Stella McCartney throws Gwyneth Paltrow a baby shower

February 17th, 2006 // 236 Comments

stella-babyshower.jpgBritish designer Stella McCartney threw a baby shower for Gwyneth Paltrow last week, treating her and a group of friends to an afternoon of pampering courtesy of London spa Aroma Me. According to In Touch magazine, the spa’s owner, Kirstie Garrett, came along to personally ensure that everybody got the very best aromatic treatments. It’s too bad they didn’t go with my idea, which was an afternoon filled with taking turns punching Gwyneth Paltrow in the stomach. You know, because pregnant people love it when you do that.

superficial

  1. latenitewetground

    I love reading your site…a good laugh here and there. But this, not only was it a ridiculously boring story to write about in the first place, but personally i think you took it too far in saying that basically we should kill the little, well, fetus. I’m all for making fun of celebrities. Even the repetitve to the point of tiresome jokes about druggin models put a sinful smile on my face. However, when it’s about causing a miscarriage, essentially murdering a kid who hasn’t done anything entertainingly stupid yet, it’s bordering on either: really soulless, or having such bad writer’s block that you could find nothing else to write about but a baby shower and a one line joke about killing an unborn baby.

  2. Browchay

    good point .. but to be fair, I’m sure he’d wait until the baby was born. To do otherwise would be very unsporting.

  3. QueenH

    Dude that was SO not cool. And I friggin’ hate Gywneth Paltrow. This site has OFFICIALLY reached a new low.

  4. Sundance0104

    I agree…taken too far on this one guys.

  5. AmberDextrose

    Oh, was he, like, serious? I thought that bit was just a lame joke.

    Anyways, why would you go with the stomach when her head was so more inviting?

    Pregnant stomachs kick back too hard.

  6. CheekyChops

    Looks like someone has been giving Stella a few round house kicks to the face.

  7. asbo

    Its also missing the point. If we start punching celebs in the stomach and making them miscarry = no baby celebs to grow up and make arses of themselves = no more theSuperficial. See the BIGGER picture guys.

  8. Zanna

    I agree with #1 – the story isn’t even newsworthy but the comment about taking turns punching her in the stomach is bottom line – wrong. I’m hoping it was late night writer’s block or an incident of drinking and typing.

  9. Sangiovese

    In related, equally uninteresting, news:

    -Elizabeth Taylor Blows Her Nose
    -Paris Hilton Dances on a Table in Some Club
    -Madonna Takes Her Kids on a Walk
    -Scott Stapp Gets Drunk

    I mean, are we THAT hard up for news guys? Who’s throwing Gwyneth a baby shower? I’m pretty sure that fits squarely in the “Who Gives a Sh*t” category.

  10. Tracy

    See how nauseous Gwyn looks in this picture? It’s because smells make pregnant women sick to their stomachs!! If someone had given me an aromatherapy baby shower, I’d have yakked all over the place. Torture!

  11. Sangiovese

    Also, pretty messed up the thing about kicking her prego belly. She’s mopey looking enough as it is without having to worry about folks roundhouse kicking her yet-to-be-born kid.

    BAD JOKE: had someone done that to her when she was pregnant with her first kid, would they have made “Apple Sauce”?

  12. youareachief

    I agree with the above. While it is unclear whether you dislike Gwyneth Paltrow or whether you are just attempting to make a joke, either way it’s beyond the line. Such references to any unborn child, even if it’s the spawn of TomKat, would still generate sympathy from your readers.
    Don’t get me wrong, I normally LMAO at the shit you write, but this isn’t funny. Keep up the usual work, though!

  13. asbo

    They would have had to change the name of the band to Coldpuree aswell.

  14. iamboredatwork

    The thing that pisses me off the most about this story is that this is Gwen’s second friggin kid. You don’t throw a shower for a second kid and on top of it she has more money than God. Why the hell does she need a second shower?

  15. Yeah, come on guys a joke about a miscarriage…That is tasteless and rude. A joke about the party guests all chipping in for an abortion would have been the safer bet, and the route I would have went.

