Welcome to our latest caption gallery featuring a cavalcade of celebrities who decided why look beautiful when you can stuff your face, smoke a mountain of crack or stop paying for routine plastic surgery maintenance? Fortunately for them, natural talent is all you need to survive. – - Ha ha ha! Just kidding, they’re screwed.
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Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
 Why Was This Celebrity Booed Off This Hit TV Show? – Fox News | |
| 50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
first | February 24, 2009 at 8:03 am
yum
Maggie From Buffalo | February 24, 2009 at 8:06 am
Im sorry, people were saying that the outfit did nothing for her and that was the reason she looked so big, BUT, how do you explain that her arms doubled in size as well?
Brandi | February 24, 2009 at 8:06 am
Woody Harrelson is still sweet.
Ryan Seawave | February 24, 2009 at 8:16 am
You should do a with and without make-up special too.
I think it’s good for today’s kids to see why you wake up with an ugly bird when the night before you went to bed with a stunner.
Its not always about the beer goggles. This should be a warning to all men who are about to get married. Be very aware that if you dont keep an eye on the twinkies in the fridge then you too could end up marrying Paris Hilton only to find her turn into Paris Motel 8
Sissy | February 24, 2009 at 8:20 am
I’m her big fan. I have invited over 5.000 fans to a celebrity&millionaire romance site called’ MillMatch. C O M ‘ we built a big fan club for her at the forum, it is very hot, guys, let`s join if you are her fan too.
linda | February 24, 2009 at 8:22 am
Hey, I’m an open minded girl from UK, I’m interested in exotic things, photography, dating and sports…I have my photos on — T a l l h u b.C o m —, I love tall guys!
Do you love traveling and have some experience? Just find me out.
beefytee | February 24, 2009 at 8:24 am
I think Lara Flynn Boyle may have cancer. That kind of moon face is indicative of a steroid that is often administered to try and shrink cancer cells.
I could be wrong, and for her sake I hope I am…maybe she’s got really bad asthma, but she’s definitely on some kind of steroid.
Ted Kennedy's Tumor | February 24, 2009 at 8:24 am
Brittney will always be hot. You know who is hot, it’s that girl from “The Big Bang Theory”. WAY HOT!
Meh | February 24, 2009 at 8:26 am
I still prefer the new Jessica..
Savalas | February 24, 2009 at 8:32 am
With some of these older clowns…the fact that they’re still alive after a couple decades of hard-living should count for something good.
Dooly_J | February 24, 2009 at 8:35 am
Sorry, but If that picture of Woody is indicative of how he looks now, he’s aging VERY well.
Lionel Mandrake | February 24, 2009 at 8:37 am
Alright – I laughed out loud at the “chimney sweep” line.
P.S. I had no idea Helena Bonham Carter had transformed into a bag lady. My word.
RichPort's Ghost | February 24, 2009 at 8:42 am
My before and after pictures from 10 years ago and now are identical. Because I am the Highlander.
myself | February 24, 2009 at 8:42 am
Your captions, even if I don’t agree with all of them, were really laugh-out-loud funny today. Great job!
sam | February 24, 2009 at 8:51 am
I’d totally still hit that and be happy to have the privilege. If you dont think shes hot anymore you need to re-attach your balls or grow a new pair.
Ed | February 24, 2009 at 8:54 am
Superficial Writer,
I can’t believe I wasted three minutes of my time reading this.
Thanks,
Ed
Chuck | February 24, 2009 at 8:59 am
Not sure who the previous poster is referring to (although clearly it can’t be Britney Spears who really needs to fall down an elevator shaft) but I agree with Woody. He doesn’t belong on this list at all. He actually looks better now, despite his male pattern baldness.
CakeSniffer | February 24, 2009 at 9:01 am
The before and after really isn’t that different except for some arm wattles…
shalita | February 24, 2009 at 9:02 am
Ed,
I can’t believe you wasted 45 more seconds of your time writing that post.
Thanks,
Shalita
on another note, these were hilarious…
CakeSniffer | February 24, 2009 at 9:04 am
And Winehouse was always a hound, but it became more obvious when she stopped bathing.
bubba | February 24, 2009 at 9:07 am
#8 ur right! but she was kinda heavy in the first season. fat isn’t incurable!!
milfs | February 24, 2009 at 9:11 am
Like girls with cute butt!!!
know what? hot girls I met on ++++ Agelessmate. c o m ++++ are the most beautiful thing in this world I ever seen.btw, it’s the place where hot cougars, sexy chicks, handsome young men meet and mingle, become friends and even more!! lol
sliskdi | February 24, 2009 at 9:11 am
I found a great place “”"”" http://millionaireclub.zoomshare.com/files/mm2.htm “”"”"” It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
milfs | February 24, 2009 at 9:12 am
Like girls with cute butt!!!
know what? hot girls I met on ++++ Agelessmate. c o m ++++ are the most beautiful thing in this world I ever seen.btw, it’s the place where hot cougars, sexy chicks, handsome young men meet and mingle, become friends and even more!! lol
Rae. | February 24, 2009 at 9:13 am
um, K Fed is a star? What the feck.
milfs | February 24, 2009 at 9:16 am
Like girls with cute butt!!!
know what? hot girls I met on ++++ Agelessmate. c o m ++++ are the most beautiful thing in this world I ever seen.btw, it’s the place where hot cougars, sexy chicks, handsome young men meet and mingle, become friends and even more!! lol
robert | February 24, 2009 at 9:16 am
Is that really Whitney Houston? Holy crap!
