
    P.S. Don’t call people “babe”, it makes you sound like a nasty 50-year old perv in a strip club.

  46. tipsymcstagger

    jugsgirl…thanks for the faith. ;-) Still working on it but the whole space/time continuum ‘thingie’ is harder than I thought. Any ideas?

  47. dinella24

    I’m still brushing my cat….he’s so furry.

  48. lysistrata11

    Those pictures just made me hope a little bit that I’m not pregnant. The women looked quite uncomfortable… :/

  49. lysistrata11

    Not that having a 7 lb. baby stretching and kicking inside could ever be very comfortable…

  50. PapaHotNuts

    Ladyeebug, FYI, I impregnated every women on that link. You run a risk of pregnany by just responding to my posts (ManU excluded).

    And lysistrata, your check is in the mail.

    It’s officially Miller Time in Baton Rouge excuse me while I drink.

    I’m curious to know what some of you do for a living. Let the rest of us in on how you have so much time on your hands. No made up jobs like Porn star or NASCAR driver because I do both of those and I’ve never seen you at the office.

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