  16. TeamLacheyRools

    oooh dude , sooooo not cool. Over the line there i think. Otherwise the site rocks. But this…..its a big NO

  17. mamacita

    Hmm, I think everyone’s getting a little too offended by something that’s obviously a joke. It’s not like he actually means to punch her in the stomach, and besides, all the stories on here are usually vaguely (or not so vaguely) offensive, but that’s what makes them so funny. I’ll agree that this is a pretty lameass story and that it’s not up to the standard of the usual witty repartee one can find here, but geez, maybe it’s a slow news day. Scott Stapp and Kid Rock can’t make a sex video EVERY day.

  18. HeeHaw

    What’s sad is the way that people can’t just say “HEY, MAKING JOKES ABOUT KICKING PREGNANT WOMEN IN THE STOMACH ISN’T FUNNY”…period. Without having to throw in “But I love your site!” or “but normally I laugh my ass off at your stuff” or “but other than that, keep up the good work….

    Why? Because everybody’s worried about the backlash of doing that, so they have to sugar coat it and wrap it with a compliment. F*** the people who would jump down your throat for saying it like it is. Their responses are so predictable at this point, so seriously, f*** ‘em. If it’s not funny…then it’s not funny. Speak your mind, don’t wrap it in a compliment, don’t sugar coat it. And don’t worry about the backlash from the gang of rabid idiots who are sure to pounce on you with their same old tired schtick they use on everybody who points out when something isn’t funny, or went over the line, etc. F*** ‘em. If they don’t like you pointing that out, too f***** bad for them.

  19. PapaHotNuts

    I might be the trashiest person to post on this site on a daily basis, but I can’t make myself joke about this one. I do hate Coldplay though. I could kick that Martin guy in the stomach all day. Hope that makes someone feel better.

  20. IslandGirl

    There’s a difference between witty and tasteless. Readers have a right to express dissatisfaction with stupid/boring/tasteless/off-colour jokes. The writers must be all out of material if the punchline of the ‘joke’ is punching a pregnant woman in the stomach. This site is beginning to suck more and more everyday. Superficial, what happened to you??

  21. Why are all of you acting like Tipper Gore?

  22. Koggi

    Damn! I used to love this site but this post just gave me severe morning sickness. Seriously, I am pregnant…and not sure if I’ll read this site ever again.

  23. Zanna

    Because Fatty, we come here to be entertained and to have fun venting and bashing. That joke just went beyond. But that’s just my opinion and you know what they say about opinions:

    Opinions are like assholes, everyone has got one!!

    Anyway, here is a story that didn’t make headlines. Probably for a reason – it’s not super exciting but more exciting than a baby-shower: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/391940p-332278c.html

  24. LaydeeBug

    (sigh) No comment.

  25. amma

    …Uh, sick and not funny.
    BUT, I totally hate Coldplay! I used to like them…then they started getting precious–and not in a good way. The Grammy’s made me want to see Chris Martin…bite the head off a rat or something.
    I mean, how freaking serious can one person take themselves. He makes Bono look humble.

  26. Realistic

    Oh, like his reference to “giving the baby a golden shower” was any better!

  27. lebowski

    OK so Tipper Gore told me this funny joke.

    What’s the best thing about having sex w/a pregnant lady?
    You get your dick sucked at the same time!

    Chris Martin would appreciate that.

  28. First creating a mute parapalegic, and then punching a pregnant woman in the stomach? What kind of rage are you on?? Very uncool.

  29. LaydeeBug

    I think it’s funny how Superficial dangles the bait (like the line “punching her in the stomach) and so many folk take it.

    Either he’s a genius or people are just too easy.

  30. HeeHaw

    Fucking idiot writers on this site. Gee, didn’t they think that any of the readers would be, oh, I don’t know, PARENTS? Women who’ve carried babies themselves, or guys who are dads…with wives who gave them those kids? “Hey! Let’s joke about kicking pregnant women in the stomach! It’s not like I had a mom that gave birth to me, or like any of the readers have ever had kids themselves!”

  31. HeeHaw

    I’ve been looking for a good excuse to stop coming here and to stop reading celeb gossip blogs when I’m bored.

    Just found my reason. Thanks. SEE ya.

    Btw…half the time, the posters comments are funnier than the writers.