CandyO Poetess and Artist | February 24, 2009 at 9:22 am
Poor Jessica is now a fat dumb blimp!
This is my pic ,-”`-.
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I made of Amy Winehouse:
Johnnygoodtimes | February 24, 2009 at 9:30 am
I liked this post better when it was on nothingRelevant.com 2 weeks ago!
(http://www.nothingrelevant.com/monkey-clown/2009-fashion-prediction-fat-is-still-the-new-black/)
tobox | February 24, 2009 at 9:31 am
Yeah, I HATE IT when 20 years of time passes! Yuck!
havoc | February 24, 2009 at 9:32 am
I would pound Jessica’s ass in both those photos.
Any hetero male would….
.
Fluffy Butt | February 24, 2009 at 9:34 am
@ 3
AGREED! And fish .. you could have pulled out a “better” worse pic of Crackhouse.
Fluffy Butt | February 24, 2009 at 9:34 am
@ 3
AGREED! And fish .. you could have pulled out a “better” worse pic of Crackhouse.
RichPort's Ghost | February 24, 2009 at 9:35 am
Candy O, I have a sneaky suspicion you are the seventh sign…
Deacon Jones | February 24, 2009 at 9:41 am
Holy shit, Whitney looks like she belongs in a Natural History museum on display….
@7 I was thinking the same thing, it looks like someone punched her in the jaw.
Jrz | February 24, 2009 at 9:55 am
FUCK!!!!!
*furiously brews gallon of green tea, jumps onto treadmill and stairmaster at the same time while speed dialing AA*
James | February 24, 2009 at 9:56 am
I’m going to have to disagree with you on your choices of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, and Woody Harrelson.
ROUGH DADDY | February 24, 2009 at 9:56 am
Lara flynn’s face looks like its been boiled and falling apart,,,wow, no wonder she couldnt keep a 70 year old dude…thats sad!
schwartzhausen | February 24, 2009 at 10:07 am
Alright. Perhaps this “gallery” could be relevant — if it wasn’t for the fact that many of these stars have already recovered and are nowadays as healthy as they were in their heyday. I mean, how many years old is that Whitney picture? And what about Britney, she sure looks fine today.
Dee | February 24, 2009 at 10:07 am
I agree with every one but Woody, he still looks good. At least he’s growing old gracefully. Damn Vince has some serious beer bloat. And WTF happened to Russell Crowe??
tweedle dee | February 24, 2009 at 10:11 am
i hope i get to grow old and smoke a lot of pot. and have a guy that looks as good as woody at that age.
RichPort's Ghost | February 24, 2009 at 10:16 am
They should change his name to Russell Growe.
shakeitout | February 24, 2009 at 10:17 am
the good picture of whitney is from this month at the grammys…
Jrz | February 24, 2009 at 10:21 am
hee hee, Rich.
Lara Flynn Gargoyle
I never knew that Mischa Barton was the kid ghost in The Sixth Sense…the one whose mother killed her and she gave Haley Joel Osment the videotape to play at the funeral.
observant.as.hell | February 24, 2009 at 10:24 am
I feel ya on all these except Woody and Mrs. “I married Xenu’s bitch” Cruise…
ROUGH DADDY | February 24, 2009 at 10:27 am
Romo is doing the right thing, id still rummage through those juicy thighs, as long as the belly doesnt look disgusting…
Bay | February 24, 2009 at 10:29 am
At first glance, I thought Katie Holmes was Johnny Depp.
Suzanne Denneen | February 24, 2009 at 10:35 am
How dare these human beings do human things like age, gain weight, succumb to illness, physical or psychological. How lucky we are to watch other humans lose their battle with decline so we may feel better about our own depressingly human condition.
Ummm...yeah... | February 24, 2009 at 10:37 am
What the fuck is that on Katie Holmes mouth?…herpes?
God, these celebs suck!
missywissy | February 24, 2009 at 10:43 am
yeah, woody looks good. Amy Winehouse? I didn’t know she ever looked good! Lindsay Lohan looks the same, smiling in one photo and not in the other. Seriously, what happened to Lara Flynn?
What a SUPERFICIAL way to start the day! Now everyone is paranoid about doing their drugs and eating their donuts. Shame on you Superficial.