    Just an observation.

  32. Jayne

    -yawn-

    Anything funny happen at ze baby shower?
    Did Gwen make a ridiculous comment about the US?
    No?

    Well why the hell mention this?

  33. I guess the only SAFE jokes now-a-days are Knock-Knock jokes. And talk about jumping on the band wagon of hate, why didn’t anyone jump on mine when I tried to start a comment racial war? Fucking Democrats.

  34. Average

    Keep making me laugh Superficial, youre good at it and its why I keep coming back.

  35. manunited

    One by one the unfunny & the boring will leave & the funny can keep on keeping on…

  36. Tracy

    If someone threw ME an aromatherapy baby shower I’d kick THEM in the stomach. I was so sensitive to smell when I was pregnant I threw a chicken pot pie my husband had in the oven out the back door. He was not amused, but I couldn’t handle the smell.

  37. drinkthebones

    i laughed out loud @ the pregnant belly punching thing. although i personally find a good toss down the stairs much more rewarding.

  38. LaydeeBug

    Oh Man U, you’re just silly!

  39. dinella24

    Wow…and I brushed my cat last night! NEXT..

  40. Muffin

    I completely agree with what seems to be the predominant opinion about this post that, besides being tasteless and inappropriate, it was also a bit on the horrifying end. To suggest that a pregnant woman should be punched in the stomach because she typically appears as a B**** in her public persona is awful. I have to say, though, that I was somewhat surprised by the volume of comments from this point of view. How many of you are in favor of abortion? My understanding is that most young people these days are pro-choice. I don’t really see what the difference is between the suggestion to punch a pregnant lady in the stomach, which is (rightfully) treated as a type of homicide, and having a “doctor” surgically dismember the frailest members of society in their most vulnerable state. Maybe someone here can clarify these delicate distinctions…

  41. foosball

    99% of the time this site is funny as hell so i’m willing to forgive a lame celeb story with a baby punching joke

  42. For crying outloud. It’s a joke, ha-ha, get it…It has nothing to do with abortion. And for the record, I do belive that some Pro-Life activists blew up a womens clinic. That is what you call terrorism. I am Pro-Life, have the kid and give it Angelina’s orphange.

  43. mags

    Sure, punching a pregnant woman in the stomach and having an abortion are exactly the same thing.

    Just like how it’s totally the same thing if someone cuts my leg off with a chainsaw and a doctor amputates.

    Abortion debate: GO!

  44. Muffin

    Jokes, yes, ha ha, funny. There are fringe people who represent beliefs no matter what the beliefs happen to be, so you can’t take some people who blew up a clinic and distribute that mentality to all pro-life people. You’d also have to ask, “were there people in the clinic when they blew it up?” If not, they would have been destroying a facility, not human people, which is what the facility is designed to do anyways. Not that I’m necessarily an advocate of going around and blowing things up, I’m an advocate of being clear on what the facts are. But the point I’m trying to make is that if there is such an outcry at this “joke,” would the same people say the same thing about what happens every day in your friendly neighborhood abortion clinic? The website is designed to make people laugh, the comments feature is there for those of us who might have something more to say… what’s the problem?

  45. LaydeeBug

    All RIGHT, another fight! Go, go, go. Abortion, tummy punches, and amputation sounds like the makings of a very heated round-table.

    And……..GO!

  46. tis GLAM

    huh? Gwenyth is preggers again??

    ~lost~

  47. Muffin

    It’s not about fighting, it’s about thinking.

  48. LaydeeBug

    Well, I told you, SUPERFICIAL is a genius.

    Ohhhh, the passion!

    I’m typing with my toes now ‘cuz this is really turning me on. Where’s my rabbit?

  49. innit

    Considering the myriads of vile, cruel things I have read on this site from posters, I can’t believe so many people would get this up in arms about a lame comment re: punching a pregnant lady in the stomach. Considering the line that follows, it should be clear as day to anyone with half an eye that the writer was being sarcastic. And anyway, this site is about being just WRONG — that’s what I like about it.

  50. LaydeeBug

    No offense, really, but I don’t come here to think. I am tired of thinking and I just want to goof off.

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